LT Tamio K'Wara - Grace and Patience

[LT Tamio K'Wara]

(( Captain’s Ready Room - Deck 1, USS Artemis-A ))

MacKenzie: You weren’t interested in being among the stars?

That was a loaded question if any. Most hopeful Cadets who signed up with Starfleet Academy did so either out of familial obligation, a desire to serve or due to intense curiosity that could only be sated by service in the stars. And while there was certainly an element of all of that in Tamio themself - their father had been very proud when Tamio chose to follow him into Starfleet - Tamio’s clearest motivation was something else entirely.

K’Wara: I am not an explorer or pioneer by nature, Captain. I value a sense of home and family, I value connections. I enjoy watching someone at the beginning of a journey, and I enjoy seeing how their exploits and accomplishments, academic or otherwise, change them and turn them into the next version of themself. That journey, I think, is one of life’s greatest artworks.

Captain MacKenzie nodded, though Tamio had difficulty reading why she did so. Either she was confirming a suspicion and Tamio was on the next shuttle back to SB118, or she was resonating with Tamio’s explanation. Dealer’s choice. Obviously, it could also just be a placeholder reaction in lieu of telling Tamio they were a moron to their face, but that was frankly too insulting to consider.

MacKenzie: So I guess that brings me back to my original question. I guess I’ll reframe it: What made you decide that now was the time to leave the Academy and rejoin us up in the stars?

K’Wara: The reason for my assignment was to offer me quiet and calm to work through what happened on the Arthur Royale. I’ve done that now. I like teaching, but the Academy is all storied traditions and routines. Good for giving you peace and quiet; less so for developing your own capabilities further. 

It also felt distinctly sad to be saying ‘I have command experience’ and that command experience being strictly limited to Academy Cruises. Morrígan would’ve decked them one if she heard that.

MacKenzie: And you feel that you have worked through your prior grief?

K’Wara: Yes Sir. I had my last check-in with the Academy Counselor seven months ago, and I got a clean bill of health.

A silence interposed itself on the conversation and Tamio realized their mistake. Captain MacKenzie wasn’t the type of Captain to accept the short and technically correct answer at face value. She was a much more thorough and frustrating type of Captain. Tamio had experience with those, and they tended to be the ones who had the better crews for it.

MacKenzie: I know what the counseling report says. What I’m asking you is, do you feel better prepared to handle that grief knowing that you’re now in a situation where you may face something similar again?

Tamio allowed a small pause to form in the conversation before answering the question. Their gut instinct was ‘it won’t, I have no more friends to lose’, but that was one of those negative and grief-ladened thoughts that they had learned to disregard and combat. Tamio had friends, though none of them were as close as Morrígan had been. Was there any assurances that Tamio wouldn’t form close relations in the future, and then lose them as they had her? No, of course not, and Tamio hoped there were many new friendships in their future.

Would they prefer not to lose anymore friends? Obviously. But Morrígan’s death had been a wake-up call. No one is exempt from the universe’s sometimes cruelly random choice of victims, and grief is not always easy. It was an experience that had helped Tamio a lot in the aftermath of Frontier Day, where they had seen so many Cadets struggle with survivor’s guilt, guilt over their own assimilation and soulbreaking doubt over their own fitness as Starfleet Officers.

Grief was never easy, and it wasn’t something you could ‘speedrun’ because it was inconvenient to you, but it was something that was infinitely easier to get through if you offered yourself a bit of grace and patience.

K’Wara: ... I do. Experience is a bitter teacher, Captain, and it’s a lesson I intend to remember. The events that occurred on the Arthur Royale hit closer to home than I’d ever experienced before, and I was unprepared for how that affected me. I won’t be so again.

MacKenzie: Response

K’Wara: Yes Sir. I understand.

MacKenzie: Response

K’Wara: ::wider smile:: On the contrary, Sir, it’s nice to be back in Ops Gold. Command Red comes with too many preconceived expectations attached to it. Happy to leave that to more decorated officers.

MacKenzie: Response

TAG/TBC

LT Tamio K’Wara

Operations Officer

USS Artemis-A

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