(JP) Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek & Lieutenant Orson "Bear" Marshall: Defining Moments, Part II
Lael Rosek
(( Stella’s, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Earth))
{{Time Index: 239507}}
His gaze softened. Thunder rolled, his heart beat in a broken pattern, and he exhaled heavily.
O. Marshall: I wish it wasn’t.
Her eyes widened at his confession and her breath caught in her throat. She didn’t think her heart could beat this hard and this fast, her breath coming out in deep, shaky exhalations. The backs of her knuckles caressed his cheek and her tongue peeked out to moisten her lips. His confession hit her full force and her hands found his face, cradling it. Her legs shook as the strength of what she was feeling threatened to buckle them.
The alcohol had killed any control she’d been clinging to over her abilities and she gasped as the intimacy of their contact made him an open book to her. She pulled back and closed her eyes, breathing heavily as she leaned her forehead against his.
Rosek: ::rasps:: How long?
O. Marshall: Long enough.
Rosek: ::shakes her head and rasps:: That’s not an answer, you @$$.
It was said without any real heat because Lael wasn’t sure if she could muster any at the moment. She wasn’t angry, though part of her felt she should be. The unspoken connection that they’d both tried so hard to keep buried was out in the open now and there was no going back.
The sad smile it pulled out of him came alongside an exhale of breathed laughter, and he shook his head gently, forehead still against hers. He bit his bottom lip, chewing on it as those thoughts, feelings, and everything that filled the spaces in between, flooded like the deluge pouring down on them from above.
Rosek: ::sighs:: Bear.
O. Marshall: What do you want me to say, Lael? ::He pulled back from her, finding her eyes, cradling her face in his hands, a deep frown curving into his features.:: Would it do either of us any good?
Rosek: ::closes her eyes and murmurs:: This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to--
She stopped herself shy of saying the words. Saying them out loud would change everything. He was forbidden fruit. That was part of the appeal. He was only more tempting because it could never happen, though the multitude of reasons why were escaping her at the moment. She opened her eyes and wanted to cry with how good he looked right now, droplets of water sliding down his face...his hair and his beard soaked from the rain. Her gaze dropped to his lips, a memory flickering across her mind’s eye of them swollen and red from kisses shared after a night together years ago now.
The words that he couldn’t say ricocheted in his ribs, blue eyes following the beautiful features of her face; the woman had called him like a siren, fallen asleep in his arms, laughed at him. He’d never seen her like this; drenched in rain, a look on her face he couldn’t quite figure out, and he wanted to remember it, in case this was the last time he’d see it.
Rosek: ::pulls back breathless:: Bear, this is crazy.
O. Marshall: I know, I--
Rosek: ::rasps:: I--Bear, I’m engaged. I shouldn’t be--
He stopped still, unsure if he’d heard her correctly, but as the words repeated again, he frowned and pulled back to see her eyes, looking from one to the other. A bullet to the heart, an anchor hitting him solidly in his chest. His mouth started and stopped, failing in his communications subsystems, before he managed to carve out one sentence.
O. Marshall: You’re engaged.
She felt the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, her chest tight, every muscle in her body tensing. Her knees finally gave and she leaned into him for support, burying her face in his chest and clutching at his shirt as she sobbed, releasing weeks of pent-up frustration, anger, anxiety, and confusion, her tears soaking the fabric.
Rosek: ::stutters:: W-we had a f-fight. Tha-that’s why I was here. That and the custody hearing. I’m so scared that I’m going to lose Maddy, Bear. She’s become such a large part of my life the thought of losing her--I don’t know what to do. Her biological father has so much ammunition he can use against me. I could lose my commission--everything I’ve worked so hard for.
He wrapped his arms around her and tucked the crown of her head beneath his chin, inhaling deeply and staring off into the rolling thunder in the distant sky. A fight with her fiance, a fight for her daughter, a fight for her career… It was all a bit much for anyone.
O. Marshall: Do you want me to take you home?
Did she want to go back to the hotel room? It would mean facing Jon and she wasn't sure she was ready for that just yet. She sighed. A part of her wanted to stay with Bear. He made her feel safe. But he also presented a temptation. Though she hadn't had many serious relationships, she wasn't the type to betray her partner when she was in one.
Rosek: ::murmurs huskily:: Yeah. I--I probably should head back.
O. Marshall: You don’t sound so sure about that. ::Frowning, he pulled back enough to look at her, searching her eyes, though he wasn't sure for what.:: Not as sure as I’d like you to.
Rosek: ::sighs:: It's--it's complicated.
Exhaling, he withdrew his arms from around her, dropping his hands to her waist. An intimate touch, maybe, and one they’d shared before. For a second, he looked off into the road, the highways and connected transport links that made the city what it was, all through the haziness of rain.
O. Marshall: Do you want to come with me?
More than he knew. At least with him, she knew the connection went beyond the need for survival...beyond the burning desire she'd felt with Toryn. Bear was a kindred soul in so many ways and if the timing had been better, it could have worked between them. Something about the thought of another single night with Bear made her chest ache. They were, and always had been, like two ships passing in the night, both too afraid of what a future might look like if they opened up to each other. It would be so easy to fall right into his arms and enjoy what he did for her. But she'd regret it in the morning.
Rosek: ::whispers:: I-I'm going through my species’ mating drive. If I don't mate with another Al-Leyan, it could be fatal. ::exhales shakily:: But I'm a half-breed. Mating with outsiders--it's dangerous. It only delays the inevitable.
O. Marshall: And I’m only human. ::He smiled at the attempt of a joke, though it had sadness winding through it, and a twinge of jealousy coating his next question that he couldn’t quite keep out.:: Jon, is he a---?
Rosek: ::gaze drops from his and murmurs:: He's human. ::pauses:: Toryn--he's Al-Leyan. But the laws--
Bear’s brow furrowed as he looked at her, something indiscernible winding up through his chest; a gripe of pain that his body didn’t quite know where to place. His finger curled under her chin and lifted her gaze back up to his.
O. Marshall: If it saves your life, it’s worth it.
::Her breath caught as she met Bear's gaze. Damn it. Why did he have to be so selfless?::
Rosek: ::blinks back tears:: Every few years, I have to betray a Human to save my life. I--I don't know if I can live like that. ::caresses his cheek:: Al-Leyans aren't monogamous. Even if I found one I loved enough to commit a lifetime to, he couldn't do the same for me. ::smiles sadly:: See? Complicated.
He nodded, blinking away rain from his eyes as he looked up. It wasn’t a way to live, or to love, if everything was made that much harder simply by biology and chemistry. Running a hand up through his wet hair, he held the back of his neck for a moment.
O. Marshall: What are you going to do?
Rosek: ::pauses:: Chythar thinks he's found a way to simulate Al-Leyan male pheromones in a non Al-Leyan. He's hoping we can trick my body into thinking it's mating with an Al-Leyan. But there's no guarantee it'll work.
O. Marshall: Then that’s what you do. You keep trying and fighting for this.
She sighed, laying her head on his chest, listening to his heart thudding against his ribcage. Her eyes stung as tears threatened again. For a few moments, she allowed herself to forget the complications and soak him in, the strength of his chest beneath her hands. But a hover car horn in the distance brought her crashing back to reality.
Rosek: ::murmurs:: Even without Jon and the mating drive, we're complicated.
O. Marshall: You said it.
Rosek: ::lifts her head from his chest:: Take me back?
O. Marshall: Sure. ::He took her hand in is.:: Come on. Let’s get you home.
---
Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek
Executive Officer, USS Astraeus, NCC-70652
I238110RH0
&
Lieutenant Orson Marshall
Logistics and Communications Officer
USS Gorkon
G239304JM0
As written by Jo Marshall
