[BACKSIM] JP - LT Gila Sadar and PNPC Kolya Aqila - Fear Keeps Us Focused on the Past

[LT Gila Sadar]

(( Primary Sickbay - Deck 7, USS Artemis-A ))

((( Flashback: SD240110.03 - Five days after Kolya’s Arrival on the Artemis-A )))

Gila was in an uncharacteristically good mood today. On Mizabet, the day where you first showed your family the location of your primary occupation was a momentous one, often accompanied by parents, grandparents and spouses. Obviously this day usually came at the very beginning of one’s employment, since it was a day to celebrate one’s entry into a new hierarchical unit, but due to Gila’s circumstances, today was the day.

Which was also slightly wrong, since Gila considered the Artemis-A in its entirety her place of occupation, and as such, Kolya’s first day at her job was five days ago, when he first boarded the Ship. But if she had to be completely honest, Sickbay was the truest representation of the Artemis-A where she had her daily routine. Sickbay was where she spent most of her time prior to Kolya joining her life aboard the vessel, and while she would likely spend far less time there than had been the norm previously, since she now had someone relying on her to maintain a normal work-life balance... 

Not for the first time since Kolya boarded, Gila realized what a massive change this would entail to her life.

Sadar: All right, so this is Sickbay. It’s where I work.

Aqila: :: slightly anxious:: Will it hurt, dona? What is it?

Sadar: W-Well, nothing too invasive. We just need to make sure that you’re healthy, and acclimatizing to being in space.

Aqila: Accimassing?

Gila smiled slightly, having a reassuring hand on Kolya’s back as she led him through Sickbay towards the first step on the itinerary. She led him towards one of the more secluded biobeds where she could do the scans in peace, and while Kolya let himself be led, he still hesitated slightly as they got closer. 

Sadar: It means ‘getting used to’. Life in space is very different to life on a planet, with artificial gravity and air quality. Not everyone gets used to it immediately, and I want to be sure we catch it in case you’re going to get sick while your body gets used to being here. ::claps the biobed to indicate Kolya should take a seat:: I’ll help you the first step of the way, but technically, I’m not supposed to be the one doing this. It’s not, uhh... ‘Proper’. But I’ll get someone I trust to do the rest of the test.

Kolya didn't like the sound of that. Doing something that isn't proper, meant that it was improper. Any Mizarian could tell you that and they would also tell you that that was to be avoided at all costs. 

Yet … 

… He really didn't want anyone else to do it. 

Aqila: No dona, I don't want to be :: beat :: improper :: looks to her :: but I want you to do it. 

Gila smiled gently at the nervous teenager, though her expression was still stern. Well, as stern as Gila ever was, probably. She wouldn’t be surprised if numerous of her colleagues were crossing off several marks on some secret bingo card. ‘Gila in a good mood’ and ‘Gila being stern’ had to be such rare occurrences, it was similar to a full moon in space.

Sadar: I’ll remain with you. Now, please lay down.

Kolya accepted his Dona's request and leaned back, he looked down at the bed he was resting on, realising it wasn’t a typical resting place.  

Aqila: :: accepting :: This isn't a normal bed?

Sadar: This is a ‘biobed’. It’s a medical bed that assists with medical diagnosis and treatment. Now, I’ll press a button, and a wide metal band is going to come out of the bed and form a half circle over your body. It won’t restrain you, but please, be as still as you can, okay? It’s going to do an xray scan.

Aqila: Will it hurt? 

Sadar: You won’t feel a thing. It’s just like the Doctor’s computers back home.

As the half circle encompassed him he took several surprised breaths. It was not a good sensation to be kept in place, he thought to himself. He was reminded of the colourful Doivar he’d seen at one of the bluefarms; they were kept in metal, cage-like baskets hung above their heads. Visitors would choose which one they liked and they’d - 

He didn’t want to think about that. He was about to tell his Dona that he’d like to stop now when the x ray appeared to end all on its own and returned to its hidden compartment to lay in wait for its next victim. 

Aqila: :: disgruntled at Gila :: I didn’t like that. 

Kolya felt a spike of irritation at his Dona for making him endure such an unpleasant experience and then immediately felt shame. It was also improper to feel irritated, especially towards your superior. So, he turned his attention towards his Dona’s own apparent improprieties.

Aqila: You said that it was improper for you to treat a relative? Then why are you doing the x-ray scan? Shouldn't you have gotten someone else?

Sadar: Oh, I... I just wanted to make sure the first one went well. One of my colleagues are coming in one moment. Let me just look at-

Gila wanted to finish her sentence. She wanted to assuage any fears Kolya might have that he had been party to improper conduct by not stopping her from seeing the treatment through, and she wanted to distract him from the need she had to see his x rays. But most of all, she was trying - and failing - to hide the torrents of emotions that passed through her face as she looked at Kolya’s scans.

Then looked again.

Then refreshed the image, just in case it hadn’t loaded properly, and looked at them again.

She felt like the ground beneath her feet fell away, her entire worldview shattering before her very eyes at the perfectly normal and ordinary x-ray in front of her. A perfectly ordinary Mizarian skull, elongated to the back, a hollow nape to allow for the nuchal folds to fall, pronounced ramial bones lining the outer wall of the skull... Empty ramial bones.... No abnormal bone growths... 

Kolya didn’t have them.

He wasn’t like her.

Aqila: Are you okay? :: panic :: Am I okay?

Gila opened her mouth a couple of times, trying to vocalize something, anything, but the memory of black bone twisting her mouth open to restrain the assimilated exosuit which attacked her during Frontier Day was so overwhelming, she had a hard time forming the words. ( LINK = https://groups.google.com/g/sb118-amity/c/NFBcFnJcuXw/m/jhEk4QLnAgAJ )

Kolya’s scans were clean.

She was the freak with violent bone appendages in her head, and her alone.

Alone.

Sadar: N-No Kolya, e-everything’s... E-Everything’s as... ::struggles:: Everything is as it should be. Look. ::shows scans:: P-Perfectly... Normal.

Aqila: :: suspicious :: Why are you speaking like that with me? You only speak like that to the aliens.

Gila didn’t have an answer for him. She had never told him what it had meant to her all these years to know that she wasn’t alone, to know that despite her family’s insistence to the opposite, she wasn’t a mistake or a failure, for if she was, that would mean Kolya was too, and nothing could be further from the truth. She couldn’t tell him that in those dark days where she hated herself with every fibre of her being, every day that she wished she wasn’t her but someone else, it had been the thought of him and his adoring eyes and his love for her that had managed to pull her back.

She could never tell him that. Because he wasn’t wrong. She was.

Jorgenson: Hello Doctor Sadar. You needed help?

Gila was shook out of her existential dread when Nurse Jorgenson approached them. She wanted to express all the affection she could muster to him for his timely intervention, but she also knew that such an action would make it even more blatantly obvious that she wasn’t in her right mind.

Instead, she needed to find a way to withdraw. To collect herself. To pretend that everything was as it should be.

That she was as she should be.

Sadar: Oh... Y-Yes... Kolya, this is Nurse Jorgenson, a colleague of mine. L-Like I told you before, I’ll stay with you, but Nurse Jorgenson will be doing the tests from here on out. ::to Jorgenson:: I just... I did the X-ray. Everything’s as it should be, standard Mizarian teenage male.

Her words sounded unusually hollow to her, but Nurse Jorgenson didn’t seem to realize, as he instead turned his dark eyes to Kolya, a welcoming smile on his face.

Jorgenson: Very well. ::to Kolya:: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kolya. I’m Nurse Jorgenson. Are we ready to get these tests done?

His attention, now squarely focused on the alien man, he assumed was human. Most of the Starfleet aliens were human, or so he read. Which was nothing but a disappointment to Kolya. He’d found nothing of interest in the entire history of the species when he’d done research. Languages were dull, music was simple and repetitive and its history was brutal beyond any justification. He had no interest in humans. 

It was a shame, he wasn’t a Betazoid. If he was a Betazoid he could have asked him for his opinions on a whole host of subjects; post-war fashion, architectural influences throughout the federation, Betazoid diplomacy or customs. 

Then again…

Aqila: :: curious :: What species are you?

… It was very possible that he could be some kind of hybrid Betazoid. 

Jorgenson: I’m a Human.

Aqila: :: frets :: Oh … I suppose everyone has to be something. 

Sadar: ::warning tone:: Kolya, do not be rude. ::to Jorgenson:: Th-Thank you, Nurse Jorgenson. Please, get started with the rest of the tests. I... I will join you once I’ve logged the scans.

The middle-aged human looked at her, a neutral expression on his face, though Gila had worked with him enough times that she felt certain he was able to see through her. But if there was one thing she had come to appreciate about the Human Nurse in their time serving together, it was his discretion, with patients as well as doctors.

Jorgenson: Hmm... As you say, Doctor. ::to Kolya:: Please, Student Aqila, remain seated. I’ll be setting up for the next tests.

Sadar: It won’t be a minute... I promise.

Gila offered a comforting smile to Kolya, hoping that it looked even slightly convincing, befor VC e she turned her back to him and wandered towards one of the consoles lining the wall. But she didn’t feel the soles of her feet connect with the floor, and she didn’t hear the hustle and bustle of a busy Sickbay... All she heard was her own panic screaming at the walls of her brain and being echoed back at her, the color of black bone.

oO What... Am I? Oo

To be Continued...

LT Gila Sadar

Medical Officer

USS Artemis-A

A240006GS1

&

Kolya Aqila

Remote Art Student

USS Artemis-A

As simmed by

Lieutenant Vailani Zoyara

Chief of Operations

USS Artemis-A

A240004LL1