JP: Ensign Tho’Bi & Fleet Captain Addison MacKenzie - What We Can Do

[Tobi]

((INTENSIVE CARE UNIT, SICKBAY - DECK SEVEN, USS ARTEMIS-A))

It was late. The steady thud of a trio of heartbeat monitors pulsed in the low lit ambience of the all but deserted Sickbay. A scattered handful of workstations created bright pools of white light in the otherwise dimly lit expanse of elevated patient beds and precisely illuminated medical consoles.   

All but three of the patient beds were now unoccupied, a silver bed cover fixed neatly upon them that glistened in the dull light.

The occupied beds were stationed in a quiet corner, each set in their own cone of warm light, each with their own set of bio-monitors and support systems. A light electric blue haze surrounded the beds. Cast from emitters housed in the ceiling, the shimmering haze bubbled and fizzed as it neutralised contaminants.

Off to one side, a tall, lean figure, dressed in the black and gold of Engineering, was hunched over a workstation. Nestled between the blue of his finger and thumb, a sonic driver was making adjustments to a Dermal Regenerator. The Andorian's antennae twitched as an Engineering Tricorder guided the careful series of fine calibrations, increment by increment.

MacKenzie didn’t make it a point to visit Starfleet medical facilities very often - especially not the ones on the Artemis, unless it was directly duty related - as such spaces stopped becoming her office years ago. But, as a commanding officer, she felt a personal responsibility for those who occupied the beds here, regardless of how long or short their stay. On occasion, the redheaded CO had been known to wander the halls in the middle of the night when unable to sleep, occasionally spotted by the gamma shift nurses when stopping in to check on the status of wounded officers. 

So engrossed in his work, the young Ensign failed to notice his commanding officer. Her left eyebrow arched, surprised to see another non-medical officer in the space at such a late hour.

MacKenzie: Ensign Tho’Bi, what are you doing? 

There is an experience of concentration that is difficult to put into words for those only possessing five sensors. In much the same way a human does not alternate between sight and sound, an Andorian does not sense with their antennae and then see with their eyes, their perception is one and indivisible.   

Through the clicks of refinement, through the final degrees of calibration, a muffled, distance noise warped into a clear and identifiable voice. The voice of the young Andorian’s Captain. He jolted to attention.

Tho'Bi: Calibrating a Dermal Regenerator, Captain. 

She blinked, her brow slightly furrowed in confusion.

MacKenzie: …now?

Tho’Bi: Yes, Captain. Andorians do not require much sleep.

She lowered her voice.

MacKenzie: And you decided now was an appropriate time to…?

The Ensign glanced around the dimly lit Sickbay. His gaze arrived at the three bed-stricken crewmen and became stuck, unable to break away from the induced coma, bodies ravaged by plasma burns, and the gradual regeneration of skin.  

Tho'Bi: ::quieter:: I was… having trouble with the…

The caustic bite of blown out conduit and relay filled his nostrils, though his antennae told him it was not there.

Tho'Bi: ::dry swallow:: with so many casualties… with the Orion attack… with my decision to transfer power to the Deflector Array ::sharp inhale: and away from the Inertial Dampeners. 

MacKenzie: …not an easy decision to make.

The Andorian Ensign's gaze broke away from the trio of injured crewmen. The caustic bite left his nostrils. His eyes brightened a little and his gaze met the Captain’s.

Tho’Bi: ::deliberate:: I find it helps to be here. To be doing something (beat) useful.

MacKenzie: To busy oneself?

Tho’Bi: Yes, Captain. 

Her gaze softened slightly as her eyes shifted from those lying on the biobeds back to the engineer who seemed to be searching for meaning.

MacKenzie: You can’t let every decision you make weigh on you. They know the job, just as you know the job… And you made the best decision you could.

He had since the attack carried an absence, torn through the very heart of him. A sense of not knowing how he could ever return to the person he was before. Upon hearing the Captain's words, he felt some measure of relief, and yet the absence remained.

Tho’Bi: Thank you, Captain.

She tried to offer an empathetic smile.

MacKenzie: You’re going to have to find a better way to process what you’re feeling. Calibrating dermal regenerators at 3 in the morning isn’t the answer. And it isn’t healthy, take it from me.

The Dermal Regenerator, stripped of its outer-casing and awaiting calibration, lay on its side upon the smooth dark surface of the workstation. An instrument of specific purpose, presently unable to perform that purpose. 

Tho’Bi: ::slow deliberate:: I understand I need to know how to ::tilts head:: deal with it. I just… I… ::tilts head other way:: I just don't want… to ever be okay with it. 

She offered him a sympathetic look.

MacKenzie: I mean, I’d hope not… Then we’d need to have a different conversation. 

Tho'Bi: ::looks at the three biobeds:: I never want it to not matter.  

MacKenzie: To not matter?

The shimmering electric blue haze popped and shuddered slightly as an unseen wisp of microscopic contaminants collided with it and was neutralised. 

Tho’Bi: I don't want to…. to become numb to it ::looks at MacKenzie::

Her eyes lowered slightly.

MacKenzie: Ensign, have you had a chance to speak with a counselor about all this?

The Dermal Regenerator felt solid in his hand, reassuring. The calibration was performed in precise increments, applied by gentle nudges with the Sonic Driver, and confirmed by Tricorder. He had sat down and started to work on it again, without realising he was doing so.

Some moments had passed since Captain MacKenzie had asked her question.

Tho’Bi: ::looking up:: No… counselling is a difficult concept for Andorians. We do not tend to speak freely outside of our bonded few. 

She watched him continue to tinker with the device.

MacKenzie: Is this the first time you’ve encountered crew members who have been injured because of a decision you’ve made?

He thought back to the chaos of The Kobayashi Maru. The closest the Academy had to offer was not very close, not very close at all.

Tho’Bi: ::quiet:: No… no, nothing like this.

MacKenzie shrugged nonchalantly, but not dismissively. As a surgeon and commanding officer, she had no choice but to deal with how to segment loss. 

MacKenzie: You have to learn how to process what you’re experiencing. I’d like to suggest you speak with Commander Lux…

Andorians did not do this, but what was that to him? A once-visited moon that had rejected him. Branded him outcast. And yet, that distant ice moon cast such a long shadow upon him.

The Dermal Regenerator chirped in his hand. The long protracted high frequency tone meant that the calibration was complete. He slotted the outer-casing back on with a click.  

Tho’Bi: ::looking up:: Perhaps I could with some calibration myself. ::stands up to attention:: Aye, aye, Captain. ::beat:: And, thank you.

End Scene

————————————

Ensign Tho’Bi

Engineering

USS Artemis-A

A240203T11

and 

Fleet Captain Addison MacKenzie, M.D., Ph.D., FASFS

Commanding Officer

USS Artemis-A

Captains Council Member at Large

V239601AM0