Have You Really Fallen Out of Love With Your Spouse?

[gocysx...@yahoo.com]

Why do we use the words, "fall in love" or "fall out of love"? What
does it really mean to be "in love" with someone? First of all,
understand that you cannot fall "in love" or fall "out of love". Love
just becomes what it is when two people spend a lot of time together
and get to know each other.
Marriage thrives on intimacy and closeness with one another and when
that declines or discontinues couples feel they are no longer "in
love" with their spouse, even though they still care for and love
their spouse. So what does that mean? It means they are confused about
what love really is.
Loving the person we married will not always make us feel good inside,
no matter how good the marriage is or how close we are in the intimacy
department. But if we want the feelings of being "in love" brought
back in our marriage then we can re-ignite the passion of intimacy by
doing something about the attitude we have of not being "in love"
anymore.
You didn't "fall out of love" with your spouse, it's just that those
feelings of excitement are gone and it is up to you to do something
about it.
What I am saying here is stop basing your marriage on feelings but on
principled acts of love instead. If you are looking for a feeling to
keep your marriage alive then make that feeling happen! But don't sit
around brooding over how you are not "in love" with your spouse
anymore and want out of the marriage. Take responsibility for your
marriage and do something about it.
We have to bring passion and excitement back into our marriage - it is
not going to happen without our efforts! We only need to shift our
attitude from needing to feel excitement for our personal happiness to
creating excitement in our marriage for both of our happiness.
The more we keep looking outside the bounds of marriage for the
feelings we are looking for the more tempting outside boundaries will
become to us. The reason is simple, what we perceive in our mind
eventually becomes a reality. If we dwell on how boring or bad our
marriage is, we will create temptation in our mind and act on it. Is
that what we really want?
What couples do not understand is they made their marriage to be what
it is today. If their feelings are telling them that happiness is
being with someone else then they are confused about what love in
marriage is. It is not the feeling of dating or the feeling of being
with someone else, it is the principled acts of loving and caring for
someone until death do you part. It is not a feeling at all but
actions.
The most important thing to keep in mind if and when you do get
tempted is that feelings don't last - they are temporary. But love is
for a lifetime - it is real and can be made more complete by your
principled actions of love. Remember, you're not dating anymore,
you're married, and that means you have a duty and responsibility to
your marriage.