Lt Jovenan – My light in the dark
Jovenan
((Corridor, Deck 3, USS Artemis))
Silveira: Are you alright Nan?
Jovenan straightened her already creaseless skant uniform in an obsessive state of fluster. She didn’t know the words to describe what she had felt just moments ago; she had been convinced she had seen and heard the Borg hunt for her again, lurk behind the turbolift doors, but there were none. She had known that very well, but somehow, she had continued to live that one day in repeat, unable to find peace from it. It was wrong, she realised that, it was something she needed to get away from… but she also didn’t want to speak about it.
It was stupid. Imagining such things. It was not suitable for an officer of her rank and a department chief, the least to a scientist whose duty was to tell apart truth from fiction. And she had given Vitor, of all the people, a reason to doubt her mental fortitude. He was strong and dependable, the person who had rescued her multiple times during the attack, and she couldn’t even take a turbolift drive without falling into panic.
Jovenan: I’m fine. Thank you, and, um, sorry. Good night!
She turned quickly away from him and walked past, quickly pacing along the corridor towards the crew quarters. Not even looking at him any more, she felt too embarrassed to even wait for him to respond in her goodbye.
Silveira: Good night.
Vitor’s form and soothing voice became muffled as she scurried down the corridor. She felt bad for having done that to him, but as her mind was again filling with images of death and decay, those thoughts were quickly pushed aside. Her legs became weak while her gaze arose from the floor and down the corridor. There were several bends and corners she couldn’t see behind, and even if it was well-lit, her mind filled in the blanks with shadows. And in those shadows dwelled creatures, figures of her imagination no doubts, each with sickly pale skin and lifeless eyes, and they moved their cold lips in unison, speaking of one mind words of death. Should she walk past them, she would invite them to her quarters and into her dreams, given that her faint heart would allow her to slumber at all. Breathing irregularly, she made the choice to turn around and rush back to where Vitor still waited.
Jovenan: Actually, Vitor, would you mind if I joined you? If you’re not busy, of course. I… I could have some company right now.
It was almost humiliating to return so soon after leaving with such clumsy good-night, but she very much preferred his company to the creatures in the dark. Vitor didn’t seem to take notice of such ungraceful behaviour from her behalf, and instead just smiled and tipped his head to the turbolift. He did it so easily, smile, that she almost could smile as well. It was infectious, it was his superpower.
Silveira: I am more than done for the day. And I noticed… I almost followed you but… I didn’t want to impose…
Jovenan: Oh? Um, thank you.
It was amazing how by single line he could be both so caring and considerate. She didn’t know what else to think of that; she couldn’t remain embarrassed by her awkwardness when he was being such a good friend about it. Besides, his presence kept the monsters away, as she had hoped for.
Guided by his gesture, Jovenan stepped onto the turbolift car. Taking their places, she looked up at him, noticing that there was something unusual in his expression. The humans and the Edo expressed emotions almost identically, so that she had only rarely misinterpreted faces due to cross-cultural barrier – for other reasons, often – but now she couldn’t tell what the blush on his cheeks, the poorly controlled smile and the wandering gaze signified. Had she perhaps done something wrong?
Silveira: How about we go to the Elysium? Not all replictors are working but most of the bottles survived.
Jovenan: That sounds good to me. I, um, don’t know much about the drinks they might have, but I can try if you guide me through. ::to the computer:: Elysium.
Vitor nodded to the idea, and the turbolift began its steady hurl downwards.
Silveira: I… Have… Have you been eating properly?
Jovenan looked straight at his face for a few seconds. She was not a stranger to fumbling in words, but he had done so rarely, if ever, as she could recall – maybe when he had been asked about his relation to her sister-across-the-universes. He was clearly affected by something; few people could shoulder witnessing such destruction without feeling a thing. Perhaps he needed her company as much as she needed his.
Jovenan: Well, um, not really. Not since the previous shoreleave, and not even then with the incident in the cave and all that. Except our cooking date, of course. Have – have you?
Silveira: Response
Jovenan: Let’s see if they have something to eat, then. Maybe we could make this an eating date as well.
“Eating date”? Like the cooking date they had, but with eating. So, a small dinner with a friend? A fumble in words, but hoped Vitor saw her logic in it.
Silveira: Response
The turbolift arrived to its destination, and the doors opened. Jovenan didn’t even register at first how much this ride differed from the one she had taken earlier. The conversation with Vitor had occupied her mind sufficiently to draw her attention from imagining sounds and threats. In a way, he had banished them just by his presence. When she realised it, they had already left the turbolift and walked towards the doors to Elysium. She felt relieved, safe, and almost peaceful.
The ship’s lounge was quieter than usual. While some might have been visiting similar facilities down on the planet, most were no doubt processing the events in their own ways. Some sought solitude, some comfort of companionship, while a few pushed such thoughts violently aside and acted as if nothing had happened.
Walking to the bar, Jovenan looked at the various bottles and pointed them out to Vitor.
Jovenan: Do you think one of those would be good?
Silveira: Response
Sitting down, Jovenan sighed. She wanted to talk with Vitor about many things, about her lingering fears and doubts, about how grateful she was of him rescuing her and now keeping her company, about how much she liked being with him. He seemed to have something on his heart as well. And yet, she didn’t know how to begin or if she really wanted to start, either. She decided to go with something which she believed was personal, but was neither invasive nor too emotional.
Jovenan: You have family on Earth, right, in Portugal? Are you going to visit them?
Silveira: Response
TAG/TBC
----
Lieutenant Jovenan
Chief Science Officer
USS Artemis-A
E239911J11