LtCmdr Jovenan – Not a goodbye
Jovenan
((Chief Science Officer’s office, Deck 9, USS Artemis))
The concerned expression gave way to the re-emerging frown as Jovenan turned back to the PADD. She didn’t have the expertise nor the intention to question Doctor Meyers’ evaluation of Lieutenant Gnai’s health. However, as her eyes jumped between the lines looking for the most relevant portion of the text, her frown deepened. She tried to understand the motivation for this particular recommendation. After a while, she raised her eyes from the device, looking at Gnai with a softer expression. It knew better what it was asking for.
Jovenan: Just the away team missions? And not the ship-side service?
Gnai: Yes, sir. Just away team missions.
Jovenan spread out her left arm and hand before bringing it back to the PADD. She could understand that the away missions were stressful – they had all been to one – and that in almost all lifeforms, stress could manifest itself as physical and mental ailments. The decision wasn’t a matter of if it was possible, either.
Jovenan: Well, I could remove you from the active away team rotation and talk with the rest of the ship staff so that you wouldn’t be called into a mission if it’s possible to avoid that. Is that what you’d want?
Gnai bobbed in its tank in a way that Jovenan interpreted as enthusiasm.
Gnai: Yes, that would be very appreciated.
Pressing her lips tightly together, Jovenan considered if that was the decision she should have made. There was little reason to deny Gnai release from the away team duties. Starfleet held the physical and mental health of its crews in high regard. They weren’t in a war or immediate danger where sacrifices could not only be asked but also demanded. Still, she was uncertain if she had done Gnai a service by just releasing it from the away missions. The Artemis had been taken over almost every other mission, it had been in battles and alternate timelines. Surely service there wasn’t much less stressful.
Jovenan: But are you certain you want to risk it with resuming service on the Artemis? I’m not sure if the ship would be much less stressful for you. You have good grounds to apply for a transfer to a starbase or a planetary installation, and I would of course give you a good reference and help you find a place…
Gnai: Sir… this isn’t sure how to explain it, but this isn’t stressed while aboard the Artemis. Leaving the Artemis for good would be far worse than staying.
Jovenan lowered the PADD to the desk and leaned back. She couldn’t tell what, exactly, was leading the Galadoran scientist to request staying aboard. Sense of duty? Not wanting to show perceived weakness or other cultural phenomenon she didn’t understand? Friendship? As Jovenan had seen it, Gnai was putting itself at risk by staying, but now it was claiming otherwise. She didn’t think of it as a liar; there was something she didn’t know.
Jovenan: How is that?
Gnai: This left Galador II to study the stars, and to live amongst them. Being confined to a station, or stuck planet-side would mean that this couldn’t follow its dreams, and be truly fulfilled. ::pause:: Aboard the Artemis, even with the risks of battle, this has felt that it is exactly where it’s supposed to be. It’s just that when it goes down to a planet and is stuck in the middle of a warzone, or chased by homicidal plants or pre-warp aliens… that is what causes this stress. Being away from the ship, away from the science that this loves and understands, feeling useless with the exception of the containment suit’s strength…
Trying to avoid a frown returning to her face, Jovenan listened to Gnai attentively. She could see why it considered its scientific work on the ship more meaningful and fulfilling than dealing with whatever danger the universe had thrown in their way that week. She didn’t agree with Gnai being useless other than for physical strength, but if it felt that way, she could see why it might have grown to hate the away missions.
The CSO sighed. Gnai had a good reason to not go for an away mission, and it had a good reason to stay aboard. It wasn’t like the ship was at full capacity, either, having to boot officers who couldn’t contribute to all types of missions. The away teams usually only consisted of senior officers anyway.
Jovenan: In that case, I don’t see why not to accept your original request.
Gnai: ::as if a great deal of tension has vanished:: Thank you for understanding, sir.
Jovenan: It’ll be difficult to replace you in away teams, but I’m just happy that I don’t have to say goodbye to you forever.
Gnai gave her something similar to a bow before turning away and leaving. Jovenan didn’t lower her gaze even after the doors closed and she was left alone again. Leaning her head against both her hands, she kept thinking if she had made the right choice in letting it stay. She didn’t want to let it go, but she didn’t want to see it get hurt further if its choice had been the wrong one.
Her thoughts wandered. At what point was it negligent in her part to allow a person to resume service with risk to themselves? At what point was Starfleet negligent in allowing anyone to serve on a starship? Some people said they worked better with some stress, but none had yet claimed to thrive in it. How many were close to the breaking point but hid it?
Jovenan straightened her posture and banished the thoughts. Opening the computer console, she inputted the information about Gnai’s changed away team status. Hopefully it knew what it had just asked of her.
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Lieutenant Commander Jovenan
Chief Science Officer
USS Artemis-A
E239911J11