LtJG Jovenan – I will have my payback
Jovenan
((Chief Tactical Officer’s office, Deck 8, USS Artemis))
Silveira had pulled a prank on her, but it seemed his praise to her was genuine. So was the mild blush on Jovenan’s face as Silveira kept insisting the laudation was deserved, despite her objections.
Jovenan: Thank you. I will, umm, try to keep doing that in the future. But I sure hope you’ll be on the tactical console the next time we’re in a combat situation. I had never fired a ship phaser before, and I only know how they worked only in theory. Even my hand phaser shooting is bad! We were lucky that the Suliban ship wasn’t much stronger and that the Berlin was there, because otherwise I couldn’t have done much good.
Silveira: ::Nooding:: Maybe, but you had to pass from theory to practice in seconds. All the more reason to be happy with the way you acted. Hell, I have been in Tactical for years and wasn’t careful enough when first firing. It’s much like the hand phaser, or to use a more familiar tool to you, like working a tricorder. You certainly didn't get it right on the first try. What we are always learning makes us better ourselves.
She stopped to think for a moment. Tricorders and phasers seemed very different to her. You could read the theory in tricorder usage and actually learn it, while phasers seemed to be dependant of many factors you couldn’t just learn from a book. Correct hold, posture, aim, confidence, calmness… But to think of, even with a tricorder, with enough practise, you’d learn to know instinctively what each function did and where to find them, and which information was relevant. Anyone could wave it around, but doing so efficiently required training, just like anyone could pull a trigger but only a trained individual would hit the target without endangering others. Maybe tricorders and phasers weren’t that different. Jovenan began to understand what the Lieutenant had said. It made more sense now.
Jovenan: Is there a way to learn that? Or is it something one should just… get over time? I’ve had lucky that my solutions had worked good enough before, but I can’t always put my trust on “good-enough”.
Silveira raised his eyebrows and leaned back. Jovenan patiently waited the older and wiser officer to think for a response. Soon, he leaned back with a frown on his face.
Silveira: First I don’t think it was a matter of luck, if you had made really poor decisions no amount of luck would help. I don’t want to presume to know how your thought process works, hell I hardly know how mine does, but I believe you relied on two things. ::he raised one finger.:: Your training and.. ::he raised the other:: Your comrades and superiors. So I think you put your trust in the right things. Your training, your lessons, your comrades. ::He smiled and leaned back.:: From the way I see it, that is why things worked good. Luck didn’t had anything to do with it.
He paused for a second. It was easy for Jovenan to trust her colleagues, at least the ones she knew, as she had all faith in them. But she could also see how this wasn’t always true. Commander Adea stabbing Silveira unexpectedly during the mission on Meranuge had made her doubt if she can trust any of her superiors. And trusting her training…
Silveira: Now there are things you can practice that might help you to improve. But nothing beats experience, and that only comes with time. You begin to act or react to past experience more easily and recall something you or someone else did. ::He raised his hands and rolled his eyes.:: Still you will always face something new, and that expression of “expecting the unexpected” is just a load of… Waste. Because I lost track of the times I saw the “unexpected” in front of me when I wasn’t expecting.
It all made sense. Silveira had years of experience, and while everything seemed to come to him easily, he must have not started out that way. He knew what he was talking about. But it seemed somehow so frustrating. It took ages to gain years’ worth of experience, and there was no guarantee she’d make it.
Jovenan: I… understand. I think. There aren’t any, uh, shortcuts, then.
He shrugged and shook his head. Okay. She lowered her head a little, studying the objects on his desk for a moment while thinking. She wasn’t entirely the same person who had left the God’s Claims about a decade ago, nor the person who was drafting her Academy course selections five years ago, not even the person who first tried getting anything other than a taco out of Excalibur’s replicators almost a year ago. It had been slow, but she could see the results already. All she could do was hope that she could gather enough experience before she encountered a problem she couldn’t overcome otherwise.
The veteran Lieutenant continued, and Jovenan raised her head to look him in the eyes again.
Silveira: I hope I am not sounding condescending or worse, like one of our old Instructors at the Academy. And truth be told I am not the most exemplary officer to give you advice. But I will tell you that you should learn from your mistakes, when you make them. And don’t overthink. The truth is we are never ready, we just have training that helps us control the fear, stress, pain, you name it that we face out here. Each of us has its own way, I am sure you will find yours. So far you are on the right path, if permit me to say it. Just don’t go and do anything stupid like thinking you can handle it on your own. ::He smiled leaning back.:: Our former Captain once told me we aren’t alone, I would advise you to remember that.
Jovenan didn’t know which Captain had said that, and she believed Silveira had had more than one anyway, but it sounded like something Commodore Nicholotti could have said. And again, what he said was true. If she had spent more time analysing the Da’allium dust alone while Silveira and Commander Adea were inside, they would all have been ripped to pieces by the Da’al crowd. If she hadn’t had the others around her, it would have ended badly. And, maybe, if they had been without her, the result would have been equally awful. Don’t try to solve problems you can’t overcome alone.
Jovenan: You sound like you know what you’re talking about. Was it Commodore Nicholotti who said that?
Silveira nodded and leaned back again, smiling at her.
Silveira: Well, sometimes experience doesn’t always carry knowledge. Of that I am a good example. I take too long to learn my lessons. And yes it was Commodore Nicholotti that said that.
Jovenan: I see…
She sat there for a minute more, thinking what she had learnt today, in this rather unexpected opportunity. Silveira was definitely one of the officers she looked up to. So were the Captain and Commanders Dakora and Adea. She hoped she could continue work with them, and all the other senior officers aboard, maybe she’d be able to absorb even a crumb of their vast experience. Maybe.
Silveira: Response
Jovenan: Oh, right. No, you didn’t bother me at all. It was nothing important, I was just having a run in the Fitness Centre.
Silveira: Response
It had been an enlightening conversation, but it was the time for it to end. The Lieutenant must have been busy with the analysis of the Suliban attack and all his other important duties. Standing up, Jovenan considered if she would go back to the Fitness Centre and resume her workout, or if she preferred to just return to her quarters and have a sonic shower.
Jovenan: Thank you for the advice and the, umm, compliment, sir. ::serious voice and stern look:: But there is one thing you’re wrong about.
Silveira: Response?
Jovenan: You are the most exemplary officer to give you advice. I don’t need… ::tries to think of a human expression:: I don’t need a saint to lecture me about Hell, but one who has been there and back. You are the person here I’ve seen to be the most… human. And yet you’re also the bravest. Even with a sword through you body you continued to give me orders. Thank you.
Silveira: Response?
Jovenan turned her serious face to a smile. She turned towards the door, but looked over her shoulder and waved him.
Jovenan: ::chirpily:: See you later, sir!
Silveira: Response?
TAG/TBC
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Lieutenant JG Jovenan
Science officer
USS Artemis-A
E239911J11