Lt. Cmdr Robin Hopper: Matters of the Heart
Robin Hopper
((Sickbay – USS Artemis-A))
Kraal passed the PADD, which contained the record of steps taken since Hopper had been placed on the biobed, to Doctor Adea with a worried look. Already, more and more wounded were being brought to Sickbay, and the remaining medical staff were doing the best they could to triage and treat the most severe injuries. He was needed elsewhere, and Hopper’s fate would now rest in the CMO’s hands.
Kraal: That’s the situation, Commander. I’ve stabilized her as well as I could, but she’s still deteriorating. The shard needs to come out, but it’s going to be a complicated procedure.
Adea: Thank you Kraal - is there anything else?
Richards: There has to be more, right?
Robin could overhear the conversation happening near her bedside, but her mind was distant. Painkillers were, at least, keeping her from slipping out of consciousness again. She wanted to be awake, to be as alert as possible, to know what was happening. She couldn’t let her guard down. Not now. Maybe not ever.
Kraal’s cat-like eyes shifted between the CMO and Richards.
Kraal: There’s one bit of good news. I didn’t realize until I ran a genomic analysis, but she’s half-human and half-Centauran. That might have saved her life.
Adea: ::muttering:: Her hearts not on the left… thank the Four. ::after shaking his head and briefly casting his eyes to the heavens:: Kraal, take a drink and take five. But then, if you’re able, I’ll need you to keep triaging.
Robin could hear Nate’s grateful sigh, and felt herself tense, which only aggravated the throbbing pain in her chest. She might have been drugged, but she could still think – in fact, it was about all she could do with the gravity restraints holding her in place.
It was impossible not to imagine worst case scenarios… her survival was far from assured – and if she did survive, would life go back to normal? Could it ever? What if she had never woken up at all? How could Nathan have taken her death? What if he had been the one stabbed? … She tried to shut out the thoughts but they just kept coming.
Richards: So, there is a chance she will be okay.
Kraal folded his arms across his chest and nodded, before taking his leave of the others.
Kraal: ::To Adea:: Best of luck, Sir… ::To Richards:: She’s awake, but talking isn’t easy.
Adea: You can talk to her for a minute, no more.
Richards: Yes, sir.
Adea: And we’ll need to discuss correct hypospray etiquette at some point before you depart, Lieutenant.
While she was typically attuned to such things – the CMO’s warning to Nathan went by Robin unheard. She had no idea what he had gone through, what he was still going through, and the means by which he’d been managing his condition. All more worries to be thrown on the bonfire of horrific thoughts burning through her mind soon enough.
Richards: Right.
Out of her peripheral vision, Robin could see Nathan approaching and, even though she knew it was stupid and pointless, she averted her gaze at first – as if that might somehow prevent him from seeing the state that she was in. Despite this, she could sense his hand on hers, felt his fingers gently brushing her mussed hair out of her face. There was no denying his gaze now, and she met his gray eyes sadly.
Hopper: ::Pained:: It’s… bad…
Nathan sat down beside her, his familiar face clearer in her mind than the others’ to her bleary eyes. She thought she saw him smile, but knew his heart wasn’t fully in it. There would be no genuine smiles for a while – she felt sure of that.
Nathan: ::Half-hearted chuckle:: You look great.
Hopper: Don’t… lie…
Richards: ::Chuckling:: You’re right, sorry. You look like shit.
The truth was, she felt like shit. The shard hurt – there was no doubt of that. But worse was the burning pain of whatever the ionized radiation on the metal was doing to her insides. Every breath was a labour, every word a torment.
Hopper: Too… honest…
Nate gave her hand another squeeze.
Richards: You hang in there. Okay?
Hopper: ::Unconfidently:: …Yeah.
Adea: Richards, you have to go. And Hopper, before we start, do you have any questions?
Nathan nodded to Dr. Adea once more before looking back to Robin. He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead before whispering to her.
Richards: ::Whispered:: I love you.
Why did it feel like the hallway all over again? Like this might be the last time? Why did she feel so compelled to hold him close and never let go? She was afraid; Terrified at the thought of losing him… That’s what had made her reckless, careless – it’s what had nearly gotten her killed.
She could feel panic in her gut, as if any second another drone might leap out from the haze and plunge another blade into her. That she’d find she was back on the Borg Cube, delirious and hallucinating as the drones ran more experiments on her.
Hopper: ::Panicked:: Can’t… breathe…
The biobed began to chirp warning sounds, calling for the doctor’s attention. Nathan, drawn away by the CMO’s forceful voice, stood reluctantly and moved away from the bed. Her breathing began to ease as she saw him go, and the doctor moved to stand at her side… What a horrible feeling. That her lover leaving should calm her frayed nerves.
She watched him for as long as she could bear, then asked the doctor the only question she really cared about before he began his work.
Hopper: …Awake?
Adea: Response
She wasn’t going back to sleep. Not now. She couldn’t. The idea that she might never wake up again was still too fresh in her mind. She had to be present, had to know what was happening. She could handle it. She had to.
Hopper: Want to… see… What… first?
Adea: Response
TBC
