9 51 Wildlife Protection Act

[Lottie Dedinas]

For the sake of this question, let's assume that ZB01 has successfully gone global, infecting people all over the world. We'll use these zombies except let's say that they don't burn out too quickly and succeed in occupying most of the world, leading to a full zombie apocalypse. Only pockets of humanity remain. Survivors face a war-torn zombie-infested world.

Our protagonist for the day is Ned. Ned is a survivor of ZB01 and travels with a group of ruffians in what used to be northern Texas. Ned has requested that you, his supplier, equip him in the most effective zombie killing weapon you can think of.

When is comes down to melee against zombies you won't want to be messing around with swords, katanas, knives, battle axes, or any other edged or spiked weapons. Edged weapons get stuck in things like bones. Everyone knows $^[citation\ needed]$ that to kill a zombie, you destroy the brain. Destroying the brain (or removing the head) require going through either the skull or the spinal column, those are made of bone.

This is, of course, assuming that only humans can carry and become infected with the zombie virus. (If all animals can become zombies, they all will, and we'll be screwed.) Dogs are effective, trainable weapons that should easily be able to pull down and dismember an unarmed human, which is basically what zombies are to all life forms that they can't infect. Dogs can move fast and fight in groups, even without Ned around, so he can mostly stand back and run away from the zombies while his dogs keep them off him and rip them apart.

Ned will, of course, want something to finish off a downed zombie. While the standard choice is a club or axe, I'd go with something that he can stay a bit further from the zombies with, like a spear. With his pack of dogs to defend him, Ned doesn't have to worry as much about the speed with which he can down a zombie, so a slower but safer method of dispatching them would be preferable. He'll want to make sure that there's some sort of cross arm on his spear so the zombies can't crawl up it if they're not quite dead. A spear with a cross bar would keep the zombies pinned down with the chompy bits a safe distance from Ned while his dogs finish pulling off their limbs.

Dogs also have other benefits. They can carry Ned's gear around for him, keeping him nice and light in case he needs to run, they can smell zombies well before Ned can see them, and they can help hunt. Unlike something like a club, dogs are also effective at defending from hostile wildlife like wolves or angry rednecks.

Your enemy will be smart, they'll be able to see the trap and if the temptation isn't enough they'll use their brains to kill you for your delicious flesh so it's essential that our heros overwhelm their minds with the smell of fresh baked bread permeating the battlefield which will cause the hunger crazed beasts to abandon their fortifications to run blindly towards the promise of FOOD. A bread maker is more important than a flame thrower because you need to rob your enemy of the ability to think.

Finally. Your last weapon. These things are smart, they're fast, they're strong and motivated but they're still human-ish and they care more about eating than living. They're humans infected with ZB01. They can still bleed. So poison. Lots of poison. Poison all the snacks you intend to throw at them.

Meanwhile it's important that you do whatever you can to not look like food. We can assume that the zombies aren't eating each others legs because they look too diseased/sickly to each other to trip the "food" feeling while pink fleshy non infected humans look like an all you can eat buffet.

Not only will it be useful for bashing in heads, but it will help you wedge things like: nails, boarded buildings, doors, car trunks, car doors, garage doors, stubborn locks, staircase supports (preventing access to second floor of houses except ladder), military door jammers and survival necessities such as canned foods.

In fighting, the curvature of the crowbar is ideal for effortlessly reaching into the harder to reach parts of the brain such as the Motor Cortex to disable motor functions and the Broca's Area to silence a Zombie from making any noises from it mouth to attract others. Unlike sharp weapons which dull and blunt weapons which are more of a pray and smash, your blows can be a little more controlled and precise.

They require no sharpening and are easily found at just about every hardware store you are going to raid. If you are around a single zombie you can use the sharp end of the curve or flip it horizontally around for a less risk of getting stuck and use it for a blunt attack. If all else fails you can flip it vertically and use a stabbing motion.

Ok, this will require for Ned a little bit of strategy and thinking as he will go on a 2-5 month adventure.I think during this period of time, not only the weapon itself is important, but also the proficency with it in order to survive, as there might be chances that Ned could lose his weapon.Also as Ned will face different kinds of situations regarding fighting with zombies, he may require some different kinds of weapons.

The actual weapon itself is extremely light, leaving additional weight to carry some ammo. But if you sacrifice accuracy, a sling can use almost any sort of small rock. This would let you preserve your stored, better ammo for when you really need it.

You're going to need to raid a shopping mall or clothing outlet for socks - should be easy since socks aren't high on the survival guide's most-wanted list. Strong socks are the best, so go for the tight-knit ones, or long winter stockings.

The accompanying brick should be easy enough to find in a dilapidated post-apocalyptic world. Just search for any broken-down building or construction site. In a pinch, any heavy object will do, even a common stone.

Maces are too heavy to lug around for 5 months, and Ned'll get tired after bashing in maybe 4 or 5 zombies heads in. Besides, given the chance that Ned has to fight in close quarters such as an alleyway, a mace is definitely too large and hard to maneuver - but this is a step in the right direction.

With a bit of ninja training, some nunchucks would do the job. Fast, small, great for bashing in brains in close quarters when used correctly, while still having a fairly large attack range. Used effectively, he'll be able to indefinitely fend off attacks from the zombies via smacking away the grabby hands and legs of said zombies. (If you haven't seen the video of someone using nunchucks to play ping pong, I recommend watching it - imagine that, but every time someone throws a punch or tries to grab you, you smack that hand away)

In fact, lets give the nunchucks an upgrade! Lets add electricity to them, and make them shock targets on hit. We'll give Ned a pair of rubber gloves to use them with so he doesn't kill himself while using them. Now he can short out the muscle control of the attacking zombies with each hit! But he'll run out of batteries, you say? No he wont! Not if he uses the shakey-shakey-rechargey thingy that some flashlights use (I think it's a coil or something like that)! When he's fighting, it's charging! When he's not fighting.. well he can charge it by shaking it.

Modern tanks like the Abrams are much better than the WWII tanks most people picture. The Abrams is set for NBC protection, for example. It also has a range of 300 miles. If you need to go further, the Abrams is multi-fuel. In other words, it would run off diesel, petrol, or even jet fuel.

What about close quarters? Well you could simply run your tank through the wall. Otherwise, note that the tank is noisy - thus it should draw out all of the zombies that are currently in hiding around the neighbourhood into one big crowd, that you can then happily crush with your treads. Leaving you to explore in safety.

Use the drones' noise to attract/distract zombies, and the lasers to blind them (thanks @DaaaahWhoosh for the idea). You can even leverage @Murphy's answer; attach some raw meat to a drone and use the scent to lure zombies wherever you want them...like off a cliff.

The other big drawback is relying on weather. You'll need sunlight to recharge batteries. Your drones will need to be rain-proof and wind-resistant. Your laptop and/or smartphone will need to be waterproof and rugged, as will your charging equipment and carrying cases. You'll want enough spare batteries that you can hole up for a week in bad weather - no expeditions, just making sure no zombies catch you with your pants down. Unless you're in Forks, Washington, or your trip is in the winter or local rainy season, this should be manageable.

Pitchfork, a fairly common and reasonably light device, great for keeping folks away while doing damage. And unlike an ax there not much of chance of it getting stuck. Finally it has that nostalgic, traditional feel to it as people've using them to fight monsters since forever, but you don't usually see them in movies and such, so a bit of a forgotten charm.

How about taking something like say a uhaul truck and converting it into a wood gas powered vehicle (this is assuming that wood is a relatively plentiful resource). Give it bullet proof glass or a metal grate over the windows. Possibly give it solar panels and a battery as a secondary fuel source.

With two abundant fuel sources you could keep the thing out and about without much issue. Gives you plenty of extra space for carrying stuff, you could stay inside it for most of the trip between locations, and honestly there are many ideas out there for weaponizing vehicles (I'll let others fill in this part, though I'll add that the wood gas can be turned into a makeshift torch/flamethrower, though I'd avoid this since you don't want to start a forest fire with you in the middle).

The first thing i would steal if a zombie apocalipse broke out is an armored bank truck. No, i am not interested in the money, because that would have no value without a functioning government. But an armored truck runs on regular diesel and has almost the same range as a normal truck, while being armored enough to resist most attacks. Attach fuel tanks on the cargo compartment and this range can be extended furter. Make holes and you can fire from the inside. Ned can sleep inside the armored truck if needed and have no worries about being robbed by other survivors. A truck is not the most silent thing around but its not too loud either. And zombies wont be able to break it. The only danger is a bunch of zombies trying to flip it over, this can avoided by being constantly on the run. It is better than a tank because their mechanical parts are usually shared with common trucks and might be scavenged from repair shops etc. If you get an older model with a non-eletronic engine, you can run it even without electricity. Diesels can be repaired easily by skilled people.

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