Commander Lael Rosek-Skyfire: Back to the Beginning
Lael Rosek-Skyfire
((Counseling Care Center, Medical Center, Mezzanine Level))
Lael had pulled out a PADD to peruse the latest edition of the Starfleet Journal of Engineering while she waited. A little birdie had told her there was an article in this month’s edition that might be of interest. And they weren’t wrong.
Nanotechnology had long been a controversial subject within Starfleet due to its connections with the Borg and after the latest Frontier Day catastrophe, it was facing even more stigma. Various news outlets and gossip rags had been swirling with rumors of a tougher crackdown on its use, though as far as she knew, they were just that–rumors.
It was natural that people were afraid of it. That was often the way of it. People feared what they didn’t understand and couldn’t control. While many believed the Borg to be long gone, there were some who thought there were still drones out there, rebuilding and adapting.
Would they choose a new queen or would their newfound individuality make them even more dangerous? God only knew.
Nevark: Commander Lael Rosek-Skyfire
When she heard her name, she rose to greet Counselor Nevark, who she’d had the pleasure of working with briefly this last mission.
Rosek-Skyfire: ::offers her hand:: Nice to see you again.
Nevark: ::shaking her hand:: And you. Come on in.
She was familiar with the routine by now and it had become less nerve-wracking over the years. However, she didn’t quite know Nevark well enough to open up completely.
That would take time.
Nevark: ::Gesturing to the options in the room:: Please feel free to make yourself comfortable.
She selected one of the armchairs, not quite comfortable enough to slide onto the couch. That represented vulnerability and she needed to remain guarded today.
Nevark: Honestly, I get that counselling is not everyone's favourite thing. So I try to make it as open and comfortable as possible. People can sit where they want, we can do what works best for them. And I will speak to them in whatever way they feel most comfortable. ::Tilting her head slightly:: With that in mind please feel free to call me Layla, Counsellor, Lieutenant, whatever is the most comfortable for you. Is there anything you would like me to address you by? Or even anything you don’t want me to say.
Her rank was safe. It created a barrier and anonymity that kept things from getting too personal. Slipping into that calm command persona would be so easy, the part of her that outwardly maintained control even when everything around her was going to hell. She’d had to become that person for her crew–for those she served with.
But the part of her that really needed this didn’t have a rank, but rather had a name. Her rank hadn’t protected her that day. The only thing that had kept her from being assimilated like the others was a combination of age and her strong mind.
Still. She’d experienced everything both as an outsider and as a victim. It had been impossible in that moment to separate her feelings from the voices in her mind and the overwhelming fear that made it impossible to breathe.
It had been a waking nightmare.
Not long after, she’d joined an anonymous support group for survivors of the Frontier Day attacks, but hadn’t felt quite right about being there. She wasn’t a victim the same way as the others. Even all this time later, what she’d experienced that day had stuck with her.
Rosek-Skyfire: ::smiles wanly:: Lael is fine. Commander Rosek doesn’t need the help. I do.
The concession was significant, one that it had taken her some time to acknowledge to herself. It had gotten easier to say aloud, but still threatened to send her into a dissociative episode each time.
Fortunately, Chythar had begun to recognize the signs and was able to either sit with her in it until she pulled herself out or pull her out. The success of either really depended on what had triggered her and what specific memory she was reliving.
It could hit her out of nowhere.
Chythar had told her more than once how disconcerting it was. They’d be talking and laughing one minute, and the next, something he said or did would trigger a memory. Her eyes would glaze over and her face would lose all expression. He would say her name and she wouldn’t respond.
He’d started keeping a miniature emergency medkit in every room of their quarters in case she hurt herself. The anxiety medications had been helping until she’d found out she was pregnant. The drugs were too big of a risk to the children, so she’d needed to attend two therapy sessions per week–one for cognitive behavioral therapy and one for dialectical behavior therapy–rather than one with her medical team ready to increase it to three if needed.
She’d been on the verge of another episode on their anniversary. But, as always, Chythar’s impeccable timing and their psionic bond had saved the day. He’d provided the perfect distraction in the form of a lovely dinner and a night in–just in case she did have an episode.
Rosek-Skyfire: oO God, but I love that man. Oo
Nevark: Well is there anything in particular you would like to talk about ::gesturing to craft corner:: or do? Or just a general catch up check in? ::chuckling:: Or do you want me to stop talking and let you explore the space a bit more and then you can decide?
Where to begin.
Rosek-Skyfire: I’m sure you can see by my record that I was aboard one of the ships where assimilated attempted to take control during the events of Frontier Day.
Nevark: Response
Slow. She had to take it slow or she’d talk herself right into another episode.
Rosek-Skyfire: ::exhales shakily:: We lost a lot of people that day. So many…
Her lips thinned and she forced herself to return to facts. Facts were safe. Facts couldn’t hurt her.
Nevark: Response
Rosek-Skyfire: I’m a telepath and empath. ::pauses:: But my abilities are a little unusual. For my kind, this would typically mean these abilities only work with Al-Leyans and Humans, if the thoughts and feelings are strong enough, for the most part, the species doesn’t matter. Of course, there are limitations and exceptions. For example, Rodulans and Ferengi.
Nevark: Response
Rosek-Skyfire: ::exhales:: I heard them and felt them. The assimilated, I mean. With exceptions, but…so many voices and so much fear. It was like nothing I’ve ever felt. ::closes her eyes:: The only thing that kept me from giving in was my crew. ::opens her eyes:: I was temporarily in command and had to stay in control. If I didn’t, people would get hurt.
Nevark: Response