Ensign Tho’Bi - Don’t Want To Be Shut Down

[Tobi]

((Counsellor's Office - Counselling Suites - Deck 7 - USS Artemis-A))

Lux: It is difficult when you're forced into a very intense situation, on your first mission as well. Several intense scenarios, where your life was in danger. It's going to bring up a lot of emotions for you.

The Andorian looked away. His dark blue eyes tracked across the assorted furniture and brickabrac in the room.

Tho'Bi: ::distant:: Yeah… that makes sense.

Kicked heels. Look around. Silence. Seconds. Seconds stretched into tens of seconds. Finally, looks at Counsellor. 

Tho'Bi: ::quiet:: But Andorians are built for danger… for life or death… for war. ::shakes head:: Everything is calmer, clearer for us in these moments. 

Lux: Our natural instincts and responses are not always bad. Even if they feel like they should be. They come from a place of survival in this specific case. But we're getting abstract, I'd like to narrow our scope a little to how this has affected you? 

Stands up. Starts pacing.

Tho'Bi: ::more animated:: It’s not supposed to bother me. It's not supposed to be a problem. ::looks at Lux:: I'm Andorian. 

The Trill Counsellor hands, raised to Calm, Lowered to sit.

Sits down. Shifts for no purpose. 

Lux: Having emotions is normal :: beat :: Even for an Andorian. 

Tho'Bi: But it should bother me? Shouldn't it? ::finger pointing at chest:: I want it to bother me.

Sits back in a heap.

Lux: It should bother you. It's healthy. When we repress emotions they tend to manifest themselves in other ways. Often more destructive ways. 

oO Destructive ways. Thousands of years of destructive ways Oo

Blue hand slaps down on arm of chair. And again. And again. And again. Stop. Looks at the ceiling. 

Tho'Bi: ::quieter but unsettled:: I don't know what I'm supposed to do. 

Lux: I can't answer that for you Tho'Bi, I wish I could, it would make my job a lot easier. When you feel this way :: paused to think :: this conflict between what you feel inside and how you suppose an Andorian should behave, what do you do in these moments? 

Rubs eyes. Shakes head.

Tho'Bi: ::hushed apologetic:: I’m sorry… I..I.. don't understand the question. 

His head was spinning. He wasn't used to this.  

Lux: Have you ever tried meditative practice or some techniques? Is that something you'd even consider? 

The Counsellor studied his reaction keenly.

Tho'Bi: ::shrugs:: I… I don't… I guess I could try.

Lux: Response 

Eyes focused on the floor.

Tho'Bi: ::breathy almost to himself:: I just don't want to be shut down.

Lux: Response 

Picks up glass of Srjula Tea. Puts it back down without drinking.

Tho'Bi: ::still staring at the bright yellow tea:: If being shut down is what a senior officer need to be… ::looks at Lux:: …then I don't want it.

Lux: Response 

TAGS/TBC

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Ensign Tho’Bi

Engineering

USS Artemis-A

A240203T11