Lt. Cmdr Robin Hopper: Wil Offends An Entire Planet Quite Single-Handedly
Robin Hopper
((OOC – Thank you to Ensign Gila Sadar for the title suggestion!))
((Launch Field – Fana 2977-B))
The alien being (perhaps better described as “local inhabitant” given that Robin and Wil were, in fact the “aliens” in this scenario) wearing blue stepped forward, studying Wil’s gesture. While it was hard to be certain, Robin thought she sensed that this representative was nervous as well – but when it spoke, all bets about what they were feeling flew out the window.
Being: ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ✦ ♫ ✧ ⋆⋆⋆ ♩ ✦ ♪ ✦ ⋆⋆⋆ ♫ ✧ ♪ ✧ ⋆⋆⋆ ♬ ♪ ♪ ✦ ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ✧ ♩ ♫ ⋆⋆⋆
Robin blinked. The language of the locals was… unique, to say the least. And the Universal Translator hadn’t seemed to have made heads nor tails of it. Pressed to describe it, one might say it was ‘melodic’, not unlike some sort of song comprised of simple harmonic resonance frequencies shifting delicately in pitch.
She exchanged a furtive glance with Wil, before the two of them turned back to the choral delegation.
Ukinix: ::Slowly raising palm:: I am Commander Wil Ukinix, and ::gesturing towards Robin:: this is Lieutenant Commander Robin Hopper. We are from the United Federation of Planets, we detected your warp vessel. We… come in peace.
She looked across the assembled faces before them, trying to look confident – but not, you know, too confident. And friendly – but not, you know, too friendly. Their expressions were, however, mostly blank… perhaps bemused by an equally-incomprehensible response to their greeting.
Ukinix: Hi? ::slight shrug::
The person in the blue flowing outfit stepped forward, and began to speak.
Being: ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ✦ ♫ ✧ ⋆⋆⋆ ♩ ✦ ♪ ✦ ⋆⋆⋆ ♫ ✧ ♪ ✧ ⋆⋆⋆ ♬ ♪ ♪ ✦ ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ✧ ♩ ♫ ⋆⋆⋆
Wil glanced at Robin nervously, who simply gave a subtle shrug back. It seemed their vocal physiology and thought patterns were unique, which was making it tough for the Universal Translator to make sense of their melodic language. Wil turned to look back at the people, while Robin lifted her tricorder.
Hopper: The UT is working on it… ::Smiling nervously:: Try talking to them some more, get them speaking?
Ukinix: ::Under his breath:: Oh geez… ::Speaking up:: Um… ::pointing to combadge:: This device on my chest normally allows us to communicate, if you can understand me, keep speaking, it will learn and we’ll soon be able to understand you, and you us! ::Toothy Smile::
Being: ⋆⋆ ♪ ♩ ⋆ ♫ ♪ ⋆⋆⋆ ♬ ♩ ♪ ⋆⋆⋆⋆ ⋆♫ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♫ ♬ ⋆⋆⋆
Robin watched the indicators on her tricorder bouncing around as the UT’s algorithms tried to latch onto some familiar pattern, develop a codex for unraveling their mysterious language. Other species used melodic intonation in their speech… there was something distinct about this language, something that even the translation matrix, informed by hundreds of cultures, couldn’t quite parse.
Ukinix: Um… ::clears through, then singing:: Kook-a-burra sits on the old-gum-treeee-ee, me-rry-me-rry king of the bush is heee-ee… laugh, kook-a-burra laugh-
Being: ((Semi-Translated)) ♩ ♪ ♬ ✦ ⋆ ♪ ♬ ♫ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆⋆ Planet ⋆⋆⋆ ♫ ♩ ⋆ You ⋆ ♪ ♪ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♫ ⋆⋆ Us ⋆⋆ ♩ ♩ ♬ ⋆⋆
Well! That seemed to be accomplishing something.
Hopper: It’s working. Slowly. And I can’t vouch for its accuracy, but try saying something now… They might be able to understand it if you use very basic phrases.
Ukinix: ::Palms out:: We crashed. ::Pointing to shuttle, before sliding hand through air:: Spaceship go “boom”. ::Hands on chest:: Help?
Again, there was silence as the beings all looked at each other.
Ukinix: Or shot of vodka, maybe?
Being: ((Semi-Translated)) ♪ ♫ ♬ ⋆⋆⋆⋆ Bring ✧ ⋆⋆⋆ ♬ you ⋆ ⋆♫ ✦ ♫ ✧ ⋆⋆⋆ ⋆ Leader ⋆ ♩ ♩ ♪ ♬
Robin chewed her lip subconsciously, her brow furrowing ever-so-slightly as she did her best to continue appearing optimistic about the situation.
Hopper: ::Quietly, to Wil:: Are they saying they’re going to… “Bring us to their leader”?
Ukinix: ::Quietly back to Robin:: I- dunno. I guess so? ::Speaking up to creatures, nodding:: Sure! Leader, ::thumbs up:: good. “Bring”.
The blue-clad being turned to its fellows.
Being: ((Semi-Translated)) ✧ ♩ ♫ ⋆⋆⋆ see ⋆⋆ ♫ ♪ ⋆ classified ⋆⋆ ♪ ♩ ⋆ ⋆ what to do ♪ ✧ ♩ ♫ ⋆⋆⋆
The one in silver replied.
Being2: ((Semi-Translated)) ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♪ ♬ ⋆ no ⋆⋆ ♫ ♪ ⋆ precedent ⋆ ⋆♫ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♫ ⋆ answers ⋆ ♩ ♩ ♪ ♬ mystery.
The one in blue turned their attention back to Robin and Wil.
Being: ((Semi-Translated)) ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♪ ♬ ⋆ discovery ⋆⋆ ♫ ♪ ⋆ come ⋆ ⋆♫ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♫ ⋆ paak ⋆ ♩ ♩ ♪ ♬ leadership ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♪ ♬ ⋆ .
Ukinix: ::Quietly to Robin:: The UT needs to *hurry up*.
The being raised their hands above their head, and pressed their fingers together into a triangle. Robin squinted, watching the gesture carefully.
Xeno-anthropology was not Hopper’s specialty, but she’d studied enough alien cultures to understand that signs like this could either be widely-applicable, like the Human wave or the Vulcan salute… or they could be sacred, intended only for specific parties, like the Dervish Prayers of the Sufi or rituals used in the ordination of Bajoran Vedeks.
Trying to ascertain which kind of gesture this was could be crucial to keeping the peace.
Being: ((Semi-Translated)) ⋆⋆⋆ our ♪ ♪ ♬ ⋆ ✦ ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ✧ hurt ⋆ ⋆♫ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♫ ⋆ harm us ♫ ✧ ⋆⋆⋆ paak ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♪ ♬ ⋆ judge your intentions.
Ukinix: ::polite nod:: Yes, take us to your leader. oO Did I just *actually* say that? Oo We mean you no harm, we are from a peaceful civilisation. ::Hand on chest:: Peaceful
Being: ((Semi-Translated)) Paak will ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♪ ♬ ⋆ ⋆⋆ ♫ ♪ ⋆ spirit ⋆ ⋆♫ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♫ ⋆ our people ⋆ ♩ ♩ ♪ ♬ ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♪ ♬ ⋆ and love.
Paak. What was that? They’d said it twice now. She ran through the word in her head, wondering why the UT hadn’t translated it to something familiar. At times, the translator would leave certain culturally-significant terms (including certain expletives) untranslated – but this was usually the result of direct input from the civilization in question and required a fair amount of bureaucracy, followed by Federation-wide “patches” to the linguistics mainframes of all Universal Translators… it was not something the algorithm would know to do with an unfamiliar language on its own.
Before she could think on it further, however, the being put their hands on their chest and bowed their head. The line of soldierly beings then stepped forward, their weapons lowered (but not holstered), and Robin and Wil were gestured towards one of the vehicles.
Ukinix: ::Out of the corner of his mouth:: I think they want us to go in that thing.
Hopper: ::Softly:: Yeah. ::Glancing at her tricorder:: Seems harmless enough, to me.
Ukinix: Let’s just do what they say. Hopefully the UT can catch up.
She let out a little sigh, looking back momentarily at their crashed shuttle, before turning back to face the approaching ‘soldiers’.
Hopper: Okay. Here goes nothing.
The soldiers surrounded the Starfleet officers, then led them to the vehicle. In the meantime, another group of the reflective beings slowly made their way forward towards the Daintree, holding their weapons up while inching closer towards it.
Ukinix: ::Speaking to military:: Just tell them “careful”. “Gentle”.
Military Being: ((Semi-Translated)) ♪ ♬⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♪ ♬ ⋆ study ⋆⋆ ♫ ♪ ⋆ threat ⋆ ⋆♫ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♫ ⋆ foreign ⋆ ♩ ♩ ♪ ♬ ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♪ ♬ ⋆ assess. With love.
Hopper: ::Under her breath:: Yes, but assess with love gently…
((One hour and Forty-five minutes later – unidentified conference room))
The Starfleet officers had been politely escorted into a building that was made up primarily of different shaped dark triangles at the edge of the large grassy field, where the “new” civilisation’s warp rocket sat. The inside of the building was plain and dull, in contrast to the beings themselves and the plain white room Wil and Robin had sat in was white and bare.
Robin had been allowed to keep her tricorder, thankfully, which allowed her to study the composition of the building’s construction materials. The white interior walls appeared to be comprised of some sort of artificially-grown and densely-compacted mineral compound, not unlike chalk or sandstone. The outside of the structure was similarly free of notable seams or cracks, but rather seemed almost to have been formed out of mineralized alloys using some sort of ‘mold’.
It was interesting – certainly something that Starfleet Science and Engineering might both be interested in studying further, assuming that Robin and Wil weren’t about to be dissected on a slab in some off-grid undercover secret military facility… which remained a keen possibility in Robin’s mind. She’d seen too many black-and-white Sci Fi movies not to consider that a real concern.
After a very long wait, the being that had worn the silver robe approached through one of the doors, and bowed their head again before speaking in their beautiful, melodic voice.
Being (Silver): ⋆⋆⋆ Has your translator finally deciphered our ♪ ♪ ♬ ⋆ ✦ ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ✧ language? ⋆ ⋆♫ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♫ ⋆ seek answers, your sudden arrival ♫ ✧ ⋆⋆⋆ paak ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♪ ♬ ⋆ as you may understand.
Wil smiled, then looked at Robin, before looking back at the person.
Ukinix: Oh, that’s much better! We’re not getting all of the words, but it’s almost there.
Robin nodded in enthusiastic agreement – happy to finally have something to do other than studying the molecular structure of the walls.
Hopper: There are still a few terms it’s having trouble deciphering. But those will continue to fill in with time, hopefully.
Being (Silver): You are to meet Paak, ♪ ♬⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♪ Paak of ♪ ♬⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ♪ and the spiritual, political, and ✦ ⋆⋆⋆ ♪ ✧. Our “leader”, as you so simply put it.
Hopper: ::Smiling:: Great! ::Blink:: I think.
Being (Silver): Your simple resonance is unique to us. It seems your translator allowed us to understand you better than you could understand us.
Robin noticed Wil’s eyebrows rise, and spoke to him in a hushed tone.
Hopper: Their language is more complex than Federation Standard. To them, it probably sounds almost like we’re conversing in ‘baby talk’ or something.
A chime sounded. Or a set of chimes. It was not dissimilar to the sound of the aliens’ spoken language – though it appeared to be generated by some sort of device, rather than emanating from someone’s vocal structures.
Being (Silver)): It is time. Paak approaches. With love.
Robin’s cheeks had only just recovered the extensive ‘nervous smiling’ she’d been doing earlier on their trip from the launch field into the facility. Now she did her best to put on the happy face again, but she was sure it looked less genuine than it had at first.
The double doors at the far end of the conference room slid open. In walked another rainbow-skinned being – this one a little taller than the others. Where before Robin had been uncertain about the species’ identifying characteristics, this one at least seemed to trend more towards Robin’s own physical features. She wondered, briefly, if these people had sexes, or genders, and if they did, how they might differentiate between them – but now was hardly the time to ask.
The tall slender being, dressed in white robes, clasped their hands politely. Behind, an entourage of twelve other local beings followed into the room. They all settled into a circular formation, flanking either side of the taller being. Each member of the entourage wore a different coloured outfit – though whether that was coordinated or simply the result of everyone in the office avoiding wearing a matching robe was impossible to know.
A moment later, the entire entourage each bellowed a quiet, long tone of a musical note, in complete harmony with each other. It was beautiful, and impressive, evoking an ancient choir accompanied by bells and organ – all produced with the elegant voices of the beings before them. As they came to a stop, Robin raised her hands as if to applaud, but quickly thought better of it, lest it ‘cheapen’ the moment.
The leader then repeated the gesture from earlier, joining their fingers above their head in a triangle. The entourage did the same, looking onwards towards Robin and Wil with expectant eyes. Robin caught Wil’s nod and the two of them did their best to mimic the gesture. The leader closed their eyes and nodded in appreciation, before finally speaking in a calm, melodic, almost mesmerising tone.
Paak (Leader): With love, Welcome to Paak. I am Paak, the rightful leader of Paak. ::gracefully gestures:: I hold the title of “Paak” of the Paak people.
oO Paak, the Paak of Paak, Paak of the Paak? Oo Robin tried to follow along – but the repetitive use of that one word the UT refused to translate left her a little baffled. Were the people called Paak? Or was that a title? Or both? And if it was both, how did one differentiate “a Paak” from “the Paak”? And was this one’s name also Paak?
The officers once again exchanged glances. The white-clad leader, meanwhile, held out their rainbow-coloured hands, face down, and then slowly moved them to the side to gesture to the entourage.
Paak (Leader): These are the Paak, guides of Paak to the anointed Paak of the day. ::Pushing hands out towards Wil and Robin:: Please, enlighten us of your names and your origin. With love.
oO Paak. Paak. Paak. Paak… Uh oh. Oo
Wil shrugged – not a good sign – and then spoke, attempting to answer the question that had been asked, even if neither of them fully comprehended what was being said to them.
Ukinix: Hello. We are from the United Federation of Planets, a union of planetary systems from an area of the galaxy we call the “Alpha Quadrant”. My name is “Wil” originally from a planet named “Earth”, and this ::gesturing:: is Robin, originally from a planet named “Theta VII”. We detected your warp test, and came to investigate.
Robin nodded in agreement as the Paak (was that right?) looked back and forth among each other, a quiet titter of surprised bell-sounds ringing between them.
Ukinix: It is an honour, Paak, to be welcomed to Paak, and to meet the leading representative of the Paak people.
The Paak’s eyes narrowed. Not all of them. Just The Paak. The main Paak… The Paak. The rest of the group twitched, their nervous titters growing in volume ever so slightly. Robin immediately had a bad feeling about it. With the Universal Translator still having trouble comprehending the term, it was entirely possible that they were repeating it all wrong, or that it was being mistranslated back.
Ukinix: Paak “Paak” of the Paak people, my commanding officer is an Ambassador, and I’m sure-
Paak #3: You *dare* insult our Paak with such *words*?
Robin shook her head, her mouth opening slightly, but no sounds coming out. oO Oh, this is definitely not good… Oo
Ukinix: ::To Robin:: What’d I say?
Hopper: ::To Wil:: You said “Pa–” ::cutting herself off:: You said the word. Their word.
Ukinix: “Paak”. I said “Paak”, right?
Paak #6: Make him stop… make him stop!
oO Aaah! I’m trying to! Oo She stammered, no adequate response coming to her.
Paak #8: ::To Wil and Robin:: Insulting our Paak, how very dare you!
Ukinix: ::looking at leader:: For saying “Paak”?
Hopper: ::To Wil:: No! No! Bad! Stop saying Paak!
She clasped her hand over her own mouth. Had she just said Paak? oO Oh paak. Oo
Paak: I have heard enough. Never… *never*, in the history of Paak, has a Paak and the people of Paak been so insulted and offended! Take them away, put them in isolation.
oO Nooooo!!! Oo
As far as first contacts went, this had been one of the most immediately fumbled. They hadn’t even made it through two minutes of conversation. The military members moved over from the walls, and grabbed Robin and Wil by the arms, dragging them out of the conference room.
Robin looked to Wil, urging him with her eyes to do something.
Ukinix: All I said was “Paak”!
oO NOT THAT!!! Oo
Hopper: ::Frustrated:: Well stop @#$%ing saying it!
Paak #2: ::Pointing:: You’re just making it worse for yourself! By the nature of Paak, stop it!
As she was paak-handled by the soldier Paak who had grabbed her, Robin tried – unsuccessfully – to resist being dragged from the room. She yelped as her tricorder was snatched from her hip holster and taken away.
Hopper: Hey! That’s mine! Where are you taking us? This is all a misunderstanding! Please, he didn’t mean anything by it!
She grabbed hold of the doorway, her fingers slowly peeling off the arched frame as she was dragged away down the hall after Wil towards whatever hole awaited them.
Hopper: Nooo!!! I don’t want to be dissected!!!!
TBC
