Lt. JG Ollie Bergmen - Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.
CPT Arianus
(( CoO Office - Operations Center, Deck 5, USS Artemis-A ))
Ollie took a deep breath and looked at Tamio. He thought, pondered. Part of him wanted to speak the words, while another... another wished to remain silent. Wait. No, not just wait. Wait it out. Escape. Leave it to someone else. He felt the tension building in his shoulders, an inner conflict tearing him apart.
Ollie took a deep breath and glanced at Tamio. His shoulders relaxed, and he nodded his head slightly. He knew what part of him won. He knew what he regretted the most - a fleeting promise of tomorrow he had given quietly transformed into thirteen long years. Now she was gone... And he could no longer run from everything and everyone.
Bergmen: If I may, Chief, I’m not sure whether this falls under your or the captain’s purview for approval, but I would like to request permission to travel off the system for a few days, up to a week, maximum; of course after I finish those instructions. (beat) I was informed two days ago about the death of Chief Petty Officer Hannah Marks. We served together at Vancouver, and we were close back then. I would like to take the honor of escorting her home.
Tamio nodded slowly and took a hitched breath, tapping their fingers together as if they tried to rid themselves of their own demons.
K’Wara: ::thick voice:: Of course. ::normal voice:: My condolences, Olliver. It is never easy, losing a friend.
(( Flashback – Observation Lounge, Deck 4, USS Vancouver ))
((( Fourteen years ago )))
She stood there all alone, a dark outline beneath the vast expanse of twinkling stars. The soft hum of the screen in safe mode was her only companion. Ollie approached her softly, his feet lightly brushing against the carpet as if he wished not to disturb her in the wonderful contemplation of the view that had come before them both. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder.
(( End of Flashback ))
(( CoO Office - Operations Center, Deck 5, USS Artemis-A ))
((( Present )))
Friend. Ollie tried for a smile, something to hide the deep hurt he carried within. Yet his expression lacked depth, barely concealing the pity that lingered just beneath the surface.
Bergmen: Thank you, lieutenant, for understanding.
K’Wara: The Captain and Av- Lt. Commander Munro has the final say, but I don’t foresee the request being denied. There’s not been a lot of requests for personal leave yet, so we should have the manpower to cover it... Do you know when you’ll be leaving?
Ollie shrugged his shoulders. Days? Maybe week from now. That was the worst part: He did not know. Subspace communication reached them in a split second… While her ship, wounded and like Charon's boat, was still trudging slowly home even now…
Bergmen: I still have… I don’t know. A couple of days? (beat) Her ship is on its way to Deep Space 211. And then they sent her to Trill FMAO for… You know.
He couldn't say it out loud. Finish the sentence. Regardless of how he expressed it, the words, even not said, felt so distant, so imperceptible, as if it were just another stop, another service post to be sent on.
Perhaps Tamio sensed it in his words, or maybe it was due to what he didn’t say, that prompted the Lieutenant's following question.
K’Wara: ... And how do you feel, if you don’t mind me asking?
He had no easy answer to the question. How did he feel? His mind had many words. None felt right. His heart… had none. That emptiness felt even more painful…
Bergmen: I… I don’t know. We… one day we laughed. And another she gone. Transferred to another ship. Said nothing, just left. We were in contact after, then and there. Wanted to reconnect. Just meet next month. Next year. And with every next, we were more and more distant…and…
Ollie felt silent for a second.
Bergmen: One night, when we were both on Vancouver, we promised ourselves that if we were both single ten years from that night, we would just give it a try. Get together. (beat) Those ten years were a couple of years ago… I remember a moment during a call when she wanted to talk, but the timing wasn't right. I was deployed, I told her we will speak about it after I return... Then I got the chance to go to OCS, and now...now she's gone. I missed it. I thought there would always be a tomorrow, a chance for us to reconnect and pick up where we left things... but now she's gone.
K’Wara: Response
How to describe living through centuries, seeing all change, while being stone… Unchanging. Ageless.
Ollie was searching for the right words as he recalled a quote from Kataris, a philosophical book written centuries ago at Gideon. Once banned as dishonoring the gift of eternal life, now a set book, a warning, again as then, falling on deaf ears.
Bergmen: ‘My life should be rain, but I live as a drop. Year or decade, it’s just tomorrow. What was yesterday, I cannot change.’
He wished to understand what those words meant. He knew they had meaning; they were important, yet the true meaning of those words was like sand, slipping through his fingers.
K’Wara: Response
Bergmen: I wish I knew what it means. It’s from Kataris, an old philosophical book we studied in our youth on my planet. I’m sorry if they missed the point. I was a bad student…
K’Wara: Response
TAG/TBC
–
Lieutenant JG Ollie Bergmen
Operations Officer
U.S.S. Artemis-A
A240009JC1