(JP) Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek & Lieutenant Orson "Bear" Marshall: Awkward Nostalgia, Part I
Lael Rosek
(( O. Marshall's Quarters, USS Gorkon ))
Stars zipped past the window, streaking with brilliance in the black, the multi-coloured nebulas creating a dazzling effect on the forcefield as they collided in technicolour. Sitting in the darkness, nursing a glass of whiskey, Bear scratched at his blond beard grown through again, staring out of the window, thoughts adrift in a sea of turmoil.
The latest message he'd sent through to the Montreal had been read, but not responded to. It seemed the recipient was as quiet as the galactic edge. As he took a pull from the tumbler, Bear glanced at the recent location reports and frowned. Out of the Shoals, the vessel would be capable of transmitting without it taking weeks to get back to him, and within instant communication range, so why was it taking so long?
Settling back into his chair, Bear contemplated the implications of that for a little longer than he'd admit to. Chewing on his inner cheek, he reached forward and pressed the initiator for a comlink to be patched through to the Montreal - to one person in particular - and waited… and waited… until the link disconnected.
That got him sitting up, focusing on the computer he frowned for a second before diving into the slew of mission reports and secure information. When he found what he was looking for, bemusement was evident carving across his face. What the hell was she doing on the Astraeus?
O. Marshall: Computer, open a communication to Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek, on the USS Astraeus.
((First Officer’s Office, USS Astraeus))
Though she’d ditched the crutch a long while ago, her leg still stiffened up on her from time to time. She winced as the muscle cramped in the middle of her rising from her chair and she massaged her calf, hoping that would work it out. After all the moving she’d done today, it was going to need some serious icing. It irritated her to no end how her recovery was interfering with her regular workouts. She was still working to get back the full power in her leg. Something about the way Rilaw had hit it must have done a bit more damage to the nerves than she thought. Sure, there was modern technology, but it seemed she was a bit more breakable than most people if somebody hit the right spot.
An alert from her monitor of an incoming video communication caused her to jump. With the interference in the Shoals, she wasn’t used to getting them and the noise took her by surprise. Still fighting the cramp in her leg, she slid into the chair and entered the command that would pull it up. To her surprise, she found herself looking at the face of Bear Marshall and she scowled, still working her leg.
Rosek: In case I didn’t say in my last letter, you’re an idiot.
O. Marshall: You did, to excess. I don’t think I’ve ever read so many words meaning the same thing in quick succession before.
Rosek: ::rolls her eyes:: Why I put up with you…
O. Marshall: Because of my excellent conversation skills. ::Through the feed, Bear grinned, swallowing down another mouthful of caramel coloured liquid.:: And my endearingly scruffy nature.
Rosek: ::smirks:: Really? Here I thought it was because you have a useful mouth when you’re not running it.
O. Marshall: Is that so? ::A blond eyebrow arched.:: Talented, I think you’ll find the word is. A jam or two is easy to navigate when words come easily.
The smile wavered slightly as she recalled the last time they’d been close enough to touch one another. She’d been so very tempted to say screw it and give in to him. They’d both been soaking wet and damn if he didn’t look just as good wet as dry.
Rosek: Seriously. What’s with the call? I thought you’d still be recovering from your latest act of stupidity.
O. Marshall: Concentrated acts of poor judgement hardly constitute stupidity.
He regarded her features on the monitor, felt that familiar tug somewhere in the region of his ribs of a feeling long since burned and buried, and dropped his gaze to the glass cradled in his hand, swishing it from side to side momentarily.
O. Marshall: I could say the same about you.
She tensed, her lips forming a thin line, and her leg throbbed a bit almost as if to remind her of exactly what it had endured at the hands of the Klingon woman and the extremist Vulcan madman. As much as she’d wanted to be the one to kill Lenik, the better part of her was grateful she hadn’t been the one responsible for ending his life. She had enough burdens to bear without having that weight on her shoulders, too.
As much as she’d hated reliving those terrible parts of her past, it had helped her to realize that the only hope she had of moving forward was to confront the choices she’d made and allow herself grace. She’d been in some difficult situations and had made the best choice she could have at the time. Some of those were selfish, but she was determined to learn from it.
Rosek: You certainly did your research.
O. Marshall: I was concerned.
Rosek: Well, as you can see, I'm fine.
It was a lie. She was anything but fine. But she was coping. She was at least a fair sight better than she had been in a long time despite the pain in her leg. She had German and the baby. That was all she needed.
O. Marshall: You sure about that? You don’t look fine.
Her features softened.
Rosek: ::grins wryly:: Thanks a lot.
O. Marshall: You know what I mean. ::He caught her eyes for the length of a breath.:: What’s going on? What’re you not telling me?
Rosek: ::tenses:: It's all in my AAR if you care to look. I don't want to rehash it.
O. Marshall: Alright. ::He frowned, placing the glass on the desk.:: How’s German doing? Your super science boy still treating you well?
She felt a bit guilty for getting so defensive. They usually told each other everything. But something about this gave her pause. Lenik could easily have driven her past the brink of sanity with his mind melds. She had no idea how trained he was, but given the tattered edges of her mind that she was still working on healing, not very. From what she’d been able to glean from Solok, her abilities had gotten stronger from it...likely because of what she’d had to do to fight back against him.
Rosek: ::rolls her eyes:: Yeah, though I wasn’t a fan of the nursemaid period when I was in the early stages of my recovery. He was already protective. He didn’t need another excuse.
A small but wry grin crept back onto Bear’s face, possibly appearing as though it didn’t really want to be there at all. An old and battered internal conflict that had waged and weathered over years still liked to make his heart feel mossy.
O. Marshall: Maybe not, and I doubt you’re making it easy for him. Sometimes we all need to let someone else take care of us for a change.
She scowled. She'd been perfectly able to take care of herself for most of her life. She certainly didn't need a man to do it for her. As much as she liked feeling safe with German, the last thing she needed was for him to get the idea that she wasn't perfectly capable of whipping his @$$ if necessary. She hated weakness and hated more being the one to show it.
Rosek: I could say the same about you. You need someone to keep you from doing dumb $@!^.
The wryness of his grin slid away into a smile as he watched her scowl, being on the receiving end of it on more occasions than he had fingers.
O. Marshall: And where would the fun be?
Rosek: ::huffs:: For one, you could spare Jo the trouble often enough that she could have a life and maybe even a date now and again.
His eyes rolled exaggeratedly at the mention of his dear sister, languishing decks above in the First Officer’s quarters, thoroughly a damaged article in his perpetual ambition to tear himself apart at the seams.
O. Marshall: Her dating life is no concern of mine. Besides, she lives with Erin, so I’m quite sure they get enough alone time.
She arched both eyebrows at that bit of news. Well, that explained a couple of things...the least of which was Erin turning Anjar down. Lael had taken a few turns on the ride that was Anjar’s moods and while she hadn't blamed the woman one bit knowing how difficult Anjar was to put up with at the best of times, she had been curious. He was a good looking man and a good time between the sheets.
Rosek: Not that I'm completely shocked, but...still.
O. Marshall: Your eyebrows say otherwise. ::He chuckled, taking a pull from the whiskey glass, ice clinking together.:: They’re happy. Apparently skirting around one another for years is the way to go about these things.
Lael managed to fight back a wince. He hadn’t meant it as a jab, but it was one nonetheless. The truth stung. Dancing around each other for years hadn’t gotten her and Bear anywhere but the friendzone...at least with each other. She had what she hoped was the last relationship she ever would and Bear probably wasn’t too far off from it himself...if he’d pull his head out of his @$$ and pay enough attention. People like them were hard to love, but eventually somebody came along wanting to try and ended up fairly successful at it.
Rosek: ::sighs:: If only that worked all the time.
Crunching on a chunk of ice, his eyebrows flicked up momentarily in muted agreement. He caught her meaning well enough, caused by his own verbal wanderings, and tried to shove those memories back down where they belonged. Pragmatism was the approach that had come in handy over the years. Honesty was the last thing either of them needed.
O. Marshall: We were never meant for each other, Lael. ::He smiled, though muted and with a touch of sadness that radiated into the creases of his eyes.:: Though, it was nice to think that for a moment, it felt like we could have been.
The intimacies they’d shared seemed almost bittersweet now in the light of day, so much time later and yet not a single moment had faded from her memory. In fact, she recalled full well things that were now painful and would need to be forgotten if she were to have any hope of moving on. It had been passionate, yes. However, passion alone had gotten her little over the years...only more broken hearts than she cared to admit.
It would have been so easy to give in to Bear and let the feelings ride. Likely, though, they would have burnt each other out as the same passion they showed between the sheets would have led to friction when they disagreed on things, as they often did. They were both too headstrong for either to come out the other side intact.
Rosek: ::shakes her head:: Two stubborn idiots with too much pride.
O. Marshall: Or two fools who didn’t know when to stop. ::He shrugged a shoulder up and sighed, feeling the echo in his chest.:: We got tired of hurting one another in the end. Sometimes, I think I miss it.
She missed him, too...more than she cared to admit. Though at times she wondered if it wasn’t the carefree days that she missed more. They’d had a good time and the universe had always faded to the background when she was with Bear. That wasn’t likely to change.
German had a different effect. Something about him made her feel like she was seeing the true colors of the universe for the first time. She’d always thought she wanted someone she could share a telepathic and empathic bond with, but German didn’t fit that mold and, if she was honest with herself, it was probably for the best.
There was a certain amount of mystery in not knowing everything he was thinking...even if with her increased empathic abilities, she could feel everything he was feeling.
Rosek: ::murmurs:: I do miss that sometimes, too, but I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.
---
Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek
Executive Officer, USS Astraeus, NCC-70652
I238110RH0
&
Lieutenant Orson Marshall
Logistics and Communications Officer
USS Gorkon
G239304JM0
As written by Jo Marshall