LT Gila Sadar - Living Up to Expectations, Under Duress
Gila Sadar
(( Gila’s Quarters - Compartment 17, Sector 12, Deck 3, USS Artemis-A ))
Gila looked at the two pips that she had taken off of her uniform collar, staring at them as they lay motionless on the clean table before her. Lieutenant. Not Junior Grade. Lieutenant. While the realization that she’d risen another notch on the metaphorical ‘career ladder’ did inspire the same dread of failure as her first promotion did, there wasn’t the same resistance and guilt as had accompanied that first hollow pip she’d been given on Betazed. And Gila didn’t have a good explanation as to why. Lieutenant Yellir had impressed upon her the idea that a promotion wasn’t just a reward for hard work, but also the Captain setting the bar a notch higher. The idea that the promotion was something she had to live up to, rather than something she’d earned, and this alteration to her mindset had been effective in coming to terms with her duties as a JG. As a result, she’d slowly gotten more accustomed to acting as a support system for her junior officers, but giving orders remained a big issue for her.
Lt. Commander Jashkaa had indicated that the many hold ups that Gila experienced during her service to Starfleet were self-imposed - that Gila resisted change as though she was a steel beam resisting a stormy wind - and Captain Mata…
She sighed.
oO I mean, it’s not like the concept of ‘I’m the problem’ is new, so why do I feel so defeated!? Oo
Savel: =/\= Savel to Lieutenant Sadar. =/\=
Gila jumped slightly when her combadge stuttered to life, carrying the flat baritone that Gila immediately pegged as Lieutenant JG Savel.
Sadar: =/\= Lieutenant Sadar here? =/\=
Savel: =/\= I saw your request for phaser training. If you are currently free, I am available now to assist. =/\=
Gila immediately felt cold sweat break out between her nuchal folds, and her teeth started gnawing at her inner cheek. Phasers. Weapons. Getting accustomed to other cultures and relinquishing her harsh self-restrictions. She instantly regretted putting in the request, but also realized that this was her adhering to the most sacred of rules - the laws of your superiors - and she realized that retracting the request would bring down the condescending ire of Lt. Commander Jashkaa. That concept was entirely unwanted, and as such, Gila saw no other alternative.
Sadar: O-Oh! Y-Yes, I- Oh! ::taps the combadge in a flustered manner:: =/\= U-Understood Lieutenant, I, uhh, I’ll be there momentarily. =/\=
Gila’s face deepened to a darker shade of byzantium purple, and she was immediately very thankful that she was alone in her quarters.
Savel: =/\= Very well, I shall wait for you at Training Holosuite 1 in the Security Center. =/\=
(( Security Center - Deck 08, USS Artemis-A ))
After close to ten minutes, Gila finally arrived at the Security Center, once again uniformed with the pips back on the collar. She would’ve arrived 90 seconds earlier had she not had to stop herself from turning around and calling in sick multiple times, but every time, she imagined the watchful eyes of the Orion Counselor watching her every move, and she managed to resist the impulse.
In the time since the potluck in the Captain’s backyard, it had been readily apparent that the crew was getting back to a sense of normalcy. No longer did people escape the vessel for longer periods of leave, and no longer did their work happen under hushed tones and sagged shoulders. The Captain’s words had had the intended effect, and that much was visible in the everyday runnings of the Artemis-A, as her vote of confidence had left its mark upon all who heard it.
oO “Despite insurmountable odds and impossible situations, this crew continues to prove its resilience, ingenuity, and bravery, and I am proud to serve with each of you.” Oo
The Captain’s words were like promotions. Both a congratulations for a work well done, but also a new goal post to live up to. And Gila, for her part, wanted to do her best at meeting those expectations in whatever way she could.
The first being actually getting through this appointment without being reduced to a blubbering mess on the floor.
Savel: Lieutenant, it is good to see you. I also thank you for arriving promptly for your training. ::glancing back to the console briefly:: I must ask, though, what type of training are you looking to receive today? I was unsure of what scenario or program would be most appropriate to load for us.
This greeting was thrown her way as soon as she joined up with the stoic Vulcan by the Security Center’s Holosuite, and the abruptness of it caught her off-guard.
Sadar: ::blinks:: Wh- Oh, uhh... I-I’m not sure? Uhh... The training is intended to... ‘Desensitize’ me to weapons? ::scratches her cheek:: If that makes sense?
Lieutenant Savel raised his eyebrow and the familiarity of the gesture made Gila’s galloping heart calm slightly. All things considered, Lieutenant Savel’s presence was sure to make this far less stressful than it would have otherwise been.
Savel: Very well, give me one moment. I believe I know of a program that is fitting for that particular goal.
Sadar: Thank you, Lieutenant. ::awkward pause:: I, uhh... I hope your time away from the Ship was restful?
Gila should have known better than to ask that.
Savel: Response
Sadar: A logical choice. ::looks to the holosuite:: W-Well, uhh... What are the parameters for this programme? Or is me knowing that detrimental to the results?
Savel: Response
That was a relief at least, and honestly, entirely logical. She wasn’t certain whether her very poor marks in the Academy’s phaser training was public knowledge, but she and the Vulcan Lieutenant had served together for over a year, and in that time, her resistance to using weapons had been very apparent. The Lieutenant led them into the holosuite, and the elongated holographic projection with a well-lit range with stationary targets and a weapons station with different variants of Starfleet’s standard weaponry was so eerily familiar, Gila almost felt like she was back at the Academy, being yelled at by Professor Tullen for dropping the phaser mid-shot, again.
Sadar: S-So... Where do we start?
Savel: Response
Tags/TBC
LT Gila Sadar
Medical Officer
USS Artemis-A
A240006GS1