Alcoholism and Marriage - What You Need to Know

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Alcoholism and marriage is a volatile combination. Whether one of you
or both of you have alcohol problems, the marriage is likely to be
unstable at best. This does not necessarily mean that the marriage is
over. It does mean that significant changes need to occur to save the
marriage and your relationship.
It is common for some form of abuse to occur when alcohol enters a
marriage. The alcoholic may be physically abusive when he drinks. Or
he becomes emotionally and verbally abusive, calling you hateful names
and saying hurtful things.
The important thing to do is to never stay in a physically abusive
situation. You must always protect yourself. You can also help your
spouse by asking him to enter an alcohol treatment program. Have this
conversation with him when he is sober. Be prepared for the usual
excuses. He doesn't have a drinking problem. He isn't that bad. He's
sorry he hit you. He didn't mean to say what he said.
Both spouses become controlled by the alcohol. The alcoholic is
addicted to the alcohol. You use the alcohol as the reason to explain
and enable his behavior. He's only like that when he drinks. It's the
alcohol talking. It is not uncommon for you to become depressed over
the situation. You feel guilty over his behavior. You also feel guilty
for staying with him. This gives him more control over you. He plays
on your emotions so that you stay with him.
Be prepared for the financial impact of alcoholism on your marriage.
Not only is he spending money on alcohol, he is likely to be spending
way too much money on other things as well. Probably things you don't
even need. Keep in mind that his judgment is impaired by the alcohol.
He is not out to deliberately ruin you financially. He is using money
to give himself a feeling of control. In reality, he is out of
control.
Take the steps necessary to learn as much about the impact of
alcoholism on marriage. Learn what you can do to help your spouse and
save your marriage. Start with Alcoholics Anonymous. Research the
available treatment programs in your community. Be sure to talk to a
counselor for yourself as well. The marriage involves both of you, so
seek help for you both individually and as a couple.