Save Your Marriage - How Friends Can Help Save Your Marriage

[wnuhes...@yahoo.com]

No man is an island, so the saying goes. How true. Everyone needs
someone. The closest relationship any two persons can have is
marriage. But no matter how close two persons are, there can still be
problems in the relationship. It is no different in marriage. No
matter how strong the marriage relationship, there can still be
friction between the marriage partners. This friction if left
unaddressed or if addressed wrongly threatens to unravel the very
fabric of the marriage. How can you save a marriage like this?
There are times when the couple cannot cope with the stress of an
impending breakup. The disagreements, arguments, fights between them
seem to perpetuate and escalate. Attempts to reconcile always arrive
at a stalemate. There seems to be no solution. In situations like
these friends play a major role in saving the marriage. If you know of
a friend going through marital problems, here are some suggestions on
what you can do.
What Friends Can Do
As a friend(s), you can do many things. Your unique position of being
close to the marriage but not in it gives you the ability to see
things from a much more objective point of view. It is from this
objective perspective that you can contribute something unique to help
repair a broken marriage. On the other hand, if you are the one in a
troubled marriage, you have to remember some very important factors
before asking a friend(s) to help you out.
The choice of friends is important. You are entrusting your marriage
to them, revealing personal details and opening yourselves to them.
Therefore, the friends must be mature, wise and trustworthy. They must
be able to keep confidence. They must not have any hidden agenda other
than to genuinely help save your marriage. Assuming you know of such
friends, must they themselves be married also?
Being married would be preferable but not imperative. Obviously a
married friend knows from experience what your problems are like. But
there can be single friends (never married or once married) who can
offer good advice, too depending on the nature of the problem in your
marriage. Here are some specific things friends can do.
The Role of Friends
These are things that you probably could not do yourself, but can be
done for you by your friends:
1. They can give objective advice and insights into the problems.
Although friends themselves may have a liking for one spouse more than
the other, it is still possible to offer an objective viewpoint to any
dispute
2. Friends can relieve you of some practical tasks to alleviate your
stress in your marriage. In the midst of trying to solve the problems
with your spouse, the children still need to go to school; the bills
still need to be paid; the errands still needs to be run etc. While
you are dealing with issues in your marriage, friends can help carry
out these essential tasks.
3. Friends can provide a listening ear and moral support to encourage
you to persevere. Your marriage is worth saving no matter what the
cost. Having good friends alongside you helps tremendously. This is
far better than soldiering on alone.
4. Friends can become your accountability partners where necessary.
There are times when you or your spouse may need someone to be
accountable to, especially in situations where a third party is
involved. For example where there is an affair, friends can lovingly
but firmly come between the erring spouse and the third party.
Conclusion
So it is advisable to seek the help of genuine, well-meaning friends
to help you save your marriage. Do not think that you don't need
someone else. Resist the temptation to keep things to yourself. Do not
wait until it's too late to get help. Sometimes you need to swallow
your pride and admit you need the help of friends in saving your
marriage.