PNPC Lt Commander Lori Lux - Uncomfortable Contradictions
Ava Munro
((Counsellor's Office - Counselling Suites - Deck 7 - USS Artemis-A))
Storm: I think Kona sees things differently, and if I’m honest, I don’t know whose point of view is more correct because I’m sure that neither of us has a corner on truth when it comes to our relationship or our daughter.
Lux: I'm interested in how you see the predicament, Alexandra? And if you could expand on those feelings of being cornered, it sounds to me as if you believe that you've created the circumstances?
Words seemed to tumble out of Alexandra at that moment, and Lori leaned forward eager to listen and mentally began to take notes. Ever since her joining her memory had vastly improved. She suspected it was a combination of Baris, the Investigator, and Sorasha the holonovelist, who spent much of her time in the later years wandering through the streets of her past.
Storm: How do I see this falling out? Well, I saw that Kona wasn’t happy. He didn’t want to be aboard a starship. He didn’t want to be the stay-at-home dad, but I refused to give up Starfleet. I had given up my independence to marry a complete stranger - per Betazoid arranged marriage customs, I wasn’t giving up my career. That’s when I started to feel cornered. We thought that having a child together may bring us closer, so we conceived Cassie. But because after my maternity leave, he had the luxury of being with her all the time, I felt like he held her over my head. It was just subtle things, a carefully worded statement, feelings that I’d get from him in moments when he wasn’t careful with his emotions. By this time, he realized how much he loved being a dad and being with his daughter. He wanted another child and I refused.
She squirrelled away information that she intended to come back to if she had an opportunity in this session or another, if Alexandra chose to return.
“I had given up” was a recurring theme. As well as being cornered - again. Cornered by her decisions and cornered by Kona, and her daughter. She wondered when Alexandra had begun to feel cornered and suspected that it may be deeper than any of this. Yet … that was all part of the discovery. Alexandra was a new client and therefore it was harder to predict where the psychological turns could be. The traps, as some would call them.
Lori liked to think of them as “mind bogs”, where clients would find themselves stuck and no matter how they tried to escape they only found themselves returning to the same spot. A traumatic event repeats itself in various ways or abandonment or isolation or recklessness. Once you find these bogs, you can help the client pull themselves out.
But first, she had to let Alexandra finish her story.
Lux: :: nods :: And this resulted in Kona leaving with Cassandra, your daughter?
Lori listened intently to the officer some more. Alexandra reached across and took one of the glass bottles. Lori smiled and allowed her the moment. She found it interesting that Alexandra chose the same bottle that she remarked upon when she had entered - regaining control or allowing her in? She wasn't quite sure. If she had been Betazoid perhaps she would have been able to sense that.
Storm: When finally came out and told me that he was considering leaving, I took a few days. I spoke with my counselor on the Scimitar, and finally, I asked him if we could try counseling together. I didn’t want to destroy my marriage, but I also didn’t feel satisfied in it. I hoped that by going to counseling together, maybe we could find a way to work things out. Maybe we could both find … at least a little happiness.
Lux: Where does that leave you now?
The Betazoid woman didn't hesitate, with the confidence she had quickly become accustomed to with this woman yet her eyes remained fixed on the water.
Storm: Alone. ::Alex took a moment to consider the question more deeply.:: Worried for Cassie’s safety. Wanting to find out if we both had compromised better, could we have … not just made-the-marriage-work … but I find myself wondering if we could have found our way to a good marriage.
Then she raised her head and met her eyes. Lori held them.
Lux: That's not unusual for arranged marriages to have this conflict. There's an extra layer that other types of marriages don't often have. You're both discovering yourselves, and then you have to discover yourselves in this relationship. On top of that you mentioned that you had Cassie to bring you both ‘closer’ :: leans forward :: It's a lot of pressure for you? If I could present to you a solution with the click of your fingers, how do you think you could get yourself out of this corner?
Storm: I’m conflicted and confused about what’s next. Do I let him go? Should I let him go? ::Looking the counselor directly in the eyes:: Legally, he kidnapped our daughter. Should I do everything in my power to bring him to justice? ::Breaking eye contact, Alex looked back into the glass in her hands.:: I’m a black and white person, Counselor. I don’t like these unanswered questions. I don’t like being unsure of the best course of action.
Lori held her space. The kidnapping had not been included in the file at all. As a counsellor she was legally obliged to report a serious crime however she was eager to establish details. This could be a quirk of language rather than a child's kidnap. She would have to tread carefully.
Lux: Well you've come here to help to answer some of those questions. That's taking action :: she smiles kindly :: It might not be as fun as firing a phaser but it can be just as effective.
She allowed herself a gentle chuckle. Just therapist jokes.
Storm: ::Softly, looking only down through the cup to the floor.:: What I really want is to see my daughter, to make sure that she’s safe, to make sure that she’s happy, and cared for…
Lux: :: nods :: You love her very much, I can tell. It causes you great pain to be separated from her. If you are willing, I'd like to discuss the kidnapping, as you call it, some more?
Lori knew they were delving into deeper waters than she normally would dare in a first session. Acutely aware that they had a potential child in danger?
Storm: Response
Lux: You are conflicted about what may be best for Cassie? I can't help but be reminded of what you said earlier about having to give up your independence when you married Kona and then fighting to keep your career? That sense of being cornered - as you put it.
Storm: Response
Lori nodded along with Alexandra.
Lux: And when Kona takes your daughter - essentially forcing you to give her up? Something else that's been taken from you? But ironically allows you the freedom to step out of one particular corner and pursue your career?
Lori held the space, she looked forward and waited for Alexandra to respond. This was a hinge point in the therapy when you present an observation they may not be comfortable for the client.
Storm: Response
Tags/TBC
Lt Commander Lori Lux
First Officer
USS Artemis-A
A240004LL2