Ensign Gila Sadar - Walls to Keep Others Out, or the Self Locked Within?
Ensign Sadar
((Siamberr Library - Rylar District, Cait))
Adea: What are you doing there?
Gila shuffled slightly in place, and though her hands kept working, she felt strangely shy at the idea of her superior officer watching her notetaking.
Sadar: An, uhh… Old habit. I remember things best if I write them down… It’s more common on Mizar II than in the Federation.
She was aware that it was a peculiar habit - most the Federation worlds had long since converted to a purely digital method of writing - but the Mizarians had been almost obstinate in their adherence to some old ways. The adherence to the Ur’tal - a rite that demanded writing on combustible material - was perhaps part of it, but likely just one part of a greater whole.
Adea: Fair enough… ::he smiled warmly:: Although I still prefer reports to be digital.
Gila sensed that it was more of a joke than a genuine concern that the Mizarian Doctor would being sending him actual bound medical logs to clutter his office, but she nonetheless offered her reassurances.
Sadar: ::ghost of a smile:: I swear to not submit handwritten duty logs. If you don’t mind me saying so, Sir, Sickbay can get plenty chaotic without the addition of loose papers floating about when gravity’s down.
Adea: Oh isn’t that the truth! I have to admit I am enjoying being back in the thick of it rather than up in the FO’s office.
Finishing her sketch and standing back up to her full height, though still hunched over as she tended to be, she turned towards the Commander. It had been a peculiar thing for her. When she’d first arrived aboard the Artemis, she’d been alerted to the fact that there was no true ‘Chief Medical Officer’, but that until one could be employed, she’d be reporting to Assistant Chief Kyle Morgan. She hadn’t heard of ‘voluntary demotions’ before, but that seemed to have been what occurred for Commander Adea, and so now, they did have a department chief.
All the same, Gila was happy about it. Commander Adea seemed more… Approachable, than Lt. Morgan.
Sadar: Did Command not… Suit you, Sir?
Genkos shook his head and ran a hand through his long hair, pausing only as a finger got caught in a knot.
Adea: You can take the doctor out of sickbay and all that… But I’ve never been terribly ambitious, career-wise - when I made CMO of the Gorkon a few years ago, that’s about when my desire to climb the ranks ceased. But I’m always happy to help out if needed.
Gila’d been slightly lost in thought as she watched her commanding officer make such considerations about this career prospects. You can take the Doctor out of the Sickbay… While she certainly expected that to be true - she’d discovered that she too had the tendency to medically analyze people while out and about on the Ship - the words also rang true in a different way to her.
She’d left her former life behind, and yet, when the opportunity presented itself, she had been unable to stop herself from diving headfirst into research at the first sign of a potential discovery. In the moment, she’d been so wrapped up in the feeling of discovery and research that she’d not properly realized what was happening. But now, a bitter taste still hung at the back of her throat, reminding her.
Adea: What about you? What do you want from the ‘fleet?
She had no business playing at scholarly work anymore...
Sadar: Me? I…
The change to her body language was an immediate shift, apparent to anyone - even those who had not spent the better part of an hour in her company at this point - as she turned her face away, tightening her arms along the sides of her torso. It was as if she tried to create a wall that kept herself together, or perhaps a barrier to keep the empathic Betazoid out?
Sadar: A new perspective… ::brief pause as she fumbles for a text to busy herself with:: Mizarians have no use for ambition. ‘Ambition leads to discord, discord leads to isolation, and isolation is but the precipice of imbalance.’
Whether she was reciting the Tenet of Imbalance to explain her point to Commander Adea, or to remind herself, she was uncertain. The way her voice articulated the words, however, caused a brief flitter of homesickness and pain in her chest. She’d heard him say them so many times, it was as thought she heard his voice say them through her mouth as well.
Adea: Response
Sadar: ... It's, uhh, a saying... A Mizarian proverb, one could say...
Which was not exactly a lie, but not exactly the whole truth either. As she located a text to read - which she wasn’t quite sure what was about, truth be told - she eagerly opened it, hoping to find some kind of solace in the knowledge offered by the aged pages.
Adea: Response
TAG/TBC
Ensign Gila Sadar
Medical Officer
USS Artemis-A
A240006GS1