Lt. JG Ollie Bergmen - A more substantive conversation
CPT Arianus
(( Elysium – Main Lounge, Deck 6 – USS Artemis-A ))
Time for them slipped away like sand passing through the narrow neck of an hourglass. Ollie felt it around them, relentless and flowing ever forward, even as the young Lieutenant JG tried to slow it down, to push it away, forget the time was even there with them in the room, as if the moment that was here and now should last forever.
But nothing lasts forever. Not for others. And Imril made that clear.
Imril: Good. Forgive me if I don't stretch this coffee break out two or three decades. ::laugh:: We both have too much work to do today.
Bergmen leaned back in his chair and let out a chuckle. He lifted his index finger, wanted to object, express disagreement, but then almost immediately he lowered it again. Imril was right. Ollie had no right to keep them in the selfish, timeless moment.
Bergmen: ::suppressing chuckle:: Ok, ok… ::nods:: Fair. What would you want to know, Imril?
Ollie hoped that the more personal address would allow them to hold onto the moment a little longer. Imril looked at his cup, perhaps trying to delay answering, to give themself another moment to think. Yet they did not take a sip.
Imril: When will I start feeling like I’m doing enough?
Lieutenant tilted his head, extending his arm toward Imril's. He did not touch theirs, yet kept it close enough to let Imril know it was there, if they wanted or needed.
Bergmen: I happen to know the answer to this. Us, workaholics, always want more. More to prove, more to achieve, more to have.
Ollie paused to give Imril time to absorb what he was saying.
Imril: You’re not the first person to call me a workaholic. And to be honest I don't mind it. It fits. But there was this officer I met back on Risa, and she didn’t outright call me that but she did say things close to it. She temporarily confiscated most of my padds and itineraries and the other things I was carrying around that day. And I let her, because she outtranked me. And because she wasn’t wrong. I’d overloaded my schedule that day. And for a while, I slowed down. But now I’m right back where I was when she met me. Filling up on things to do.
Bergmen was slowly nodding through the ensign’s words, listening carefully to the story, which Imril shared.
Bergmen: And she was right. Every time we prove ourselves, or achieve things we wanted to achieve, have what we always wanted to have, we do not stop to enjoy the moment, our victories, our success. We just move to the next step, facing yesterday’s thoughts about the fact that we are the wrong ones not yet proving, achieving, having what we think we should. We trap ourselves in a cycle where we can never do enough, because instead of doing and achieving, we raise the bar a little higher whenever it's within reach.
Ollie once more slowly nodded, gazed into Imril’s eyes, as he paused once more.
Bergmen: So, answer… We are doing enough. We just need to brake to cycle once in a while, to let ourselves ponder the moments we're in. About what we already achieved. About what we already have. And give it a little appreciation. Enjoy not the work, but ourselves. Do something not for work, but for ourselves. And leave whatever work we feel we just need to do to someone else. Can you do it?
Imril answered immediately.
Imril: It’s not that I don't trust my fellow crewfolk to do their share of the work. I do. One of the best parts of the job is getting to see another engineer do something that’s never occurred to me before. Learning from them. It’s just that I don't like not doing anything.
Ollie made a face at them, as if to say that he didn't want them to feel they needed to be so defensive.
Bergmen: Not doing anything, or not doing anything worthwhile in your eyes?
Imril: Response
The lieutenant glanced at his glass, watching the foam slowly fade at the bottom, reminding him that he should refill it. He wanted to do that, be able to sip more and prolong his time sitting here, but he knew he shouldn't.
Bergmen: I can only say what I know. Work will fill us for a moment. But that moment passes, work is done, and that leaves us void. So we take more work to fill that void. Life is more. Should be more. My grandpa once told me - for a long, happy life, we need three pillars. Work the work gives us engagement, someone next to our side we like, and a feeling that our life has meaning without the previous two. Life can be happy with just two pillars, but we never find happiness standing on just one leg, alone. ::pause, as he looks at Imril’s mug and his own empty glass:: Refill?
Imril: Response
Ollie shrugged his shoulders and smiled. At least he tried.
Bergmen: Ok, I will not torture you here any longer. Be free! You have my permission to return to work - not like you would need one. But let’s make a deal. We do this again. No need to just sit and drink… This ship, planets, or stations offer plenty of R&R options, so I believe we’ll find something else that interests both of us next time. Or something new we wanted to show to other... Time will tell. What do you say, deal?
Imril: Response
TAG/TBC
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Lieutenant JG Ollie Bergmen
Operations Officer
U.S.S. Artemis-A
A240009JC1