Lieutenant Ikaia Wong - Where the Sun Doesn't Shine

[Ka Banning]

((Sonic showers - Shower Area - Pools - Talaxi Palms - Amity Outpost))

Wong: =/\= Please just anything would do this point! =/\=

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= I’m sorry, Lieutenant, you’ll have to repeat your requisition request again. =/\=

Ikaia pinched the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath reminding himself to be patient. The turbolift didn’t always reach the top deck with Phan’ta’go right away. But it usually got there. But perhaps it was better if Ikaia were more direct.

 

Wong: =/\=I need clothes, please.=/\=

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= Are you able to state what happened to your current uniform? =/\=

At least that was a reasonable question.

 

Wong: =/\=I don’t know. I stepped into the shower after a swim and when I stepped out, everything was gone. I’m assuming good faith and someone took it in error. But it’s not here.=/\=

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= I see. I can always transport you to a replicator, but also as you know a site-to-site transporter that is not an emergency requires form Gamma-One-Five-Six-Gamma. “Request for a site-to-site transport on amity Outpost”. =/\=

 

Oh no. Oh no no no no……

Wong: =/\=Let… let me get this straight - you want me to go waltzing out there naked to look for a replicator?! =/\=

Ikaia poked his head out of the shower stall for a moment. 

Wong: =/\=Are you out of your mind?! I’m not using a replicator naked.=/\= 

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= You’ll have to fill that in first, I’m afraid. =/\=

Ikaia raised an eyebrow skeptically. Was there really a form for naked replicator use? Phan’ta’go was many things - but he wasn’t sure he’d use bureaucracy to mess with him.

 

Wong: =/\=Okay. You know what? Skip the replicator. Just… transport me a new uniform.=/\=

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= Hello, Lieutenant? =/\=

 

Wong: =/\= Yes? =/\=

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= Can you hear me? =/\=

Another pinch to the bridge of his nose.

 

Wong: =/\=Yes, I can hear you, Phan’ta’go.=/\=

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= The feeling in the booth here is that you’re not co-operating.  =/\=

 

Wong: =/\=I’d say at this point the feeling is mutual. I sincerely hope you’re considering doing as I have asked, right? =/\=

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= Actually, I do have another solution. Just a mo’. =/\=

Another solution? Ikaia was almost dreading the solution that Phan’ta’go had in mind. All he could hear was the rhythmic typing over the comms.

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= Hi Ensign Saavei, can you hear me? =/\=

 

OH NO. HELL NO. HOW IS HE MAKING THIS WORSE?!?

Saavei: =/\= Response =/\=

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= This is Crewman Phan’ta’go, acting transporter operator for Transporter Centre 3 today. =/\=

 

Saavei: =/\= Response =/\=

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= Can you hear me? =/\=

 

Saavei: =/\= Response =/\=

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= Lieutenant Wong has reported an unknown fault with the sonic showers at the Talaxi Palms hotel. I understand the hotel is under the purview of Starfleet Engineering, are you able to inspect? =/\=

If he was trying to be discreet, he was doing a terrible job of it!

 

Wong: =/\=What?! Crewman C’lem Phan’ta’go! You know what the issue is and there’s nothing unknown about it!=/\=

Ikaia took a deep breath for a moment. If this was Saavei’s first introduction to Phan’ta’go, he felt very sorry for her.

Wong: =/\=I’m very sorry, Saavei. I didn’t mean for you to get dragged into this!=/\=

Saavei: =/\= Response =/\=

 

Phan’ta’go: =/\= Hello Lieutenant Wong, are you a Betazoid by any chance? We could fill out form Beta-Nine-Gamma-Six-Five, cultural exception form, and submit that to the FDC for processing. You should get an answer in a day or two. =/\=

 

Wong: =/\=I’m Klingon! There IS no cultural exception for that! =/\=

The last thing he needed was to step out and show off to everyone his own “Betazoid Bob.” Let alone spending his time trapped in the shower for one or two days.

 

Saavei: =/\= Response =/\=

Phan’ta’go/Saavei: Response

Wong: =/\=As far as I’m aware, there’s no Betazoid weddings going on today either.=/\=

Phan’ta’go/Saavei: Response

Ikaia sighed. Here he was trapped in the shower by his own nudity. The dumbest way to get trapped anywhere.

Wong: =/\=Saavei, how do you feel about a promotion to Head Phan’ta’go Field Wrangler?=/\=  

Phan’ta’go/Saavei: Response

Lieutenant Ikaia Wong PA-C

Medical Student (MD)

Amity Outpost

V239711IW0