LtJG Jovenan – From shadows to sunshine
Jovenan
((Science Centre, Deck 9, USS Artemis))
Jovenan exhaled slowly.
It was difficult to put thoughts into words. Sometimes, she wondered if she had been more social in her past, it might have come easier for her. It was only on the ships when she was truly forced out of her personal, isolated sphere and changed as a person. It was easier within that sphere, but at times like these, she couldn’t go back into it and let the outside world do its biddings on its own. She couldn’t delegate her responsibilities as a colleague, and, perhaps eventually, a friend.
Jovenan: I meant to say that it’s difficult to become a good person. Ares either didn’t have a chance to become one, or he chose not to. It’s the life experiences that shape us. Ares might have shared your genetics and some details of his life, but everything else was different. He was not you.
She lowered her eyes to the floor for a moment. That’s where the bottom of her sphere would have been. But it wasn’t this time. She raised her eyes back to Dakora.
Jovenan: What I mean… You’ll never be like him because you already are a good person, Talos.
Dakora shrugged and tried smiling.
Dakora: I know I’m far from perfect, but I always try to do more good than ill. That has to count for something, right?
Jovenan walked next to him and turned to face the same empty wall opposite to him, leaning back against the same worktop as he was. They weren’t talking about his counterpart from the other universe, Ares, if he ever had been their topic. They were talking about Talos, and despite the limited number of times they had met other than to discuss work, her relation to him had evolved, and she wanted him to know it.
Jovenan: I mean it. When I first joined the Excalibur, I was terrified of everyone. You in particular. I didn’t know you or what you do, and to me you seemed like a secretive, tough spy who could read my thoughts. But over time, I’ve got to know you more, and I’m not scared of you anymore. ::looks at him:: When I said you’re a good person, I meant it.
When she turned to look at him, she noticed him smiling at the opposite wall. Of the two of them, he was the empath, but Jovenan hoped he had a genuine feeling behind the expression.
Dakora: I appreciate that. ::His smile broadened as he looked in her direction.:: I really do.
She joined him in smiling and nodded.
Dakora: You, of course, have been a positive ray of sunshine the entire time I’ve known you. ::He placed a hand on her on her shoulder and chuckled.:: Though, I’m embarrassed to admit that I was a little worried you and I might not get along because I like to occasionally play a bit fast-and-loose with the rules. ::He waved his other hand dismissively.:: Figured you'd soon be calling for my execution or something ridiculous like that.
“A positive ray of sunshine”
She wasn’t sure if she had earned that description. For a large part of the year she had now served in this crew, she had been too shy to talk to anyone. At times, she had feared her reservedness came across as rude, insensitive and cold. The last time Jovenan had talked with Dakora on a shoreleave, he had left the café because of how awkward the conversation had begun after her refusal to open up more to him.
But, it seemed, she hadn’t driven him away quite yet. The hand on her shoulder didn’t remind her of the unpleasant encounters after leaving her homeworld, no, it reminded her of the hugs she had received from her new friends. It made her feel… less isolated.
Then there was the matter of an execution. It was… probably a joke. She decided not to ponder it too much at that time.
Jovenan: I would never suggest anything like that… But I have to admit, there have been times when I have thought you would have been executed on my homeworld for something you’ve done. I might not always have been as flexible as Commodore Nicholotti or Captain MacKenzie have been.
Dakora let out a subdued laughter, to which Jovenan joined with a smile.
Dakora: I’ll have to keep that in mind next time.
He stepped up and took a few steps away from the worktop they had been leaning against. Jovenan remained still for a few seconds longer but placed her full weight against her legs once again after a while.
Dakora: Well, I guess should let you get back to work. I know we all have a lot to get done before we can enjoy shore leave. ::Beat.:: Thanks for the talk. I don’t have a lot of… you know… people to open up to. So, thank you.
Jovenan smiled widely as she raised her hand to wave a goodbye to him.
Jovenan: And you helped me a lot as well, thank you. Enjoy the leave as well!
Dakora: I’ll see you later, Jovenan.
She waved as Dakora walked to the exit and left. As the doors swooshed and closed once again, separating her alone in the empty science area, she lowered her hand. Returning to her work, she took a PADD from the table she had left it earlier and reactivated its screen.
The mission had been difficult for them all, the emotional load was heavy on them, but if she could help just one of them leave it behind, she was happy. Dakora was a strong person, but even he had had a hard time dealing with the completely different character of his counterpart, and of those who he cared and respected, as well as witnessing the death of Jovenan’s counterpart.
Her sister.
Dakora had said she had been one of the few Desdemona crewmembers who knew good from bad. Ares had obviously been very different from Talos, as Jovenan had explained to him, but only now she was thinking of how different she was from her sister as well. For the fleeting moment she had known her, Mediator Jovenan had been outgoing, confident and open, totally opposite of her. In just a few days, she had even made… friends, or whatever Lt Silveira and she had been. What had been so different that they had lived lives so unalike?
And her sister wouldn’t have hesitated to say when her moral code was violated. An Edo mediator, she was the judge, jury and the executioner. At times, Jovenan had had difficulty in adapting to the offworlder ethics, but she took pride in knowing and following the Federation and Starfleet laws. Yet, her friends…
Her friends and colleagues were afraid of her. Dakora had been worried she might have been calling for his execution. After Hiro had been detained on Cait, he had been worried how she would react. She had taken it as not wanting to upset her, but now she wondered how much of it was fear of her strict morality. Did… Did they view her as just one of those people who would murder you for just stepping on the grass? She didn’t want anyone to be afraid of her, and she certainly wouldn’t hurt anyone… But it was also true.
She found herself staring at her own reflection on the black PADD screen. She had been so deep into her thoughts the device had turned off. Smiling a little, she switched it back on. She was definitely overthinking things. Talos had come to talk with her and had left smiling and, hopefully, less devastated by what had happened to them. She was the same.
“A positive ray of sunshine”. She quite liked it. She had made some great friends here, and maybe she just gained one more.
End scene
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Lieutenant JG Jovenan
Assistant Chief Science Officer
USS Artemis-A
E239911J11