Lt. Connor Dewitt - New Beginnings

[Tim Plath]

((Counseling Suite, USS Arrow))

Dewitt: I don't think I'll ever be over it or will have processed it. I
think it will forever be there - sometimes I can live with it -
sometimes I am crying about it. I just want to learn how to get those
feelings under control. The fear of something happening that I have no
control over... and the sadness caused by all the things that already
have happened.

Berry: Well, I suppose that when trying to suppress emotions, Vulcans
are the best. Have you ever tried asking one how they do it? Maybe you
could make use of their techniques, if possible.

Connor raised his eyebrows. He had been offered a lot of advice during
recent years by both R'Ariel as well as his friends, but suppressing his
feelings was never among those. He asked himself how serious Berry was
at this moment. Suppressing feelings did not sound healthy - at least
not for a human like himself.

Dewitt: I think it would be either my heart or my head that would be
exploding in that attempt. And although I like logic, I am not sure
there's enough unconditional love for it.

Connor smiled as he phrased his answer, still not sure if the Counselor
considered it a valid option.

Berry: Hmm... Guess that's not viable. Have you tried engaging in
certain activities, that may have helped with controlling your feelings?

Ah... The famous question about resources. He had talked about it with
R'Ariel multiple times. There were certain activities he knew made him
stronger - and more resilient. One of the many accomplishments of the
last year. Spending time with Ayemet was one of those. Looking at the
stars with Vincent and discussing the daily business of the ship and
their lives was another thing he had learned to cherish. Or spending
time in nature - whenever he got the chance. But options on starships
were limited.

Dewitt: I've got a few things that I think make me more resilient. Most
of it is prevention, though. But if it was not enough, I only discover
it in the moment.

He paused for a moment and thought about it. He never had gotten this
issue pinned down as he had done right now.

Dewitt: I guess I would have to be aware in the situation that the
feelings might be an overreaction - and store them until I have the time
and chance to assess if they are appropriate to the situation... If that
makes any sense.

Connor noticed Ensign Berry's signs of fatigue and asked himself if it
would be better to leave. Usually, these sessions took a little longer,
but he knew about the stress of coming aboard and making yourself
comfortable in a new situation - on a new ship, with a new crew.

Berry: Hmm... Sounds like a great alternative.

Dewitt: ::nodding:: I am just lacking the awareness - and maybe the
discipline.

Great, that's another thing a Vulcan might be able to help with. He
really was not excited to follow down that road. Connor was
compassionate and valued his feelings, although sometimes they were a
hurdle.

Berry: Response

Dewitt: You're not suggesting some kind of mantra I keep on my bathroom
mirror?

Berry: Response

Well, why the hell not? It might create awareness in a way - at least
every morning and every evening. And hopefully, someday, in between, too.

Connor emptied his tea and looked at his PADD before standing up.

Dewitt: Well, I guess I have been taking enough of your time for today.
I vow that we'll see each other sooner than in a year. ::nervous smile::

Berry: Response

Dewitt: :nodding:: I'll work on it. ::repeating what Berry said in his
own words:: More awareness of the situation to be able to react... got it.

Connor put down his empty mug on the Counselor's desk. It was sitting
right where R'Ariel had usually been sitting when they were talking. A
smile went over his lips. He certainly did not feel the same comfort
with Berry as he did with R'Ariel. But maybe today was a good first
session to get to know each other. It was different - of course. But who
knew what could come of it.

Dewitt: ::turning around to Berry:: I am glad we did this today.

Berry: Response

Dewitt: ::smiling, nodding to the boxes:: If you need any help unpacking
or settling in with the crew, let me know. I am always open for an
evening at the Bow.

Berry: Response

Connor nodded and gave the Ensign another smile before he exited the
small counseling suite.

Tag/END

--
Lt. Connor Dewitt
Engineer
USS Arrow
A239901CD3