LtJG Jovenan – Hurt inside
Jovenan
((Turbolift, USS Artemis))
Seeing Hiro come visit her at work was not a unique event, but it was still a minor surprise, a pleasant one. Seeing him do so in a support chair, apparently right after being released from the sickbay when she thought he was still recovering from major surgery? Jovenan was nearly stunned.
She kept glancing at him and the support chair as they boarded the turbolift on Deck 9, nearest to the lab where he had surprised her. Her mind was filled with questions, about his condition, his feelings, his recovery and future, but she didn’t know how to begin, and whether anything she could say was even polite. But more than being curious, she was relieved that he was alive and not injured more than he was. But right now, she also felt guilty. Guilty that it was him who had to come to her and not vice versa.
Jovenan: Hiro, I- I’m sorry I couldn’t come see you any earlier. I tried, but I was told that you were still in a surgery, and then you were resting, and other things kept happening…
Jones: Hey, sis, it's absolutely fine. There was ... a lot to do. Goodness knows it. I'm proud of how you've risen to the challenges of your role. Besides, I'm more or less out of sickbay now, so it's back to life as normal, right?
She tried smiling, but she also pressed her lips tightly together. He was out of sickbay and might return to his duties and other activities soon, but she wasn’t sure if she could call any of it “normal”. Having to use a support chair, even if temporarily, was not a small matter, yet of the two of them, it was Hiro who seemed to mind it less.
Jovenan: But how are you? Are you feeling fine? I was so worried when I heard what had happened!
Jones: Honestly? I'm amazing. I experienced something while I was ... out. Something that feels like it stripped something from me. Does that make sense?
Jovenan nodded at first, but then stopped to think.
Jovenan: I, uh… I’m not sure if I understand.
Jones: I guess the best way to describe it is I feel like I left something behind. Like walking through a waterfall and coming through a bit battered but cleaner. ::beat:: I don't really know how else to describe it, but the point is: I feel more in control of my own life than I think I ever have.
Jovenan didn’t fully understand what he had experienced, but it appeared to be important to him. Life-changing, even. Serious injuries and near-death experiences could be and often are traumatic to people, yet to Hiro, it had been something empowering. It was… weird, but at the same time, not really. Jovenan felt bad for being so selfish that she was making it a big, painful thing because of how much it had hurt her. She just nodded, staring emptily at nothing in mid-distance.
((Elysium, Deck 6, USS Artemis))
The turbolift stopped at its destination, and the two left it for the Elysium. Although it was not particularly late yet, with diverse cultural habits and shift rotations aboard, they found some people enjoying their meals and drinks as they arrived. Regardless, they could easily find themselves a table. Hiro moved a chair aside before Jovenan could come and help him. She wanted to care for him, even if it was something as minor as moving a chair, but he didn’t seem to even need help. She didn’t want that he would need to struggle with anything, but she also feared that her involvement might tip to the side of smothering.
After ordering, they had proper time to discuss.
Jones: I heard what happened to the ... er ... other Jovenan. Had you gotten much chance to know her?
Jovenan was slightly surprised Hiro wanted to talk about her and her sister. Her full attention had been to him and his wellbeing, but considering how was taking it, it made sense he might want to talk about other topics as well. After all, he had missed a lot.
Jovenan: Oh, um… ::sigh:: Not well. She came to talk with me the day before, and we… We didn’t get along at first. She asked for my help for the fight in their universe, but when I didn’t agree to do that, she blamed me of abandoning our, um, the Edo ways. When the attack started, I thought she was behind it. Even when she warned us, me, personally, I thought it must be a trick.
Jones: Response
Jovenan: Then I learnt the truth. About the warning, her betraying the Desdemonans, the… thing with Silveira. She was essentially a sister to me, even if I didn’t know it.
Jones: Response
The conversation had to pause for a moment as their orders were brought to their table. Jovenan accepted her bowl of vegetarian Caesar salad before the waiter brought Hiro’s meal to him. She looked at the salad, poking it a few times before they would resume.
Jovenan: I- I have cried several nights. About my sister. About the scientist who also died in the attack. ::looks into his eyes:: About you, brother. I thought I would lose you.
Jones: Response
TAG/TBC
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Lieutenant JG Jovenan
Assistant Chief Science Officer
USS Artemis-A
E239911J11