Ensign Kel Solas - Can't Stay Can't Leave

[Xander Fulton]

((Ensign Kel’s Quarters - Compartment 11, Sector 3, Deck 5, USS Artemis-A))

Kel: Lieutenant, I have a question I’d like to ask you. If you will allow it. It is not something I think someone from another ship can answer. But I’m also afraid….that they won’t tell me.

Sadar: Of course.

Kel: Is there a way to know…if I killed anyone?

Lieutenant Sadar’s eyes widened.

Sadar: Ensign, you didn’t kill anyone. The Collective did. ::pause:: But... I don’t know. The experiences of those assimilated during Frontier Day have been numerous. Some experienced everything with perfect clarity, some escaped into their own minds to shield themselves, and others again claim to have seen nothing at all until it was all over.

Solas let out a sharp, long breath before pinching the ridges along his nose. He then sat down and rested his head in both his hands.

Kel: I see….thank you for letting me know, Lieutenant.

Sadar: ... If... Th-There’s a chance that counseling might trigger such memories for you, Ensign. That once time has passed, and your brain decides it has the capacity to process that trauma, the memories will become unlocked.

Solas shook his head, massaging his head as if to physically rub the thoughts away.

Kel: It’s alright, I want to talk about this. I can’t let this stew in my head.

Sadar: No one on this Ship holds what happened against you, Ensign Kel. It would be illogical to do so. You were not in control, and according to testimonies from the Security Center, your last conscious act was to request your superior officer to shoot you…

He chuckled, reaching down from his head to rub the bruise Savel had given him to fulfill that very request.

Kel: He managed to get me down before I could hurt him. I suppose I should be grateful it was a stun and not a kill.

Sadar: Resisting the Collective is near impossible to do unassisted. You managed to do so for a time to do what you considered your duty. What followed was inevitable... ::sighs:: It will no doubt be known as the darkest day in the Federation’s history. For everyone, assimilated or not. All we can do now is turn our eyes to the future, together.

He allowed his gaze to return to the vastness of space.

Kel: Its amazing we still have a future isn’t I? I suppose if nothing else we should be grateful for that.

Sadar: Response

Solas clasped his hands together and kept staring out into the void.

Kel: I don’t suppose you know if there’s anything that needs doing around the ship do you?  Leave is all well and good but after what happened I’d like to try and do something productive. Get my mind off of…..things.

Sadar: Response

Solas nodded and ran a hand through his slick black hair.

Kel: Thank you lieutenant. I….I appreciate all your help. It means a lot. I know it might not seem like much but trust me, it is.

Sadar: Response.

TAG/TBC

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Ensign Kel Solas

USS Artemis-A

Security Officer

A240101KS3