Lieutenant Ikaia Wong - Urine Trouble
Ka Banning
((Sickbay, USS Kepler, - en route to UAW territory – 25 MIN REMAINING))
Wong: Time’s up. They’re already here.
Varati: Wait, who is here...?
Ikaia held up the palms of one of his hands. The macrovirus was smeared across it like a gory Jackson Pollok.
Varati: Wait… What?! :: cursing:: !$#@!! So this is the macrovirus? I think I need to go to the toilet again... for other reasons...
Before Ikaia could say anything more, the comms went off again.
Iko: =/\= Iko to Wong. Report. =/\=
Varati: =/\= Varati to Bridge: We may have a problem… =/\=
Wong: =/\=We currently have macroviruses and they’ve already started to emerge and they’re about the size of a mosquito and growing. We have them contained so far. But please remain vigilant.=/\=
Iko: =/\= What? =/\=
Wong: =/\=The macroviruses are here. We do have further instructions for you——=/\=
And that was when Varati chimed in.
Varati: =/\= We may have a somewhat unusual solution… =/\=
Wong: =/\=Ahem. We do actually have a solution. It is unconventional, however.=/\=
Iko: =/\= Keep us posted, and do what you can. =/\=
Varati: =/\= If everyone who can could maybe go to the toilet briefly... with that, we could use the ammonia and phosgene supplies on board to produce highly concentrated urea, add ethanol or choline, and then hopefully have a hypospray that will literally thwart our "mosquito macrovirus." We just need the help of the healthy crew... Sorry… =/\=
Wong: =/\=in short you are uh…. Going to have to create synthetic urine. I don’t think I need to get into layman’s terms here.=/\=
Varati: Now we're in a fine mess... I'll ask someone from engineering if they can transfer "the stuff" into a tank or beam it up for us. We just need to add the other components according to the chemistry textbook, like in a lab, and then fill the containers. Then we'll have a kind of mosquito repellent against our flying virus.
They couldn’t go to a lab or anywhere else for that matter. Not while they are quarantined in sickbay. Ikaia heard another buzz and smacked it in his hands. Once again, it was another macrovirus.
Varati: =/\= Tenille? (NPC): Could you please pipe some urea from the toilets into a canister or small tank for us? … Yes, I know, unusual. I only need a small amount to ‘prime’ the synthetic urea from the replicator... =/\= ::to Wong:: Don't look at me like that... that's not how I imagined it either. We can't just keep shooting the proteins everywhere with a phaser.
Ikaia raised an eyebrow.
Tenille (NPC): =/\= What?! … I'll see what I can do... =/\=
Wong: Right. Well. That only leaves….
Varati: We need to inform Saavei and Juriton! And beam them a load right away, even if the gel packs on the Enterprise are already too deteriorated to be frozen…
Yes. Them too! They also needed to be informed as they are in the belly of the beast itself.
Varati: =/\= Saavei?! We'll send you a backup in case the gel packs can no longer be frozen... UrCho spray. Better not ask what's in it. =/\=
He glanced at Varati.
Wong: =/\=You’re going to need to know what’s in it.=/\=
Varati: Response
Wong: =/\=It’s a compound synthesized with urine - either synthetic or uh… natural if you can get it from a healthy source.=/\=
He glanced at her with a shrug. Of course he was trying to be diplomatic about it! It’s not every day when the solution is to pee on the bloody thing!
Varati: Response
Wong: Then there’s us. I’d still like to obtain a few viruses as samples for future study. But for now, we need to eliminate them before they grow too much larger.
Varati: Response
Wong: Then the plan is as follows - treat our patients and eliminate viruses as we see them. I’d say it’d be easy. But this is more like conducting surgery while being bombarded by asteroids.
Varati: Response
Lieutenant Ikaia Wong MD
Acting Chief Medical Officer
Amity Outpost
V239711IW0