[sb118-astraeus] Lt JG Charles Matthews and Lt. Cmdr Esa Kiax - Natasha, Part Three

[Shakeel Hussein]

((Matthews Family Home, Luna / Sickbay, USS Astraeus))

 

Charles: I… I don’t know where to begin. I’m…

 

The child-like innocence left Natasha’s face as she focused on her baby brother, watching as he struggled to keep himself from breaking down.

 

Natasha: What is the one thing that you’ve uttered the most since Mars?

 

It was that question that finally did it. He opened his eyes, letting his head drop as it angled towards the floor and, as the floodgates opened, the tears he’d been struggling to hold back suddenly surged to prominence. As if it would stop the tears from falling, Charles raised his hand to his face, covering his eyes with his trembling fingers. It did nothing. The tears caused his face to glisten as he sniffled and tried to take several shaky breaths before starting to force out his next words.

 

Charles: …Natasha ::pause:: I’m sorry…

 

He turned to face her, wiping his cheek with his sleeve. His eyes were starting to sting as the tears continued.

 

Charles: I… You died… because of me. I let you down.

 

Natasha: ::tapping her palm flat against the sofa cushion:: Sit down, Charlie. Please.

 

Starting to regret that he had moved away from his sister in the first place, Charles took the few short steps back to the sofa and sat down next to Natasha. He waited, sensing that she wasn’t done and had something further to say.

 

Natasha: Listen to me. You never let me down, and you didn’t let mom down either. You were a child. It wasn’t your fault.

 

He had heard these words before, several times; from counsellors, teachers and even from Alyssa and Kieran. Whoever said them, it didn’t matter. He’d listen, nod in agreement, act like he’d taken them in, and still carry on as before. Hearing them coming out of Natasha’s mouth finally made them hit home that little bit more, even if only a little.

 

He shook his head.

 

Charles: Nat. It was. I could have been better. A better brother to you. A better son to mom. I should have been, and I didn’t realise it until it was too late.

 

Natasha: What did I just say? I said listen.

 

She smirked towards him, pulling at his nearest ear as he tried, and failed, to dodge her advancing hand.

 

Natasha: You’re still just as stubborn as you’ve always been, aren’t you?

 

Charles: And you’re still a pain.

 

Natasha: ::laughing:: That, I am.

 

He felt his brow furrow, his head starting to feel numb from the crying which, thankfully, had started to slow.

 

Charles: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Here I am trying to say sorry for what I did and then I slip back into my old ways.

 

Now it was Natasha who shook her head, a bemused look crept onto her young face.

 

Natasha: Why are you saying sorry? ::sighs:: It was funny. I was a pain, so it makes sense that I still am. ::beat:: And you know what? You do need to go back to your old ways. You let Mars change you. You’ve carried the pain for so long. You second guess everything you’ve done and everything you haven’t. It wasn’t your fault and you need to let it go.

 

Charles: Why do I? I'm already as dead as a doornail, remember? It's too late.

 

Natasha: Well, you say that…

 

In what was proving to be a day of strange sensations, the strangest so far suddenly washed over Charlie as he noticed his sister letting her voice trail off. He couldn’t even articulate what this feeling was. It wasn’t anything he had ever experienced before. The only way he could describe it was as if he was being pulled between one place and another; a tingling sensation within his head switched into some sort of fogginess and there was a weight pushing at him. Or dragging at him. Whatever it was, it was moving him and he felt stretched or split in two. He started to feel weak and nauseous.

 

He blinked hard in an attempt to regain his composure but it didn’t help, focusing on his sister next to him or the distant Earth visible through the window didn’t help either, and he found himself placing his left hand onto the arm of the sofa to try and steady himself.

 

Then, out of the blue, an echoing voice sounded out within the living room. Or was it within his head? As it whooshed around, varying in loudness and tone, Charles just couldn’t tell. All he knew was that it was a sweet voice, intertwined with a determination, and, whilst it was someone that he recognised, he still couldn’t put a finger on who it was that was talking. Or where they were.

 

Saa: ~~ Matthews, stay with us. ~~

 

Charles: What the hell was that?!

 

Saa: ~~ Don’t you dare, Matthews. ~~

 

Matthews turned towards Natasha, breathing heavily, his face still streaked with remnants of tears.

 

Charles: Did you hear that?

 

Natasha looked around the living room, almost with wonder spread across her face, before she once again gazed at her sibling and let out a happy chortle.

 

Natasha: Oh, I most certainly did, Charlie. I think someone is trying to save you.

 

Charles: Save me? Who is trying to save me? I thought I was already dead.

 

The gentle smirk remained upon her young face.

 

Natasha: If you don’t know who it is, then I’m not going to either.

 

Matthews: I don't think I want to go… I don't want to lose you again.

 

Natasha: I've always been here, little brother. You're going to go back but this time, you need to promise me something. Promise me that you’ll live. Stop wasting time.

 

Matthews winced as the sensation from earlier returned with a vengeance, his head now feeling as if it was being ripped into a million little pieces and he squeezed his sister's hand.

 

Saa: ~~ Charles, come on, I know this is hard… this is a nightmare for all of us involved, but you told me… ~~

 

Natasha looked at Charles with a cheeky glint in her eye.

 

Natasha: What did you tell her, Charlie?

 

Charles: I can’t remember… I don’t even know who it is. Why can’t I remember?

 

Natasha: Who knows, brother? Maybe it’s your brain functions slowly twinkling away.

 

Saa: ~~ We won’t fail, and I’m not about to let you go back on your word by dying here. You won’t fail, nor will I. ~~

 

Natasha: Oooh. “We won’t fail”. ::laughing:: I wonder what you were back amongst the living.

 

Charlie felt his eyes narrow and he shot his sister a serious look.

 

Charles: You’re being less than helpful right now. How can you go from serious to childish within the blink of an eye?

 

The laugh faded and left a gentle smile in its place as Natasha’s brows angled slightly, it was a trait the two of them shared; they both had expressive faces. She looked at Charlie with a warmth in her eyes.

 

Natasha: OK, Charlie. Fine. I can do serious. ::beat:: You never answered me earlier. I need you to promise me that you’ll let this all go. Me and mom. It wasn’t your fault and it’s weighed you down for long enough. Please, promise me. You always kept your promises. If you say it now, I know you’ll do it.

 

A singular tear ran down his cheek and he had to fight to get out his response.

 

Charles: ::nodding gently:: I… I promise, Nat.

 

Natasha hugged Charlie tightly and whispered to him.

 

Natasha: Go live a good life, Charlie.

 

He squeezed his sister firmly, grateful for this bizarre chance that he had to talk to her one more time, and another tear or two fell deftly onto her shoulder.

 

Charles: I’ll… try. ::pause:: I love you.

 

Matthews wasn’t sure when Natasha had let go but she was gone all of a sudden, and there was nothing apart from darkness. The old family home had disappeared, as well as all the comfort it had brought to him. As he blinked slowly, his eyes burning from the rush of bright light into his retinas, he recognised a somewhat familiar face and the even more recognisable voice that had been calling out to him.

 

Saa: Welcome back… Zerozerozero. ::she would smile before turning to the table where she felt Matthew’s presence as well, offering him a relieved, for once genuine smile:: You too, Charles… Lieutenant Matthews.

 

To Be Continued…

 

 

---

 

 

Lieutenant JG Charles Matthews

Acting Chief of Tactical & Security

USS Astraeus NCC-70652

A240012CM1

 

&

 

Lieutenant Commander Esa Kiax

Chief Operations Officer

USS Astraeus NCC-70652

A239511ED0