LtJG Jovenan – I wish I knew the words
Jovenan
((Science Centre, Deck 9, USS Artemis))
Normal.
Normal meant PADDwork.
The alternate universe attackers had been repelled and sent back to from whence they had come. The rift between the universes had been opened, and right after, closed, leaving seemingly no evidence of ever existing. Almost none. The phenomenon still persisted in the text on PADDs the Assistant Chief Science Officer carried with her.
Jovenan’s introduction as the deputy department head had hardly been successful. The original research mission had been a disaster, and the prismagon studies had been lagging much behind until they had to finish it all in one rush. Jovenan had begun to seriously consider if she was ready for leadership positions after all. Sometimes it even felt like the department administrative assistant, Petty Officer Milath, was keeping watch on her while in the offices. She avoided going there when possible.
She looked at the topmost PADD on the pile.
“Ensign Sylvia Tarra, USS Artemis, deceased 240011.08”.
Jovenan closed her eyes and breathed in and out slowly. With time, she could shoulder all post-facto safety reports and Starfleet Science communiques ripping a hole to the universe had caused to pile on her desk, but this was much more difficult for her. A young member of the Science Department, her department, had been killed in action after the attack to the Hazardous Materials Lab. Jovenan had seen the poor ensign’s body in the morgue, something that would continue to disturb her for years to come. She was grateful that it was the Captain and not her who had to contact Ensign Tarra’s parents and inform them of what had happened.
Ensign Tarra at least had a family to inform. She didn’t know what she should do with the other casualty close to her.
The door opened. The scientists and other personnel often came and went, but with the approaching shore leave, some of them had opted to “work from their quarters” and send the final reports after the leave, allowing Jovenan to walk around the centre undisturbed. The person to enter wasn’t a blueshirt this time, however, but one of their few officers to wear black.
Dakora: Good morning Jovenan. ::He cracked a slight smile.:: I’ve been meaning to congratulate you and your team on a job well done.
Jovenan closed the PADD and placed it to a desk. She tried responding to Lt Commander Dakora’s smile.
Jovenan: Thank you, sir. I’ll inform everyone of your congratulations. ::shrugs:: It wasn’t as clean and well-planned solution we had hoped for, but it seemed to have worked.
The Commander looked discreetly side to side before continuing. For a moment Jovenan feared he might have some confident information to share with her. She wasn’t ready to go and scout another terrorist infested canyon.
Dakora: And how are you doing? If you don’t mind me asking. ::His expression softened a little.:: I know there are a few of us trying to process the loss of our doubles but yours was the only one that didn’t deserve her fate…
Jovenan took a look at the tips of her shoes before returning her eyes to Commander Dakora. She hadn’t believed in the other Jovenan’s intentions, nor had she seen her death. Almost everything she knew of her sister from the other universe came from other people. She had considered asking if she could use a holodeck to view her sisters last moments as soon as the reports were finalised, but she hadn’t dared to bother any senior officers with the request. She didn’t even know if she wanted to do that.
Jovenan: So I’ve heard. I… I just don’t know what to think about it.
Dakora: I was there, you know? ::Beat.:: I was right there. I came around the corner just as she was running for her life. ::His brow furrowed as the image appeared in his mind.:: I saw the fear in her eyes, saw her pleading for my help… but it all happened so fast, and I…
Jovenan watched with sorrowful eyes as he tried telling her what he had seen, but to her, it also revealed what he had felt. The Commander spoke like he had seen something that had hurt him as well. Jovenan assumed this wasn’t the first time the Commander had seen a person die, but he sounded like he had been affected by it. He cared.
Dakora: I’m sorry. I’m sure this isn’t helping.
She tried smiling. She wanted to embrace the Commander in a hug, one that could comfort and console them both, but she had to remind herself that the offworlders generally preferred no physical contact, causing her to fear it might had been inappropriate for her to do.
Jovenan: No, it does help. Thank you.
She sighed.
Jovenan: I just wished I had known her better. I only ever met her once, and we didn’t get along very well. The entire time I thought she was behind the attack. I feel bad for thinking so when she tried to help us and… that happened.
Dakora: Response
She wanted to help the Commander as well, but she didn’t know what she could do. She wasn’t a counsellor, but she felt like she needed to be the one to say something. But what?
Jovenan: I heard Lieutenant Silveira had some sort of a relationship with her. Have you heard anything about that? Or how is he faring?
As soon as the words departed her lips, she knew it wasn’t what she had meant to say. It was like when they had talked on the previous shore leave. She had switched the topic to something else, something impersonal. While she was curious about the relationship between Lt Silveira and her sister – a topic she had avoided since – she knew she shouldn’t be asking about it from Commander Dakora, especially not now.
Dakora: Response
Jovenan nodded in response. She knew she had to talk with Lt Silveira herself eventually, but now she needed to focus on the person in front of her. She needed to stop being so closed with him.
Jovenan: If it’s okay with you, sir… How are you faring? Seeing all that, and, uh, with what happened to your double.
Dakora: Response
TAG/TBC
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Lieutenant JG Jovenan
Assistant Chief Science Officer
USS Artemis-A
E239911J11