BEARDED GROOM

[K.N.RAMESH]

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*KOLAHALAM IN KALYANAM VIVAHAM PART 2 – BEARDED GROOM*

Namaskaram

This series on Indian Brahmin marriage is an attempt by Veda Ghosham to make people aware of our marriage rituals, their significance as mentioned in Shastras, how it has been conveniently changed in the current world and how we finally do it today. The attempt is to bring back our ancient traditions back with Shastra justification

As per our Shastras, the groom to be eligible for marriage has to undergo *Samavartanam* which is a part of the 16 samaskaras recommended by our Rishis before marriage. This *Samavartanam* signals the end of Brahmacharya Ashrama (bachelorhood) and moving into Gruhasta Ashrama (getting married). As per the Sutras written by Rishis, this Samavartana is a extensive process which involves homam, snanam, adorning of kundalas in ear, applying chandanam on body, applying mai (kajal) in eyes, adorning flowers, discarding the Mounji (munjapil) which is tied around the waist throughout the Brahmacharya Ashrama from Upanayana day till this day and discarding the Danda (stick) etc. Nowadays none of the boys undergoing Upanayana wear either a Mounji or keep a Danda atleast during Anushtanas till marriage. Unfortunately Mounji and Danda are discarded at the end of Upanayana day by the boy and this is even supported by parents. Mounji and Danda are accepted with Vedic mantras from Acharya in the Upanayana with the promise that he will follow all the rules of Brahmacharya. Rishis have mentioned so many things about the protective benefits of Mounji and Danda for the boy, but currently no one knows the value of these as they are discarded in the hall itself on the day of Upanayana before going home from the hall

Coming back to Samavartana (which is done before marriage), it is rarely done nowadays in totality and is done in a shortcut form nowadays without any mantras on the morning of the marriage. You would have seen the bride’s side giving a gift box to the groom with face powder, mai (kajal for eyes), shaving razor, comb, perfume etc to the groom to use on the day of marriage in early morning.  And the groom uses some of these items on the morning of the marriage. This Samavartana now is done in 10 mins by the boy himself, compared to the Vedic procedure which takes more than half a day, with mantras. This procedure is to be done by the Acharya/ father of the boy 1 day prior to marriage, which was the practice in the ancient times as per Dharma Shastras. However Shastras do allow a shorter procedure, similar to what we do currently, but with appropriate Sankalpa, steps and few mantras in the morning to accept and use the items, all of which now nobody does today. Even a barber should be invited for haircut. Unfortunately nowadays, shaving on this day is done by the boy himself and he uses some of these items and some boys don't shave at all.

One of the main karmas during this Samavartana is the shaving of hair (head, face, body). Many Rishis have termed this as *Godana vrata*. Although the term does not represent Go Danam (donating a cow), it refers to this shaving of hair of the groom, which is considered equivalent to Go Danam. Why we are specifically highlighting this issue is that we see most of the boys/men, who get married now, on the day of marriage sport a beard, sometimes long hair, moustache and some have designer bread and hairstyle to look macho. The most important aspect of pre-marriage in Samavartana is the Shaving of hair followed by Vedic bath with mantras. Shastras recommend the bride-groom to shave off beard, moustache, body hair and also as per ancient practice, shaving of head except the portion on the back of the head (shikha/tuft) which should be left. Unfortunately this shaving rite is almost gone today and 1-2 days prior to the marriage, the groom visits a parlour to sport some style of beard/moustache before the wedding. All these are ought to be done with mantra chanting as per Shastra. But all this has vanished now due to lack of Shastra knowledge and lack of  belief in our rituals. 

Now why shaving of head, facial hair, body hair is recommended you may ask ? Read the sloka below and understand the Shastra tattva:

_Merumandara tulyani papani vividhani cha, Keshaan aashritya tishtanti tasmat keshan vaapayet_

*Papas (sins) equivalent to Meru and Mandara parvata (mountain) which has been committed till now, stay hidden and supported on hair of the groom. To remove these sins, the hair has to be removed and this Kshoura (shaving) will make him pure on this important day*

Remember that Go Danam (actual donation of cow and calf) is done to remove sins as Prayaschitta and this rite is aptly also called Go danam. Shaving of the hair removes the sins to a great extent and gives you the merit of Go danam on the day when you are stepping into your next Ashrama (from Brahmachari to Gruhasta). Rather, in this rite, even the entire body hair is recommended to be shaved for the groom before marriage, as per Shastras. More the hair, more the papas stick to the person and this hair removal in this Samavartana rite is an essential pre-marriage ritual in our Shastras. So the groom must definitely not sport a beard or moustache on the day of his marriage and if he does, it contradicts the Shastras and he will marry the bride without atonement of his sins

Another verse from Vedic Sutras says 

_Idam aham amushya aamushyayanasya paapmaanam avaguhami_

*'I, having born in a great lineage of sages, remove my sins which were hiding in my hair, and by shaving them off, I thus now become pure'*

The shaved hair is to be collected, put on top of bull dung with the above mantra and kept under a tree by the groom's mother or his friend who should be a Brahmachari. A similar thing is done is Upanayana as well, when the head-shave is done for the boy.

Thus facial and body hair in Shastras are looked upon as comfortable places for our sins to hide and stay with us. And that’s why in our culture, time-to-time shaving of hair (head, facial and body) is recommended. But you may ask, I see many vadhyars /vaideekas / purohitas/pandits having long beard with moustache for many days and why they are not shaving daily. 

The answer for this is that Shastras recommend only certain days during when you can shave/cut your hair/nails etc and not daily. And such a window for haircut or shaving of hair is very sparse each month, so while waiting for these specific days for shaving/ haircut, the beard and moustache grows. But in marriage, this Samavartana is an exceptional situation, as the rite itself necessitates shaving as a mandatory rite, irrespective of the day/date of shaving recommended in Shastras. If you happen to be related to a prospective groom or you yourself are about to get married or if you are attending a friend's wedding, do send them this article and help our Sanatana Dharma grow in its true sense. 

Other than Samavartana which other days are allowed for cutting hair /nails and which days not? To know this, join Veda Ghosham Asthika group and stay tuned

_Dharmo Rakshati Rakshitah !_

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