Lieutenant JG Ollie Bergmen - Please, leave your underwear on
CPT Arianus
(( Auditorium - Operations Center, Deck 5, USS Artemis-A ))
Bergmen: So, as our time for this lecture is running out, any last questions?
Bergmen hoped no more questions would come, allowing him to conclude the lecture, but he was gravely mistaken.
Tho'Bi: ::deadpan:: Can we walk around naked?
A sharp smack echoed through the auditorium, and Ollie spun around to face Cole, who was shaking her head in disbelief with her palm pressed firmly against her forehead at the absurdity of that ridiculous question.
Cole: ::to Tho’Bi:: You can certainly try. ::mouths:: please don’t.
Imril: I meant no judgment, offered no cultural criticism. I only brought it up so people who weren't expecting nudity wouldn’t be surprised. ::Looking to Bergmen:: And avoid getting into any trouble over an unfortunate reaction.
Bergmen's glance at Tho'Bi clearly suggested that, in his humble opinion, the OPS JG did not think this was the most appropriate idea for representing Starfleet during official (or unofficial, for that matter) shoreleave.
Tho’Bi: ::deadpan:: ….so that's a no.
Bergmen strongly nodded.
Jaran: Would you want to? It seems like an emblem of submission to me.
Cole: I think it’s different for each culture.
Imril: Maybe it's being reclaimed here as an act of empowerment?
Ollie sighed. The more they talked about it, the closer they came to making up their minds, and if one of them was going to walk naked as a jaybird down on Ferenginar, he could bid that other full pip farewell.
Bergmen: I don’t ever believe I need to state this loudly, but here we are. Please, leave your underwear on. Thank you. ::sighs:: Next question?
And it was Tho'Bi, of course, whose hand shot up. Bergmen stared at him for a moment, mentally counting the steps from the Captain's Ready Room to the nearest airlock. When he arrived at the correct number in his mind, he slowly motioned for the engineer to ask.
Tho'Bi: ::puts his hand up:: How would you describe the weather? Drizzle? Downpour? Light Shower? Heavy Shower?
oO Ok, airlock inspection postponed… Oo
Bergmen smiled and let the discussion flow.
Jaran: Obligatory "one hundred and seventy-eight words for rain" comment here. I'd say it's probably all of those.
Cole: Sounds like some areas on earth where it rains more than often then it’s sunny.
Imril: ::nods:: Seattle. The Space Needle’s name is false advertising, if anyone thinks that only Ferengi rip people off.
Bergmen: Ferenginar has only one month which could be described as drizzle, sometimes no rain at all. And then half a year, which you would describe as “heavy rainfall, high humidity, please, let me leave”, as there could be potential disruptions to travel due to weather. ::pauses:: For the current weather forecast on the planet, you can consult the Science Division, deck nine… (beat) Or simply look out of the window on our port; the choice is yours.
Bergmen grinned, proud of how well he bobbed and weaved around a topic he knew nothing about.
Bergmen: Next question?
Cole: What are you planning to do on Ferenginar, if we can ask?
Ollie's face went blank, his skin went pale. He averted his gaze and fell silent. He quietly approached the table, leaned on it so his legs wouldn't give out, and glanced back at the auditorium.
Bergman: I… ::falls silent again for a moment to collect himself:: I… I’m not going to visit Ferenginar. To be true, I’m leaving tomorrow. Temporary transfer for another duty assignment. ::pauses:: So, no, I cannot share anything that would catch my eye. Sorry.
Bergmen pressed his lips together and gave a nod to the audience.
Bergmen: Anyone want to share their plans?
Tho'Bi/Jaran: Response
Cole: I’m considering visiting the Ferengi Center for Forged Arts and the Dominion War Memorial.
Imril looked lost in thought. They said nothing. Shared nothing. Offered no words.
Ollie studied their face, trying to decipher the look on their face. Did they know where Ollie was headed? Was that why?
Tho'Bi/Jaran: Response
Cole: I’m not opposed to shopping, I might meet up with you, if that’s ok.
Imril: The Ferengi Heritage Conglomerate puts on regular historical recreations of famous ancient trade caravans. Absolute tourist fare, probably, but I think I might go on one. Part of one.
He paid no attention to what was being said. But when Imril spoke again, their voice waking Ollie from his reverie. He looked at the audience, nodded, and tried to smile.
Bergman: That’s a great ideas, everyone! I wanna hear more!
He almost convinced himself that he was hearing whatever ideas they were saying...
Tho'Bi/Jaran/Cole: Response
Imril: Is anyone looking forward to seeing what kind of entertainments they put on? I’ve heard stories about people who came to visit Fernginar and never managed to leave their hotels because the streaming shows are so addictive.
oO Yeah, Ferengi TV series... Did I mention warning them before? Oo
Bergmen stood up from the table and walked toward the front row of the auditorium.
Bergman: Yeah, Ferengi TV shows. Mostly buddy cop dramas, and shallow workplace sitcoms, so if you like them, be my guest.
Tho'Bi/Jaran/Cole: Response
Bergmen didn't seem to share the same level of enthusiasm.
Bergman: Just be warned - there is an overabundance of deceptive advertising and product placement, plus, in the hostels for inexperienced travellers, for their rooms holovision, that instrument can scan your consciousness and produce custom-made shows and advertising specifically designed to keep you watching, okay? So, be careful. No staying in these cheap hotels, right? We won't drag you out if you get addicted. ::pauses:: Do we have a mutual understanding?
Tho'Bi/Jaran/Cole/Imril: Response
Bergmen: Ok, so… Are you ready to go? Full of information, pumped to see all that Ferenginar can offer?
Tho'Bi/Jaran/Cole/Imril: Response
TAG/TBC
–
Lieutenant JG Ollie Bergmen
Operations Officer
U.S.S. Artemis-A
A240009JC1