Lt Alex Storm - Trust the Process
Karen Morris
((Counsellor's Office - Counselling Suites - Deck 7 - USS Artemis-A))
Alex sat there for a moment trying to make sense of all of the conflicting thoughts and feelings. Her genuine frustration - and often - downright anger at Kona, while at the same time wanting to find a way to make the marriage work. Then she would think about how she didn’t want to allow him to dismiss her so easily with a piece of paper and not even the courtesy of an in person goodbye. And the fact that she hadn’t been able to hold her daughter for so long, so sing her a lullaby or to read her a bedtime story. This part of her life felt like a big ball of tangled yarn, and she was incapable of untangling it alone. But at the moment, she felt like she and Lux weren’t working together on it but working against each other. It was too much for her to process in the moment. She would try to untangle it later. Maybe, she’d go climbing later. She seemed to see things more clearly when she was fifty foot up a rockface with sweat dripping into her face and down her back.
Storm: I don’t hate Kona, Counselor…but it’s hard not to fear - not him, he never raised a hand to me, but what he has done … or what he could still do to spoil, what should be, a wonderful part my life.
Lux: That does tie in with what you said earlier. That feeling you expressed in a lack of choice? Particularly in your marriage which you described almost like you had been trapped. No wonder you feel this way.
Storm: I would give anything for this debacle to be over. I’m so weary of it.
Lux: We're coming to the end of this session now. I'd like you to consider a reach out to the JAG office services on DS224 before shore leave ends and ensure that you have your legal requirements covered for when you make contact with Kona.
Alex’s mouth hung open for a moment. It had taken her so long to feel like she had a genuine connection with her last counselor. She knw that words could be misunderstood or misconstrued. She had merely been talking about the situation with Kona - not with the counseling session.
Once again she took a breath, told herself that she was here to get help and getting frustrated or acting defensively wouldn’t help the situation at all. Items would be forgotten or missed things would be misunderstood - until they weren’t. If she continued meeting with Lux, hopefully they would be able to build - if not a camaraderie - at least an understanding.
Storm: I can, and will, do that, Counselor.
Lux: It was nice to meet you, Alexandra.
She was being dismissed - maybe in more ways than one. Alex rose with all the dignity she could muster. Something had the hair across the back of her neck prickling slightly. oO Deep breath, trust the process, it’s just your first session. Oo
Storm: I appreciate the time you took to meet with me, Counselor.
Lux: I'll send you an appointment for a follow up session.
Storm: I’ll be waiting for it.
Alex turned to leave. And when the door closed behind her, she walked down the hallway waiting for the turbolift. When it opened, it was mercifully empty.
Storm: Deck five.
Once the doors closed, she leaned againt the wall banging her head lightly against the turbolift’s bulkhead. She had left the room feeling like someone had let the helium out of her balloon. It’s easy to tell yourself to trust the process, but the problem occurs when you just flat out don’t trust the process that you’re telling yourself to trust in. But she had grown to trust Lieutenant Morales and the Lieutenant believed that this move would be the best thing for Alex. If nothing else, she could trust in that.
oO One foot in front of the other, Alex. And you’re not going to replay this in your mind over and over ten times today. Oo The Betazoid chided herself, but her subconscious had to butt in with, oO Nope, she’ll replay it at least 100 times today. Oo. Unfortunately, her subconscious was probably the more right of the two.
~*~
Fin
~*~
Lt Alex Storm
Tactical Officer
USS Artemis
O240103SK2