Ensign Gila Sadar - We Learn and Improve Together
Gila Sadar
((Primary Sickbay - Deck 7, USS Artemis-A))
MacKenzie: So, how have you been finding your time on the Artemis so far? I don’t often get a chance to check in with the new members of the crew – not as much as I should, anyway.
Sadar: Oh, uh… I’ve settled in quite nicely, Sir… Th-That is to say, uhh… I think I’m starting to get a handle on serving on a Starship as compared to the Academy, at least? A-And everyone’s been very helpful with integrating me into the work environment.
The Captain smiled in reciprocation to Gila’s evaluation of her initial time as an Ensign onboard the USS Artemis-A, perhaps satisfied with the fact that a recent arrival (could Gila still call herself that after six months?) found the vessel, with it’s existing crew, traditions and structures, easy to acclimatize to.
MacKenzie: I’m glad to hear that, Doctor. I remember when I first joined the Veritas as an ensign – it was not the easiest for me. I hope you’ve had a better experience than I did.
There was a familiar incredulous quality to the Captain’s admission that she had once been an Ensign as well. It was the same kind of feeling one got when realizing that one’s parents had also been children once, or that one’s teachers and instructors had been in one’s own shoes at one point. No matter how old she got, Gila found herself comforted by one of life’s few universal qualities - that those above her in the hierarchy had once been in her position, and knew at least some of the situations that Gila found herself struggling with.
Perhaps it was this realization - perhaps it was just Gila being possessed by a rare moment of courage or perhaps Gila was in reality just a tad suicidal - that caused Gila to suddenly reach out to the Captain, just as she seemed ready to depart.
Sadar: C-C-Captain!
The Captain turned to face her again, brown eyebrows raised in anticipation.
MacKenzie: Yes, Doctor Sadar?
oO This is a horrible idea, Gila Oo
Gila dismissed this mental cry, steeling herself. If she didn’t say it now, she would never muster the courage for another attempt. It had to be now.
Sadar: I-I apologize for my unseemly conduct when I first served on the Bridge, Sir! ::tips head down slightly in shame:: A-And for, uhh… The extent of time it’s taken me to give you a proper apology. I... It won’t happen again, Sir. I promise.
MacKenzie: While I appreciate your saying so, I don’t think any apology is necessary, Doctor.
Gila shook her head. Even if the Captain herself thought of the incident as minor or of little consequence, Gila knew herself well enough to realize that so long as an apology had gone unsaid, it would continue being a source of great discomfort to her, which was in direct conflict with the Captain’s request for her to ‘relax’ or ‘get used to’ the new working environment.
Sadar: Yes, Sir, b-but it’s… In order for me to… Relax, I felt it necessary to say.
A brief pause passed between the two Doctors - separated as they were by years of experience and a significant difference in responsibility - until Captain MacKenzie responded.
MacKenzie: If I might, I’d like to give you some advice – one doctor to another.
Sadar: Of course, Sir.
Gila raised her head from it’s slightly inclined position, awaiting the words of her superior officer with a healthy dose of curiosity, as well as humility. Considering the rather clumsy way she maneuvered life aboard a Starship, she’d take all the advice she could get.
MacKenzie: There are going to be things about doing this job in this place that test you. I mean, really test you. The oath to “first do no harm” will be called into question as you are faced with scenarios that you never thought you would be. It is at the very core of your duty to voice when you feel that oath might be compromised.
Was this… An attempt to comfort? Gila wasn’t sure. The Captain’s tone of voice was inscrutable at the best of times.
Sadar: Yes Sir.
The Captain continued.
MacKenzie: But, as a Starfleet officer, you also have to realize that my scope of responsibility stretches beyond any one person or group of people… But, I swore the same oath that you did, and even when my orders seem to the contrary, every decision I make is filtered through that same lens, whether I like it or not.
Gila internalized this message with slightly trembling eye folds. The fact that her Captain - Addison MacKenzie - was a fellow Doctor was something that she was aware of in the larger scheme of things, but she supposed that the synergy between the Doctor and the Captain - how it all balanced out in the end - was a conundrum that Gila had thus far been oblivious to.
oO Do no harm… Oo
Sadar: I… Yes sir. I’m sorry, I… I didn’t mean to call your integrity into question...
The Captain’s face changed slightly, indicating that she still had a point to make.
MacKenzie: What I’m trying to say is that it’s not easy. You were right to offer your objection on the bridge, but you also have to trust that my orders aren’t issued haphazardly. That said, I want this ship to be a place where all my officers, but especially the senior staff, to be able to voice their opinions and objections when they have them, without fear of retribution.
A brief pause passed as Gila worked through the Captain’s statement, trying to ascertain where that left the incident in question. It was clear to her that her behavior had been improper, but the Captain’s words about ensuring that opinions and objections to her orders were welcome also rang true in Gila’s mind. The Captain had never once approached her to rectify Gila’s behavior - except her inability to take proper shore leave - and despite the rather unfortunate clash on the Bridge, Gila’s experience as a Doctor aboard the Artemis was that this was a vessel for cooperation, learning together, ever improving. That was no coincidence. This was an atmosphere and an approach to service born of the people aboard the vessel itself...
Gila nodded, slowly.
Sadar: Yes Sir. I understand… Thank you for the advice. ::nervous attempt at a smile:: I’ll… Take it to heart.
MacKenzie: Response? (if any)
Bidding the Captain a good day, Gila took a moment to internalize all that had just happened. All in all, considering how the consultation had begun, Gila ended it feeling a great deal more hopeful about the future than before. And, perhaps, even slightly more comfortable in her own shoes?
Voor: Doctor Sadar!
The vivid shadow of a frown ghosted over her face for a fraction of a second, before she turned to face her next (un)welcome consultation.
Perhaps not that comfortable...
TAG/End Scene for Sadar
Ensign Gila Sadar
Medical Officer
USS Artemis-A
A240006GS1