Gila Sadar - A Life Ended so a New May Begin
LT Gila Sadar
(( Captain’s Ready Room – Deck 1, USS Artemis-A ))
Sadar: ... D-During Frontier Day... I-I... L-Lieutenant Gnai’s suit was assimilated... I-It was chasing u- ::shakes head:: me on the Bridge. I-It c-caught me, a-and I was... I-I d-don’t know h-how or why, b-but I... I attacked it.
MacKenzie: You attacked it?
Gila didn’t blame the Captain’s echoing of that notion. Gila was not a violent person, or so she’d thought until she’d encountered her alternate version from the Shint Universe. But no, the capacity for violence had always resided within her. It was naiveté and obstinate rebellion that had managed to convince her she could be anything but... With trembling fingers, she accessed the PADD she’d submitted for evidence, locating the real X-Ray that she’d tried so desperately to keep out of public records. The X-Ray that had doomed her.
When she placed it back upon the desk, Captain MacKenzie just stared at it for a long while before finally picking it up. She was certain the X-Ray spoke for itself - Captain MacKenzie was a skilled doctor in her own right - but she wasn’t quite able to not speak. The silence seemed even worse than her admitting her guilt. Now that she’d opened that vault of shame, it wouldn’t be so easily shut again.
Sadar: Th-These... ::twists anxiety ring clean off of finger:: Th-Th-These are... E-Extendable bone-like appendages that are housed in the h-hollow ramial bones that line my skull, a-and they can in t-times of great duress be expelled from the p-palate as a v-v-v-v- ::clears throat:: as a d-d-defensive m-mechanism.
MacKenzie: I see them. You mean to tell me you’ve been hiding them from Starfleet this whole time?
Gila shook her head. She would be completely truthful for this conversation. She owed the Captain that. Finally, for once in her service, there’d be no hiding.
Sadar: N-No Sir... I-I attended e-every physical check-up in the Academy, a-a-and... Th-They didn’t exist. A-At that time. ::wrings her hands:: I-I was scared. I didn’t w-want people to know. I-I wasn’t r-ready to accept that I... That I... That I... I-I’ve b-been p-purposefully avoiding m-my check-ups for the past 11 months, adding f-fake X-Rays to my medical journal for the past three... T-To prevent them from being... D-Discovered.
The Captain waved her hands, unimpressed.
MacKenzie: And so you thought, rather than tell anyone, rather than come to me and explain what had happened so that we might be able to help you, that your best or only course of action was to try and conceal it? Cover it up and hope for the best? Like it’s not a danger to you or your crewmates?
‘So that we might help you’. It felt like a splash of cold water in her face. Help her. They would have helped her? It felt like such a silly thing to question now, at this junction, as she should have known - logically - that the crew would’ve helped her figure out what the mandibles were. She had had that instinct somewhere all along, and yet fear and shame and the knowledge, or perhaps belief, that her people had been right in all their prejudices and dismissals had drowned that notion along with all semblance of right or wrong.
Or had she ever really known the difference? She wasn’t sure anymore.
Sadar: ... Y-Yes Sir.
The resulting sound from Captain MacKenzie’s palms colliding with the surface of her desk was enough to shatter the universe itself and every instinct in Gila’s body immediately forced her three steps back, her long arms raising in an expression of anti-social cowardice. The instinct of the Mizarian she pretended to be. But then, the Lieutenant she had hoped, and failed, to be reasserted herself, and she resumed her rigid posture, though she still trembled, rotating her anxiety band in her hand.
MacKenzie: That is the most egregious lapse in judgment I have witnessed from one of my officers. And I’ve seen a lot. What do you have to say for yourself?
Did she have anything? No. To begin with, she’d already said more than she’d hoped to. She’d wanted to enter the office, hand over the PADD and to receive her punishment. The coward’s way out. Captain Addison MacKenzie didn’t suffer cowards, and she’d dragged the truth, the awful truth, out of Gila. And now that the truth was out, Gila had no more words left.
Not even an apology. Apologies didn’t solve anything, even if they rang through your skull with the volume of the church bells of the grandest cathedral in the universe.
Sadar: Nothing, Sir...
The moment stretched into eternity as Gila awaited what was coming. It was instinctual. she’d sat through so many lessons at the Academy, so many cautionary tales, that she knew what was coming. For a moment, she thought maybe CloQ was playing at trick on her, as she imagined that she was seeing what was occurring in agonizing slow motion, but no... This wasn’t Q trickery or time travel. This was justice imposing itself, finally, a year too late.
Captain MacKenzie’s hand reached for her collar. Gila had never appreciated that motion, but usually, because she knew she hadn’t earned what was coming. She hadn’t earned the honor of it.
(((Flashback: SD240101.21)))
(( The Fifth Chalice - Oxeania Commercial District, Tharazad, Betazed ))
MacKenzie: There’s just one other matter. …Doctor Sadar?
Every bit of joy Gila had previously felt for the celebration of the Lieutenant was sapped out of her tall body in an instant, as she clumsily stumbled her way through the crowd towards the Captain. The horrible consequence of mainaintaing a peripheral position at events such as these became apparent when one’s superiors deemed fit to call you to the opposite end of the event. The sheer mass of people she had to pass through prolonged this excruciating situation far beyond what was well, and by the time she’d reached the Captain’s side, standing taller than the imposing Human woman even as she hunched over in an attempt to fold herself into a pocket of space-time unavailable to ordinary mortals, her anxiety band was twisting regularly on her finger.
MacKenzie: Doctor Sadar, you are… weird.
Gila turned the deepest of magentas at this comment, and she almost wanted to croak out a ‘sorry’, even as she felt friction burns on her finger.
MacKenzie: When you came aboard the Artemis, you were timid, and skittish, and I’m pretty sure you were on the verge of wetting yourself every time I walked in the room.
oO Was reprimands always on the itinerary of award ceremonies? Was it announced on the intercom? Did I miss the internal message about it? Oo
Before Gila had the chance to faint from panic at the very idea that she’d somehow missed a vital message about an incoming reprimand, and that she should prepare to be ceremonially airlocked from the Artemis upon their return, the Captain continued.
MacKenzie: But you are also an exceptional physician. I have watched the way you have interacted with your patients and the way you have started to form friendships with your colleagues. I have also seen the way you stand up for what you believe in, even if that means offering a dissenting opinion. Despite whatever insecurities you may have, I hope I no longer cause you any anxiety, as I believe you have the makings of an exceptional officer. One that has certainly earned my respect and the respect of everyone gathered here. It is my privilege as your commanding officer to promote you to the rank of Lieutenant JG.
Gila’s dark eyes grew to the size of plates the longer the Captain continued. Not just because the Captain - THE Addison MacKenzie - was offering Gila (ostensibly) genuine compliments, but also for the contents of those compliments.
An excellent physician? The makings of an exceptional officer!?
If it wasn’t because A) her father wouldn’t care enough to do so and B) the Captain was far too respectable a person to accept such a thing, Gila would’ve suspected bribery. Attempting to stand as straight as possible to allow for the addition of the hollow pip, while also continuously trying to sneak a glance to ensure that she wasn’t actually having a horrible nightmare, and trying to ignore the applause occurring within the bar in order to avoid the guilt that would surely set in in a moment, Gila awaited blissful release from this most awkward of positions.
((( END FLASHBACK )))
Captain Mackenzie removed one pip, and Gila felt her hands stiffen. Had it always been this heavy?
((( Flashback: SD240109.09 )))
((MacKenzie Family Residence – Cambridge, Massachusetts Earth))
MacKenzie: ::authoritatively:: Doctor Sadar.
Her applause died immediately as Gila stared up at the Captain. Horrid memories of dim Betazoid bars and public ridicule immediately surfaced in her mind, and her anxiety ring twisted almost as if by its own power. That is, until Gila realized that it was, of course, her own fingers who did the twisting.
Sadar: ::gulp:: Y-Y-Y-Yes Sir...
Eager to be back to anonymity as soon as possible, Gila shuffled to the front of the crowd with uncharacteristic speed, though she kept her eyes firmly anchored to the ground as she did so.
MacKenzie: Doctor Sadar, it is not lost on me how much you hate being put in situations like this. Many doctors are content to do their duty, save lives and help people when and where they can, and go on about their lives. The problem I have with you is that you continue go above and beyond the call of duty, not only in your medical obligations to this crew, but in your conduct and your ability to think outside the box. More than that, I appreciate your willingness to follow orders, even when you disagree with them, and to know the difference between objecting to them in the moment and raising the issue with your superiors later. Especially when I know how difficult that is for you. For your continued service to this crew, I have no choice but to promote you to the rank of full Lieutenant. Congratulations, Doctor!
Gila was very certain that Captain MacKenzie had no idea what the phrase ‘I have no choice’ meant in context.
((( END FLASHBACK )))
Captain Mackenzie removed her second pip, along with the Starfleet Delta pinned on the breast of her uniform.
MacKenzie: Get your things and get off my ship.
Her lungs felt empty - had she breathed yet? - her brain paused. It was done. She was done. There was nothing left.
oO Vai-net... Sil-net… Commander Jovenan... Lieutenant Gnai… Oo
The faces of all her friends, the crew who’d trusted her, floated before her eyes as Fleet Captain MacKenzie, Captain of the USS Artemis-A, turned her back to her and tossed the relics of Gila’s former life onto the desk’s surface, the tiny clinks created by the action mirroring the sensation of wet tears escaping Gila’s eyes as she realized what was happening.
She opened her mouth as Fleet Captain MacKenzie returned to her seat, her back still turned, but she had no voice to speak with. She had robbed herself of the right to do so. So all she could do, as she turned her back to the Captain to leave the Ready Room, for the last time, was curse herself.
oO I’m sorry Captain. Oo
The End for Gila Sadar…
(( OOC: I want to thank everyone for reading along with Gila’s arc that started a year ago now, during the height of Frontier Day. Gila is obviously now relegated to Civilian Life, and for the immediate future, she and her nephew are going to be taking up residence aboard DS224. Everyone who wants a scene with her once their characters realize what’s happened are more than welcome to tag her.
I do want to thank staff for helping me plan this arc and execute it this beautifully. It genuinely could not have happened without the assistance of Captain MacKenzie and my mentor, Jovenan. Thank you both for trusting me to pull this arc off in a way that remained in the spirit of everything Starbase 118 stands for in terms of narrative quality and consistency.))
Gila Sadar
Civilian
DS224
A240006GS1