PNPC Gila Sadar - We've Both Got a LOT of Work Ahead of Us
LT Tamio K'Wara
(( The Sadar-Aqila Quarters - Deck 176, DS224 ))
The last person Gila would’ve expected a call from, much less a personal call, was Lieutenant Roy Bancroft. He had been just an Ensign when they first met, barely off the shuttle and already thrown into the deep end when he joined them on the Galarian Front, but he’d evidently proven himself in the time since. Gila was very happy about that, even if his interest in her current occupation - and negligence to continue her medical practice - was confusing.
They’d barely had the time to know each other before she got kicked off of the Artemis. The only thing that remotely tied them together was the happenstance that she’d caught him in disobeying orders during his first away mission... And what followed.
She could only imagine how he must have felt, knowing that the person who disciplined him so had been a criminal-in-hiding...
Sadar: =/\= I, appreciate the consideration, Doctor… ::looks down at her hands:: W-Well, I’m d-doing disciplinary duties a-at the moment, and I have m-my nephew to look after, s-so- =/\=
Bancroft: =/\= Those sound like good reasons. And true ones, I’m sure. ::long pause:: But they’re not the reason, are they? =/\=
Gila shied back slightly.
Sadar: =/\= I’m not- ::looks back up at him:: ... I don’t know. Who would want to be treated by a doctor like me? B-Besides, the DS224 medical staff is very competent. =/\=
A brief moment of quiet passed between the two of them as Gila made that admission. It wasn’t that she mistrusted her own skills as a physician - she’d been trained by some of the finest Doctors in the galaxy, many of whom she’d been proud to call her colleagues - but for a Mizarian, reputation was everything. And once that reputation was tarnished, nothing short of a miracle could restore it.
Bancroft: =/\= ::softly, earnestly:: I would. I did. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat. =/\=
That made Gila look back up at him. It felt so impossibly soft and kind, it confused her. It was a far cry from the malicious whispers she’d heard in the corners when she first got booted off of the Artemis.
Bancroft: =/\= You stood by me when everything was falling apart. When I’d made a mistake I expected to end my career. You could have so easily been rid of me – run me up the mast, or out of the fleet with one stroke of a stylus. =/\=
She shook her head - almost as though to explain herself, that of course she’d never rob the Artemis of a promising Doctor because of a foolish mistake - when Lieutenant Bancroft continued.
Bancroft: =/\= But, you didn’t. You saw something in me. Something worth saving. Worth redeeming. That’s the doctor I remember. =/\=
Sadar: =/\= ... L-Lieutenant Bancroft, I- I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but you don’t, mh, owe me anything... A-And I really don’t think this is- For your own sake, I think it best if you didn’t concern yourself with... W-With me. =/\=
He breathed out - not quite a sigh, but still clear admonishment - before standing up and Gila looked down at her anxiety band as she twisted it a couple of times.
Bancroft: =/\= ::sternly:: I reject that, Doctor Sadar. Fear doesn’t make you a villain, and proactively naming yourself a villain doesn’t make you a hero. It just lets the wound fester where nobody can see. =/\=
Sadar: =/\= I-I don’t- ::quiets:: =/\=
That wasn’t true. While she’d never label herself a ‘hero’ per se, his critique was at least partially warranted. Wallowing in self-pity, labelling herself a ‘monster’ and a danger to her crew had been what prompted this mess, and determining that everyone was better off if she continued that narrative about herself was unfair.
oO Why didn’t you just tell someone? Anyone? Oo
Commander Adea would’ve helped her. Lt. Commander Jovenan would’ve tried to assist her with understanding this. Lt. Commander Silveira and Vai-n- Lieutenant Vailani would have stood by her, used their illogical persuasive skills to convince her, if only briefly, that the galaxy did not seem as dark and impossible as she’d thought it was.
And she’d chosen not to give them that chance. To martyr herself, in the futile hope that it would set her right before the Wheel.
oO I’m a fool Oo
She looked back up at the youthful Doctor, the kindhearted man who offered her an olive branch, and she took a quiet breath.
Sadar: =/\= I-I made my choice, Lieutenant. And I stand by it... I was entrusted with responsibility, a-and I- ::looks down:: I-I abused it, and the C-Captain’s trust. And I must live with the consequences of that choice... H-However difficult they may be. =/\=
Bancroft: =/\= You were drowning, alone, and terrified of your own skin. That’s not a recipe for great decision-making. ::beat:: And I’m not here to excuse what you did – that’s not mine to give. That kind of absolution can only come from within. =/\=
He took his seat again, his face unwavering.
Bancroft: =/\= I’m here to do for you what you once did for me – shine a light on the path. I can’t walk it for you. But I will walk beside you. =/\=
It was like someone had doused her in ice water and she sat up in a rush.
Sadar: =/\= ::unusually stern:: You will do no such thing. ::realization:: I-I’m s-s-sorry, that was- ::clears throat:: Wh-What I- ::sighs:: =/\=
Bancroft: =/\= Response? =/\=
Sadar: =/\= ... Y-You are right. I-I’m the only one who can make something of my current situation... A-And whether I am able to do so or not, w-well, that depends on me, yes? ::slight smile:: And so, u-until I’ve made something of it, I-I won’t drag your reputation down with me... B-But, I... I-I'll think on what you said. Okay? =/\=
Bancroft: =/\= Response =/\=
Sadar: =/\= ... I know, and I appreciate it. I do. ::smiles:: B-But instead of worrying about me, concern yourself with yourself. The job only gets harder from here. ::indicates his pips:: Captain MacKenzie works her Doctors particularly hard. =/\=
Bancroft: =/\= Response =/\=
TAG/TBC
PNPC Gila Sadar
Civilian
DS224
As simmed by
LT Tamio K’Wara
Chief of Operations
USS Artemis-A
A240006GS1