PNPC Provisional Crewman Vhysa'lia - After-Academy Homework?
Lich
((Counselor’s Office - Deck 7, USS Artemis-A))
Vhysa’lia had her suspicions about what was going on with Imril, but she knew so little of their past, besides what they had revealed to her in this meeting. Some things just never made it to the official records, so to better understand everything, they had asked Imril to elaborate further on how this wasn’t an isolated incident of acting out on their emotions and fears.
Imril: I have a whole host of gripes with the Prime Directive, but that’s a matter of philosophy, not psychology. Upholding it is part of the oath I took as a Starfleet officer, and my personal opinion in that matter did not affect the mission.
They continued to elaborate, discussing the conditions that they were taken prisoner in, and their own inadequacies with understanding the Meirashi people and language.
Imril: By the time we were locked up, I had convinced myself that we were about to be thrown into a trial by ordeal or be judged according to scriptures that none of us had ever read. That got me a tongue-lashing from Lyara, who -- with as much evidence as I had about the tenets or tenor of the Meirashi faith, none -- had convinced herself that she could be the one to open a dialogue with our captors precisely because she is a person of faith. It got heated fast. She accused me of equating religion with barbarism. I threw back at her the barbarism her own religion had crafted and condoned in the form of Kai Winn. Like Evreste, I wanted to hurt her. To make her choke on her hypocrisy. And yeah, I suppose I wanted to feel a little control over my surroundings. Took a swing at a target I could hit.
Vhysa’lia: From the sounds of it, you’re not just afraid of losing control due to other people taking it from you, but losing control of yourself to your own emotions. You don’t seem to trust yourself as much as you want to, at least as far as I understand what you’ve been telling me. ::beat:: Does this sound accurate?
Imril: I suppose… I suppose I’ve stopped trusting myself as much after the Genesis Planet. I keep wondering what the next big blow-up is going to be.
They gave Imril a knowing smile, hoping that it came off as sincere.
Vhysa’lia: I don’t think that’s a good use of your time and energy, to spend it all worrying…
Imril: I’m not a violent person. I’m not going to go wild and start beating on people or swinging phasers around. Not that words can’t also be hurtful in ways you don’t intend. Lyara and I worked together well enough after Ura Neteos III, I suppose. No further incidents. But I don't think she ever really accepted my apology.
They nodded again. Apologizing, and dealing with a possible negative reaction to one’s apology wasn’t ever easy, she knew that.
Vhysa’lia: Well… I think that’s understandable, as you did intend to hurt her, and apparently did. It’s not something that should be done lightly, which I can see that you recognize now. ::beat:: I would hope that she accepts the apology, but being forgiven for the hurt caused isn’t a guarantee, which you should be prepared for.
Imril: Response
Vhysa’lia: It sounds like you’re still able to get along professionally, which is a good sign. And being able to take responsibility for your actions is important, and a good step towards hopefully counter-acting impulses like these in the future.
Imril: Response
Kobali patients, the more difficult ones, sometimes had similar outbursts of emotions tied to the life that they’d left behind. It wasn’t always easy to predict for them when such reactions could occur, with each person being so radically different in their current circumstances, as well as their kyn’steya. But, there were a few techniques that they’d found helpful in the past that might work for Imril, they hoped.
Vhysa’lia: ::nodding:: If you’d like, I can give you a few “homework” exercises, things to practice between now and the next time we meet, that might be helpful? ::beat:: They’re predominantly focused on helping you to recognize situations that cause you distress, and then strategizing healthier ways to react to said situations.
She wasn’t going to pressure a “yes” out of them, but she did hope that they would agree to taking a bit of work back home with them.
Imril: Response
Tags/TBC :)