Lt Charlena Vanlith - Scars of past and present
S Philbrook
((Antaak Wing, Level 9, Security and Medical Center, Amity Outpost))
She smiled, she meant it. She had never tried it but it was the first thing that actually sounded nice.
Rosek-Skyfire: ::nods:: I’m happy to get some for you, if your doctor approves. Then we can either talk about something you’re comfortable with, play a bit of music on low volume, or just sit and enjoy the quiet.
Char nodded.
Vanlith: Yeah, we might have to check on that. ::groaning as she shifted to sit more upright:: Sorry I am still a bit out of it really. I don’t want to be dependant on the pain meds.
Rosek-Skyfire: ::smiles wanly:: Yeah, I can understand that.
Char, now more upright, looked to Lael.
Vanlith: I guess I feel like I deserve it really. The pain. A reminder that when someone tells you to get out you should do that. Instead of well…
She trailed off. She had ignored Kaito’s warning. Ignored the person with the information telling her to get out. This was entirely her own fault.
Rosek-Skyfire: ::slowly:: We all make unwise choices on occasion and face painful consequences. But I hope you know that you have an experienced team that is more than happy to help you navigate through those consequences.
Vanlith: I won’t dwell too much I just. It’s hard.
Rosek-Skyfire: ::nods:: What you’ve been through is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I would be concerned if it wasn’t hard. ::pauses:: It’s also a life-changing experience. No one expects you to be okay right away. This kind of healing takes time, and it works best when you stay honest with yourself and ask for help when you need it.
Char forced a smile to her face and nodded. But right now the last thing wanted was to be anyone else's burden. This was something she had to deal with. No one else had to deal with it and she didn’t want anyone to feel forced to deal with it. This was the consequences of not listening, this was the consequences of thinking she had the capabilities to beat the facts. This was her fault and she couldn’t, she wouldn’t make anyone else suffer through that. Being honest. That was something she could do at least. Honestly, she was not the same, honestly, she wan;t a good enough engineer to do what she had tried to do. Honestly, this was her fault. She had flown too close to the sun and this was the repayment she got for that.
Vanlith: ::nodding:: Yeah. I need to be honest with myself.
Rosek-Skyfire: Have you talked to your medical team and a counselor about a discharge plan?
Discharge plan? Discharge felt so far away at this point.
Vanlith: What do you mean?
Rosek-Skyfire: For example, after my spinal replacement, I was on bedrest for about a week or two, then got authorized to return to light duty. It was a bit before I could return to normal duty. And I had to attend more frequent sessions with my counselor to help with my emotional recovery. ::grins unamusedly:: It also didn’t help that I had unresolved romantic feelings for my best friend that I was hiding from, who, ironically, participated in my surgery. ::shakes her head:: It was a mess. ::pauses:: But having those supports helped me not go crazy and do something stupid that would land me right back in that biobed.
Char looked down at her hands, the burns finally having eased up enough she could use them without pain but the scaring was visible. It wasn’t as bad as she thought it might be but it was there. She slowly showed her hand to Lael.
Vanlith: I don’t really do healing like most people do. I guess some would call it unnecessary but I want my body to do it as much by itself as possible. So..
She trialled off trying to find the words. It was hard explaining this to people but she didn’t want too much intervention. She didn’t want any if she could help it. Even getting her to take any kind of pain meds had been a battle for the medical team.
Rosek-Skyfire: Response
Vanlith: Yeah at this point discharge is a long way off still.
Rosek-Skyfire: Response
Suddenly char smiled and laughed as something Lael said hit her and then she groaned clutching her ribs.
Vanlith: Ok firstly, warn me if you’re going to make me laugh. Secondly, you were hiding from a crush? You were hiding? I find that very hard to believe.
The Lael she knew would never have gone into hiding so this was a whole different side to Lael she was seeing.
Rosek-Skyfire: Response
Lt Charlena Vanlith
Engineering
Amity Outpost
V239604CV0