Marriage Problems - How to Save Your Marriage from Collapsing

[yadtgr...@yahoo.com]

When you discover you have a marriage problem is the first step to
transforming your marriage but for some couples acknowledging that
they have a problem shatters the marriage myth. Looking at the aspect
of love movies, stories and fairytale's we are required to live
happily forever. Whats the way forward when the husband develops a
drinking problem ? What happens when David Miller late nights start
disrupting his marriage to Jennifer Bush? When will become of the
marriage situation when Jane says she is no longer in love with the
husband when its supposed to be till death do us apart.
While in school, we were taught how to read and write, do sums, know
Shakespeare and the ability to do scientific experiments but whats the
relevance of the social benefit of all, known as the capability to
keep the love lingering in our marriage.
The truth is that we know only a little and from the time we say i do,
we were eventually flying by the seat of our underwear. We never care
to get a manual or a textbook to tell us how to get it right, making
our marriage to be an evolving set of experiments, discovering and
learning more and more about one another and know what will work and
what won't work. Many say if mistakes is not made, we can't learn, but
what is price of the mistakes and is the price too high for some
couples.
This is why i have come up with 3 methods to strongly save your
marriage problems. These are 3 things that have worked for people who
care to apply it in their everyday live and it has helped get their
marriage the way it was when they were newly married. I call this
error free method to save yourself and your marriage in the life of
your partner and prove to them that they are both committed to making
correct changes in your marriage.
They first step to saving your marriage is to avoid following your
issue on a case by case basis. Husband and wife that try to solve
quarrels by judging the small details of every quarrel are never going
to get the large matter resolved. I am based on the issues that truly
matters in your marriage and the problems that keeps on coming
whenever their is an arguments.
You spend too time at work, couples feeling unappreciated, never make
love as long as they previously used to, either of you having the
feeling that you are unfulfilled by your relationship or lifestyle, is
the interaction weak in your relationship, does you want your right
override by the feelings of your partner. I will like to tell you to
spend more time examine the issues and themes behind your arguments
and worry less on the details.
If the issue is your job then it means that the gap behind this is the
balance between work and home which means you take work
responsibilities more serious than the family issues which should be
your number one .If the issue is that you are not doing enough chores,
the gap behind this is that you are being invited into making a deeper
contribution into coupledom. If the issue is your partner being grumpy
with you all the time, the gap is your partner needing to feel
validated in the relationship. If you are able to get a deeper
understanding of what the key gaps hindering your marriage issues you
are able to form effective solutions that will save your marriage from
shattering.
The next step to transforming your marriage is to examine your beliefs
about your marriage. Its find not to have the fairytale marriage, even
the best couples always don't do it right. What makes this
imperfections good or bad is ability as a couple to deal with it man
to woman. When you don't accept something, do you call your follower,
sit down and talk about it or is your first approach to deny that
truly there is a problem thinking that somehow it will wither away.
Don't you know that a little drop of water makes a mighty ocean?
You have to admit that it is okay to be imperfect. Admitting this
language as a partner can be one of the most liberating actions you
can use to save your marriage problems. Admitting your imperfection
opens more room that can bring both of you closer as you find
solutions to show a meaning out of your issues. Admitting that you do
make mistakes can open the door to acknowledging that there is a
better way to do things and one of the ways as a couple is finding the
solution together. Try to make a list of stuffs you have learnt as a
couple and the list of areas that you as a couple can both improve on
and then try talking out that areas with your partner and request for
their own opinion.
Finally the third step to transforming your marriage is recognizing
the different between being a man and being a woman and acknowledging
the relevance of both roles in the relationship. That your partner
sees things different from the way you see them doesn't mean its wrong
and the same goes for you. They are several ways to interpret the
truth and the key to saving marriage problems is in recognizing that
men and women have key fundamental differences in the way they reason
things. As for men, their view may be a more strongly-oriented
approach to solving an issue but for women, they may focus on the
emotional approach as both of you find your way through marriage
issues. As you can see both approaches are different, with compromise
they can both achieve the same result. A quick approach to saving your
marriage is to write down 5 task oriented ways of trying to solve the
situation, then list 5 thoughts based ways of communicating your way
to a solution. The right key to saving your marriage is in
transforming you, being married is the dream of every woman but having
marriage problems and not knowing how to solve them can paralyzing a
marriage, the solution is the ability to map time from your day to day
activities and look at different ways of solving your marriage
problems. Every aspect of marriage problems invites you into growing
and offers you and your partner the chance to learn.