Lt Jovenan – ... won't be any different
Jovenan
((Rakantha Central Hospital, Bajor))
Jovenan tried to keep her composure, but still, she couldn’t prevent the tear falling off of her eye. It demanded her attention, slowly making its way down her cheek, reminding her with a clear yet foggy realisation: guilty, guilty, guilty. It burned her skin and every fibre.
No matter her diligent preparation, good intentions, or nearly self-sacrificial attempts to rectify her errors, she had caused people under her charge to be injured. She had had the duty of care, and by allowing, even if not willingly so, harm to be caused to those under her care, she had made herself guilty of that injury.
She was being reprimanded. It was something… new to her.
MacKenzie: Do you have anything to say?
Jovenan: C-captain, if I may use this occasion to commend on the b-bravery of Ensigns Savel, Gnai and Chevalier. Their actions and d-dedication prevented any further injury.
She hated the fact that the teardrop and her wavering voice revealed her internal turmoil. The Captain nodded slowly, without visibly addressing Jovenan’s obvious weakness, though she knew it would come to affect her in the future. Much had happened that day that would come to affect them all in the future, most so Ensign Chevalier.
MacKenzie: I’ll take that into consideration. ::pointing:: Go check in on your team.
Jovenan: ::lowers head, defeated:: Aye, Captain.
Multiple feelings, in conflict with one another, roamed in Jovenan’s mind as she turned away from the Captain and they approached Chevalier’s hospital bed once more. Besides guilt, regret, self-pity and worry, she noticed a sliver of an emotion she couldn’t name. She knew that had she switched places with her sister-across-the-universes and served on a Divine Fleet vessel, there would poison rushing through her veins for the last few beats she had. But in this universe, among these people, mercy prevailed, and mercy was often more judgemental than justice.
She placed her hands on the railing and looked at Chevalier’s body. Covered by a blanket and surgical dressings, it was difficult to see the full extent of his injuries, but they were massive, and they would have been lethal had they taken any more seconds to come here. Whatever feelings she might have had just seconds ago, they receded and given way to sincere worry.
Jovenan: J… Ensign Chevalier. How much do you remember of what happened?
She watched as Chevalier tried to speak, but it was obvious he was in no condition to talk right now. As his eyelids closed and he – despite any struggles he might have had to not to – fell asleep, Jovenan kept looking at him. She considered wiping his forehead with her hand but stopped herself and pulled back her hand mid-air just after letting go of the railing, before she’d touch him.
For a few more seconds, she kept looking at him sleep, until the Captain’s voice broke the silence and, as Jovenan turned her head to her, she saw the Captain looking at her specifically.
MacKenzie: Have him transferred to the Artemis sickbay. I expect regular reports on his progress.
Jovenan: Of course, Captain.
Gnai: Response
The Captain turned and walked away, each of her step echoing the weight of her menacing presence. Jovenan didn’t look back, but instead focused on Chevalier once more. Seeing him like this kept bringing up the images from the cave, and from the Artemis morgue just from the previous shore leave, all mixed together and bordering a fever dream.
She broke contact with Chevalier’s slumbering body and turned to Gnai, who was still with them.
Jovenan: I’ll have someone get us and the shuttle back to the ship. You can go ahead, if you want, you don’t have to wait us here.
Gnai: Response
Jovenan let go off the railing of the hospital bed and looked around, finding a chair she could position so that she could sit near Chevalier. As she sat, she wanted to rub the aching shoulder where a shrapnel had been removed in the operation earlier, but she chose to wait until at least the Ensign was on its way.
Jovenan: And Ensign… Thank you for coming. And sorry. Maybe the next time…
She paused. She didn’t know how to end that sentence. Instead, she gave Gnai a subdued yet forced smile.
Gnai: Response
((OOC: This “mini-mission” sure went to places! Thank you for participating, everyone!))
TAG/End scene for Jovenan
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Lieutenant Jovenan
Chief Science Officer
USS Artemis-A
E239911J11