PNPC Provisional Crewman Vhysa'lia - Self-Control
Lich
((Counselor’s Office - Deck 7, USS Artemis-A))
This was an interesting case. Imril had come in, of their own volition, worried about their conduct on a recent mission. She’d been mildly concerned that it might take some effort pulling out what exactly the problem was with them, as in the past, getting patients to admit to their own faults wasn’t exactly easy, but they’d surprised her by being a relatively open book.
What had not been expected, however, was what they’d brought as their concern. As far as they could tell, Imril was deeply fearful of losing control, of losing autonomy. Perhaps to an extent that they weren’t even aware of.
Vhysa’lia: You had a strong reaction to him and what he did to your away team, evidently. In your words, you felt caged, in a box. All very vivid imagery, fearful imagery. From how I understand it, feeling trapped may be the cause of your outburst. ::beat:: It sounds like an acute stress response, and your outburst was you trying to regain what you felt was lost control, lost autonomy. Does this sound accurate?
Imril: I’m not sure. The stress response part, sure. Yes! Very yes!... But… I think… ::Yet another long pause::... I regained control, took back my autonomy, when I broke the interference signal. With help. But I lost control, all over again, when I started chewing him out and couldn't stop.
Even losing control of themself had caused this stress reaction, apparently…
Vhysa’lia: I see…
Imril: That was my failure, not Evestre’s.
She shook her head. That wasn’t a healthy mindset to be in, not at this exact moment. Blaming themself wasn’t going to fix the problem, just exacerbate it.
Vhysa’lia: Reacting poorly under stress, or when one is afraid is natural…
Imril: ::Slow sigh:: And it wasn’t the first time.
They could work on distinguishing self-blame from taking proper responsibility for one’s own actions at a different time, as this seemed a far more pressing thread to pull.
Vhysa’lia: This has happened before, then? ::leaning forwards slightly in their chair, intent to hear more:: If you’re comfortable, I think it would be enlightening to hear more about other times that you’ve… lost control like this.
Imril: Response
Vhysa’lia: No blaming yourself, Imril, not when you’re telling me your story.
Imril: Response
Another nod, as she sat back to take in Imril’s words. There was a lot more to unpack than they had anticipated at the start of this session, but this was good. It was good for them to get all this out in the open with someone, and to make steps towards improvement.
Vhysa’lia: From the sounds of it, you’re not just afraid of losing control due to other people taking it from you, but losing control of yourself to your own emotions. You don’t seem to trust yourself as much as you want to, at least as far as I understand what you’ve been telling me. ::beat:: Does this sound accurate?
This was something they had copious experience treating, as new Kobali were often afraid of losing their pasts to their present and future self, but it was a necessary step towards being a functioning person within their society.
Imril: Response
Tags/TBC :)