Lt JG Imril - Inelegant Blubbering (Or Something Approaching It)

[Chris Taylor]

(( Elysium, Deck 6 - USS Artemis ))

(OOC: starting this post after the letters because that’s a lot of text that I don’t need to break up for Imril’s responses)

Orion… Thadia… Warp-lag… Exhaustion… Uncertainty… Hurt…

Imril tapped through the letters, and at the end was just as confused as when they had started reading. It was clear that Ollie had had a years-old falling out with someone and was afraid to have that happen with them, too. Just as clear that Ollie had been through something profound on his journey, but there the words failed him. What was it?

Imril: I’m sorry, but I think I’m missing the meaning here.

Ollie turned his gaze away from the question. Still looking for the words that they had tried to find in an electric screen?

Bergmen: Imril, I… (beat) Just… ::sighs:: You are so kind and smart and I… ::glances into Imril’s eyes:: You know. You make me smile, Imril. And… (beat) I like having you around.

Imril: Oh?

. . .

Oh!

Imril straightened up immediately, jolted by the shock of understanding.

Imril: ::blushing:: I… Uh… Ollie… Where have you been?! What brought -- What got you thinking in this direction?

Bergman: response.

Imril’s posture slumped in empathy. They leaned forward over the table. Closer towards him. They might have offered a hand in sympathy, to close the remaining distance, but… Suddenly that felt… Like a promise that they couldn’t make. At least, not yet.

Imril: ::nodding in sympathy:: Ah. My condolences. 

Of course, those were largely empty words to one who was grieving. Ones Ollie had likely heard already, many a time by this point. And over someone Ollie had been distanced from for quite some time, according to the letters.

Imril: Seventeen years. I’ve really only known one person for that long. I don't know what it would do to me to lose them.

Bergman: response.

Imril had yet to touch the raktajino. They weren’t sure what drinking it might signal to the one who had gifted it. They weren’t sure what it would signal for themself. 

Imril: Is it possible that your grief is… That you’re reaching out for a deeper connection with someone to get away from it? Over-reaching?

Bergman: response.

The answer touched closer to home than Imril had expected it could. There had been someone in Imril’s past that, if things had gone another way, might very well have been sitting right there beside them. Or sending letters of their own from some other starship. 

They’d become friends at the academy, good friends, but never quit something more. By their senior year, questions hovered between them that weren’t being asked by either party. There was always a reason not to, to just go on being friends and not risk losing that. Always another day to figure it out. Another day to wait for the other to say something first and end the mystery. And another day, and another. 

And then Frontier Day, and no more days. No more chances.

No more Khuben.

Imril: I just want to be sure that saying this for the wrong reasons. That you haven’ worked yourself up into something that isn’t really there.

Bergman: response.

There was no denying Ollie’s sincerity. He very likely had thought it through.

Now, Imril needed to do the same.

Was there a possibility here? Was there not? Did they want to find out, and risk losing a friend because they were over-reaching? Because maybe they didn’t want to miss an opportunity for something deeper which had just presented itself on an admittedly handsome-looking platter. Someone who’d already more than shown himself to be a good friend. Maybe there could be something here...

Or did they feel caught out by the way Ollie had started this talk, that brief flash of captivity, and were looking for a way out of it? 

They simply didn’t know. Right then and there, they didn’t know anything at all.

Imril: ::Sitting back up:: I think maybe… Give me some time to think about this, huh? Some space? ::wince:: A funny thing to ask for on a spaceship, I know. But maybe we could both use it. I’m sorry, but I just don't have an answer for you right now.

Bergman: response.

TAG/TBC

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Lieutenant JG Imril

Engineering Officer

USS Artemis-A

A240110I12