Ens. Lyara Alroyo - Misplaced Trust
Lyara Alroyo
((Counselor’s Office - Deck 7, USS Artemis-A))
She took a deep breath and allowed herself to dredge up the leftover shame that still stung within her.
Lyara: Well, as you know, on the mission we encountered some Suliban and they had taken us hostage. Of course that was a little terrifyin’ but we can touch back on that later honestly if that’s ok with you?
Vhysa’lia: Certainly, you’re the one leading this session. I’m just here to help wherever I can. ::she gestured to continue:: Why don’t you just start telling me what happened, and how you felt, and I’ll interrupt if I have any questions?
Alroyo nodded in confirmation then resumed her ramble.
Lyara: After bein’ transported to the Bird-of-Prey and a brief firefight we found out they were surrenderin’. Of course, I was eager to storm the bridge and take it back, but then Maular sounded out over the Comms. It was revealed to us that they were actin’ out in desperation, they did it to secure their own future, and I played a part in stoppin’ that. And I feel like crap doin’ that to them.
She stared forward for a moment, that feeling of shame flared up inside her again. When she thought about it, the shame felt almost unbearable, but now that she had vocalized it felt worse than anything the Pah-Wraiths could inflict on her.
Vhysa’lia: This… moral quandary is obviously weighing heavily on you, and I’d like to better understand this distress you’re feeling, the roots of it. Can you elaborate more? ::pause:: Whatever you say here, it’s just between the two of us.
The mention of patient confidentiality made her feel like she could properly elaborate on her feelings towards the Suliban. It helped that if she said anything that could be seen as against Starfleet it wouldn’t leave the office.
Lyara: To be completely honest, I found myself agreein’ with his actions. I saw it the same way I saw the things resistance members did way back when. They did it because they had nothin’ else they could. And as a Bajoran, it felt wrong goin' against them when they needed help.
Vhysa’lia: ::nodding:: So you’re having trouble reconciling the actions that you’ve been taking here, with Starfleet, with the values that you developed as a child, through your species’ culture?
It sounded straightforward to Alroyo, she was the child of a Resistance member. Countless conversations at dinner about how she should stick up for others, Bajoran or otherwise. And to live true not only to the Prophets but herself, as no one deserved to experience the pain that Bajorans went through.
Lyara: Growin’ up, I was always told that the occupation shouldn’t happen to any species ever again. And that was part of my motivation to join Starfleet, I wanted to help others the same way the Federation helped Bajorans. And here I am, feelin’ like an intergalactic cop and practically tramplin’ all over my own code.
How the Emissary was able to serve Bajor while also still being part of Starfleet Alroyo couldn’t understand, let alone uphold his own code. Maybe this was a lesson, sent by the Prophets and Emissary himself. To realize that sometimes you couldn’t be a paragon of virtue, or that was what she had made up to comfort herself. Why would the Prophets try to put her in a situation where she broke her code without the choice to do so?
Vhysa’lia: That’s something incredibly difficult to grapple with, and I’m sorry you’ve been put in such a position. It seems to me like you’re dealing with some cognitive dissonance, and trying to reconcile your values with the actions taken during the mission, is causing you distress.
Lyara couldn’t have put it any better. That’s probably why Vhysa’lia was behind the desk and Alroyo was in the chair.
Vhysa’lia brought out a PADD from her desk and tapped on it a bit then slid it across the desk towards Alroyo. She picked it up and saw multiple articles on the screen for her. Great, more homework.
Vhysa’lia: Here, this might help you understand it a bit better. You don’t need to read it now, but I think it’ll help later, when you’re putting into practice some of the homework I’m going to give you. ::smile, then a slight chuckle:: I bet you thought you’d escaped that when you’d graduated from the Academy.
Alroyo chuckled, if only that were the case. Ever since she joined Operations on the Artemis there was always some new PADD to read about the specifications of whatever object she had to deliver to whatever department.
Lyara: Sadly the flow of PADDs never ends down in Ops. I have to read the manual for every little thing that gets shipped in. Or at least I'm supposed to.
Vhysa’lia: Before I get to anything I want you to do after you leave, however, I’d like to hear a bit more about the rest of the mission. You mentioned a sense of fear with being taken hostage?
Alroyo had described the process as “terrifying” earlier, but she meant it in the sense the situation itself was. But when she looked back on it, she didn’t feel scared at all, she felt mad about the whole “faking being Klingon” incident.
Lyara: I think a better word for how I felt was angry. There was an inherent sense of fear when they pulled disruptors on us, but I think I felt more betrayed by them.
Vhysa’lia: Response
She pondered divulging the “chemistry” that developed between her and Dela, and the real root of why that betrayal stung. But her session was about the mission, not an ex, so she’d divulge just enough.
Lyara: Bein’ candid, on the mission I had developed a sort of… crush I guess you could say on one of the Suliban when I thought they were Klingons? So that was where a lot of that anger from being betrayed came from. And also because I had put my full trust in not only her but the other Suliban too.
Vhysa’lia: Response
The still fresh betrayal stung as she recalled the 180 that Maular and his crew had pulled. She had even allowed herself to be bridal carried by one of them. Her attraction to one of the Suliban is what caused her to inherently trust all of them, and that got her held at disruptor point.
Lyara: It was just, very shockin’ you know? Everyone else had approached the Suliban with mistrust and I had let my guard down with them because of a girl. ::She shook her head in disbelief and chuckled:: It’s a little silly honestly.
She didn’t know how else to put it, she was too trusting and the others made the right call. It was as simple as that.
Vhysa’lia: Response
Tag/Tbc
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Ensign Lyara Alroyo
Helm/Operations Officer
USS Artemis-A
D240108LA4