Lt. Silveira: The violent prospect.

[btv....@sapo.pt]

((USS Artemis, deck  7, Counselor’s Office))

His joking aside, Jashkaa went straight for serious business and got to his weak spot.

He asked Vitor to tell her about Jo. This was the part he dreaded, but if he was to make this work and get her help he knew he had to be honest and serious about it.

And so he was.

Vitor played with the glass in his hand for a second, as he tried to formulate a reply.

He set it down, straightened himself on the seat and looked at Jashkaa.

He blinked and took a deep breath before replying.

Silveira: And tear everything apart, just to try and ease the pain, guilt and anger. Just set this universe on fire, everything, everyone.

And the next. And all universes in between hers and mine.

Vitor stared back at the glass, breaking contact with Jashkaa.

Silveira: This might not be exactly what you meant, but it certainly isn't on file. Talking about Jo makes me realise that I will never have the chance to truly know who she was.

And that brings up a lot of boiling emotions that I am still trying to navigate.

Jashkaa: Boiling emotions? Do you mean anger, sadness, or something else?

Vitor nodded.

Silveira: All of them. Guilt as well.

Jashkaa pursed her lips and looked at him before replying.

Jashka: And why do you not want to feel those emotions, what are you worried might happen?

Vitor lowered his eyes.

Silveira: I had problems before with controlling my emotions. You can see what I did in the Excalibur, and in the Resolution when I let my emotions take the better of me. This time…

He closed his eyes, taking another breath.

Silveira: In our last mission, when we were on the surface of Betazed we were being stalked by a Jem’haddar. I ended up confronting him, we fought and I almost killed him.

Jashkaa: Response

Vitor shook his head and hands.

Silveira: No… It wasn't like that. I managed to knock him out. As he was lying there…

I had him at my feet and almost… I was about to smash his skull…

Jashkaa: Response

Vitor leaned back, he closed his eyes and rubbed his neck before leaning forward.

Silveira: The thing is, I shouldn’t be thinking like that. Not only am I a Starfleet Officer I am a department head. I of all people have a responsibility when it comes to violent use of force. ::He took a deep breath.:: You know that there is one thing I secretly pride myself off. In all the years of service I only have one confirmed kill. An Iconian that was threatening our away team back in the Columbia. I was given the order to fire, didn’t hesitate and did my job.

But I almost killed someone who was defenceless at my feet.

Jashkaa: Response

TAG/TBC

Lt. Vitor S. Silveira

Chief Tactical Officer

USS Artemis-A, NCC-81287

O238907VS0