LtCmdr Jovenan – I just don’t know how to do this right
Jovenan
((Jovenan’s quarters, Deck 3, USS Artemis))
Vitor was the nicest, most considerate and generous person Jovenan had ever known. She might have been somewhat biased to say that as a fact, but her boyfriend wouldn’t stop making her feel loved. One or two shoreleaves ago, she had promised that she would finally surprise him with something, like he kept doing to her. Planning a surprise had turned out to be difficult, seeing that she wanted it to be as perfect as anything he had done to her. Now, she had an opening for something that had been in her mind, not the most elaborate surprise, but still something she wanted to do with him.
Jovenan: I have a place in mind. It’s, uh… You’ve introduced me to things that you like, like cooking and the arcade. I don’t really have any hobbies that would give me something to show for you, but there’s this one place on the ship that I wanted to take you.
He smiled and squeezed her hands.
Silveira: Sounds perfect.
Jovenan: Let me first check if it’s even available now, okay?
Silveira: Of course.
Smiling at him, Jovenan released her hold of his hands and walked away, around the desk and to the computer console there. After a quick glimpse at the pair of dolls with their characteristics, she opened up the uplink to the Science Centre functions. The location in her mind, the Astrometrics, had no upcoming reservations until tomorrow, so she marked it for her use for the next few hours. She considered leaving it at that, but then thought that the surprise might be more effective if she didn’t need to start it off with silently tweaking the settings while he waited on the side. Activating the holographic display, she chose that they’d be first met by the view of their current location. She also activated the low-gravity mode, creating a bubble over the main platform. A smile rose to her face; she could already imagine them in each other’s arms, gently floating past stars, nebulae and other of the universe’s most beautiful things. She left the console and walked back to him.
Jovenan: We can go there. Would you want to come? It’s not much, but it would be my surprise for you.
He tilted his head and reached for her hands. She took both his hands again and hold them.
Silveira: Yes I will love to. And whatever it is, it's more than enough. You are my surprise, my love.
Jovenan: I hope it’s enough, after all the nice things you’ve done to me. I want to give you something back for your surprises.
He pulled her closer and lowered his head. Looking up at him, her face just centimetres away from his. She smiled as she looked into his blue eyes.
Silveira: Oh don’t be silly honey. We are not competing, we are dating. And my girlfriend, you, will always surprise me.
Jovenan: Thank you. But I still want to try.
He leaned in closer until their lips touched. After the quick kiss, they looked each other in the eyes. She was standing on her toes, leaning against him and taking support from his chest. His warmth was spreading to her, making her feel safe. She couldn’t read his thoughts like some other crewmembers could, but that close, she could tell from his face that he wanted to confess something personal just before he spoke.
Silveira: I better just warn you about one thing. I… I have a great fear of heights… Really big… I might freeze and panic… It hadn’t happened in years but just… So you know
It was probably intended as an expression of trust to her that he told this. However, a wave of concern and mild panic flushed through Jovenan’s brain as soon as he told that. He was afraid of heights, and she had just about to surprise him with a few hours of flying, off-ground and in the simulated heights. As much as she enjoyed the feeling of being unbound by anything, curling and spinning in the weightlessness and towering over stars and space stations, the experience felt real for those who were there for the first time, and even after some time, it could give one motion sickness. Her surprise was meant to be nice and romantic, but she was fearing she might have just given him a curse instead of a gift.
Jovenan: Oh. I- I didn’t know that. Uh, thank you for trusting me…
Silveira: Response
They released their hold of each other and started walking to the door. Jovenan put on shoes before leaving the room, giving one last look at the pair of dolls on the desk. As the door closed, she was still thinking about them, how much she had loved his surprise to her and how much easier it was to be a doll, free of anxiety, just sitting on a desk or a bedside table the entire day, holding hands with someone she loved. The entire way to the turbolift, she remained silent, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, too afraid to ruin the moment between them by confessing that her surprise wouldn’t work after all. She knew that she’d need to tell him eventually, he’d find out, but her mind kept pushing it for later, as if that’d save her from the awful feeling.
((Astrometrics, Deck 9, USS Artemis))
When the Astrometrics’ door opened, they were greeted by the view to the outside. The dimly lit platform with computer consoles was there, but above and around it, the space opened up like if someone had cut this part of the hull away and exposed it to the nothingness around them. The stars in the distance were extraordinarily bright, and the shining, just over one metre tall representation of DS224 floated ahead and above them, majestically dominating the view with toy-sized starships buzzing around it.
Jovenan walked down to a more central location, holding Vitor’s hand. She knew that if she’d jump, she’d be caught in the null-gravity bubble and fly to the centre of it, next to the holographic station. However, she looked at him, not wanting to proceed with the enthusiastic presentation she would have given otherwise. Instead, she was quiet and insecure. She couldn’t do this to him.
Jovenan: Well, um, this is my surprise. There’s a low-gravity area above us, so we could have been floating in the space and see all sorts of things. It feels like actually being in space. But I don’t think it works after all.
Silveira: Response
Jovenan: I’m so sorry, Vitor. I thought it would be exciting or romantic or something, but… But I didn’t know about your fear of heights. You won’t like it.
She was holding back tears. It was just a ruined surprise, logically she knew that things like this happen, and it wasn’t her fault that, they could always just do something else. But to her, it represented something bigger. She had failed in something that she didn’t want to fail.
Jovenan: You always make me happy, and I can’t even get things like this right. I just don’t know how to be in a relationship.
Silveira: Response
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Lieutenant Commander Jovenan
Chief Science Officer
USS Artemis-A
E239911J11