FW: Purim Misconceptions
geedavey
Purim Misconceptions
By Rabbi Avraham Rosenthal
“Rabbi, can you clear up a few issues I have?”
“What is bothering you, Mr. Fried?”
“Well, there are several aspects of Purim that I really have difficulty understanding. For example, the idea of getting drunk is very abhorrent to me. Is there really an obligation to get stone-drunk? It seems to me that it should be totally forbidden!”
IS THERE A MITZVAH TO GET DRUNK?
“This is an excellent point. The source of the mitzvah of drinking on Purim is a Gemara (Megillah 7B): Said Rava: A person is obligated ‘livsumei’ on Purim, until he does not know the difference between ‘curse Haman’ and ‘bless Mordechai.’”
“What does ‘livsumei’ mean?”
“There is disagreement among the Rishonim and the poskim. There are two basic groups, that of Rashi and that of Kol Bo. First, let us discuss the opinion of Rashi and those who understand the Gemara like him. They explain that ‘livsumei’ means ‘to get drunk.’
“Although they interpret ‘livsumei’ the same way, they disagree regarding the continuation of the Gemara. The Gemara relates an enigmatic story. Rabbah and Rebbi Zeira ate a Purim Seudah together. Rabbah got drunk and slaughtered Rebbi Zeira. The next day, Rabbah davened, and brought Rebbi Zeira back to life. The following year, Rabbah again invited Rebbi Zeira to the Purim Seudah, but Rebbi Zeira refused, saying that miracles do not happen all the time.
“Some Rishonim (Rabbeinu Efraim, Meiri, and others) contend that although we are to understand ‘livsumei’ to mean ‘get drunk,’ and Chazal indeed instituted that one is to get drunk on Purim, this halacha is no longer in force. This is alluded to by the fact that the Gemara quotes this incident, showing the harmful effects of such activities.
“On the other hand, others are of the opinion that the reason the Gemara quoted the story was to indicate that Rava’s statement, ‘a person is obligated to get drunk,’ is to be taken literally. Also, from the story, itself, we see that this is the halacha, since Rabbah invited Rebbi Zeira to join him again the following year. (Pri Chadash 695:2) In addition, the Chasam Sofer points out that Rava, who was the individual who originally made the statement that ‘one is required to get drunk on Purim…’ lived after Rabbah, and after the story took place, Rava still expressed the halacha as he did. Therefore, it is difficult to say that the Gemara wished to indicate through the story that this is not the halacha.”
“Wow! There really is a halachic basis for getting drunk. What is the other opinion that you mentioned?”
“There is another group of Rishonim who hold that it is not possible that Chazal obligated us to become drunk, as this is a tremendous sin and may cause one to do serious transgressions. Therefore, they explain that the word ‘livsumei’ means ‘to be happy.’ This is accomplished by drinking more than one is accustomed to. (Beis Yosef 695 quoting Orchos Chaim, Rokeiach 239:11, Rema 695:2 quoting Kol Bo) In fact, the author of the Yesod v’Shoresh HaOvodah (12:7) points out that the correct Hebrew word for ‘to get drunk,” is ‘lehishtaker.’ Chazal do not use this word; rather, ‘livsumei.’”
“But, I do not understand, Rabbi. According to this opinion that one should not get drunk, how does one reach the stage of ‘until he does not know the difference between ‘curse Haman’ and ‘bless Mordechai’?”
“There are several explanations to this. Some contend that one should drink enough that he cannot say all the verses of the piyut, ‘boruch Mordechai, arur Haman, barucha Esther, arurah Zeresh, baruchim kol hatzdikim, arurim kol harasha’im.’ (Tosafos, Ran) Others explain that ‘not knowing the difference’ refers to not being able to calculate the gematria of ‘boruch Mordechai’ and ‘arur Haman’ and to realize that they are the same. (Rabbeinu Yeruchom) And there is a third explanation, that one should not be able to remember which verse is first, ‘boruch Mordechai’ or ‘arur Haman.’ (Kaf HaChaim 495:16)
“The common thread among these explanations is that one does not need to get stone-drunk to fulfill the mitzvah. Rather, it is sufficient for him to drink enough that he lacks clarity of thought.”
“I am very grateful to you for setting me straight. I now see that there is halachic basis for getting drunk. Practically speaking, though, what should one do?”
“The poskim are also in disagreement. The Kaf HaChaim (16) quotes the Arizal that one should get drunk. Rav Yaakov Emden (in his Siddur) tells us that his father, the Chacham Tzvi, would get drunk. The Shulchan Aruch (695) simply quotes Rava’s statement as stated in the Gemara, and the Rema understands this to mean that one should get drunk. He adds however, ‘some say that one should not get drunk, rather drink more than he is accustomed to and go to sleep, and since he sleeps, he does not know the difference between baruch Mordechai and arur Haman.’ The Mishnah Berurah (5) quotes the Pri Megadim that this is the proper thing to do.”
“But if that is the opinion of the Rema, Pri Megadim and Mishnah Berurah, why do so many great people get plastered?”
“The Biur Halacha (695, s.v. ad d’lo yada) quotes the Chayei Adam, that ‘since the miracle took place because of wine, therefore, the Sages obligated a person to get drunk, and, minimally, to drink more than he is accustomed to… However, one who knows himself -- that he will be lax with one of the mitzvos such as washing hands or bircas hamazon, or he will not daven…or he will act with too much levity -- should not get drunk, and all of his actions should be for the sake of Heaven.’ In addition, Rav Wolbe zt”l wrote a similar, if not more explicit thought in Alei Shor (vol. II, page 468): ‘A very great person, who is sure of himself, may get totally drunk on Purim. For us small people, small in learning and in Divine service, it is sufficient on Purim to be more happy (l’hisbaseim) than we are accustomed to be, and we do not need to get drunk. We should be prepared to protect the greatness of the day so that it does not, chas veshalom, turn into a day of frivolity and idleness.’
“It is clear from this that it all depends on the person. If a person will get closer to Hashem by drinking and there is no concern of laxity in mitzvos, he may do so. Otherwise, it is probably not a good idea.”
D.U.I.
“As long as we are on the topic of drinking, I have another question. I thought that after drinking intoxicating beverages, one may not daven. Yet, I see many people on Purim davening, when they are clearly drunk. Can you clarify for me the halachos of davening under the influence?”
“Actually, the Rema (99:3) justifies the practice of davening even after having drunk intoxicating beverages. He reasons that since our wines are weak, people daven even after drinking, and, especially, if one davens from a siddur, he does not have to be concerned about being a little tipsy.
“However, since the Mishnah Berurah (17) quotes the Pri Megadim that this is only a justification and it is not proper to follow this practice, let us review the relevant halachos. Depending on how much one imbibed, there are three levels of being drunk: 1) one who can still speak respectably to an important person, 2) one who cannot speak respectably to an important person, and 3) one who has reached the drunkenness of Lot, or he is totally oblivious to what is going on around him.
“One who drank a revi’is (2.9 oz. or 86.4 ml.) or more of wine, ideally, should not daven until the effects of the alcohol wear off. With other intoxicating beverages, the amount is that which would affect him to the same degree as a revi’is of wine. This is true, even if he is accustomed to drinking alcoholic beverages and does not easily become intoxicated. However, if he did, in fact, daven, he has fulfilled his obligation.
“If one realizes that by waiting until the effects of the alcohol wear off the time of davening will have passed, he is allowed to daven. However, it is recommended that he daven from a siddur.
“All of the above applies to a person who is lucid enough to speak respectably to an important person. However, if one is intoxicated to the point where he cannot do so, it is absolutely forbidden for him to daven, even if he will miss the time of davening.
“If, while in that situation, he does daven, his tefillah is considered an abomination, and upon becoming sober, he must daven again. And if, by the time he became sober, the time of davening has passed, he must make up that tefillah, after davening the next tefillah.
“These halachos apply also to Kri’as Shema and its brachos. However, if one sees that he will miss the time of Shema while waiting for the effects of the alcohol to dissipate, he should say Shema, even if he is not lucid enough to speak respectably to an important person. However, he should omit the brachos. If one read Shema while inebriated, and he sobers up before the time of Shema ends, he should read it again.”
“Can someone who is drunk recite bircas hamazon?”
“The Mishnah Berurah (185:6) rules that, ideally, one should recite bircas hamazon before reaching the situation where he cannot speak respectably to an important person. However, if he has already reached that stage, he should, nevertheless, recite bircas hamazon.
“The same applies to reciting brachos in general. If one cannot speak respectably to an important person, ideally he should not recite any brachos. Nevertheless, if he already became obligated to recite the bracha, for example, if he ate and is required to recite a bracha acharonah, he should recite the bracha, even in this situation.” (Mishnah Berurah 99:11)
“You said that there is a third category of being drunk, where one is totally oblivious of his surroundings. How is this situation different?”
“This is the most stringent category. A person who has reached this level of drunkenness is viewed in halacha as being a ‘shoteh,’ an idiot, and is exempt from all mitzvos. He may not daven or recite any brachos, and if he does so, he has not fulfilled his obligation. Therefore, when he becomes sober, he must daven again.”
“Can someone who is drunk be counted as part of a minyan?”
“According to the Mishnah Berurah (99:10), even before one has reached the stage of the drunkenness of Lot, he should not be counted as part of a minyan.” (See also Ishei Yisrael 22:24, footnote 81 for other opinions)
LASHON HARA AND PURIM SHPIELS
“Another issue I wanted to discuss with you is the practice of belittling people during Purim shpiels. Why is this permitted?”
“There is a line of reasoning that tries to justify this practice based on a Tosafos in Gemara Succah (45A). The Mishnah describes the service in the Beis Hamikdash on Hoshanah Rabbah. The Mishnah concludes with, ‘from the hand of the children, they grab their lulavim and eat their esrogim.’ Tosafos, quoting Rashi, explains that the adults would take and eat the lulavim and esrogim of the children. Although it is normally forbidden to steal from children, in this case, it was permitted, because it was their custom and it was assumed that everyone forgave each other.
“Tosafos uses this concept to justify an apparently common medieval practice of entertaining the bride and groom at their wedding by having a mock jousting match.”
“I hope that people in our day and age don’t try to reinstate the practice.”
“Agreed. During the match, the combatants would sometimes tear each other’s clothing and damage each other’s horses. Tosafos rule that since their custom was to do so for the simcha of chassan and kallah, they are exempt from paying damages.
“This concept, that acts of simcha are, under certain circumstances, exempt from the laws of damages, also applies to Purim. The Rema (695:2) maintains that if someone injures his friend because of simchas Purim, he is exempt. This is used as a basis to permit Purim shpiels.
“However, in truth, this is no basis whatsoever, as this leniency is only applicable when there is no intent to cause harm and it is not done out of hatred. In addition, the Mishnah Berurah (695:13) contends that there is a difference between minimal and significant damage, and the custom is not to exempt one who causes significant damage. Many Purim shpiels include lashon hara and motzi shem ra, and cause embarrassment to the subject of the joke.”
“I heard of one yeshivah where the Rosh Yeshivah and Rebei’im review the shpiel beforehand to determine that the jibes are not too harsh. This seems to indicate that they are willing to forego their honor. Does this permit the lashon hara?”
“I do not think so. And in this case, the lashon hara is worse, because the subject of the jokes is a talmid chocham. Even though the Gemara says that if a talmid chocham foregoes his honor it is not necessary to honor him, this applies only when it comes to honoring him. However, he is not allowed to permit someone to belittle or make fun of him. The Gemara in several places mentions how terrible it is to degrade talmidei chachamim. One Gemara says that Yerushalayim was destroyed because of this sin (Shabbos 119b). Also there is a story about Rebbi Elazar the son of Rebbi Shimon who was punished for hearing how a talmid chocham was degraded and did not protest. (Baba Metzia 84b) (See Shu”t Yechaveh Da’as vol. V, 50 and Moadim u’Zmanim vol. II, 191 in the footnote, for a full discussion.)
“It is worthwhile to keep in mind that one never knows how much damage can be done by a joke. (Yechaveh Da’as ibid.)
LO SILBASH
“Another issue that I am having trouble with is understanding the practice of men dressing up as women, or vice versa. I thought that the Torah prohibited this.”
“You are correct that there is a Torah prohibition of men wearing women’s clothes and vice versa. Nevertheless, there was a custom to be lenient on Purim. The Rema (696:7) quotes this custom with an explanation that they were accustomed to do so, because of simcha. He then quotes another opinion that it is forbidden, but concludes that the custom is like the first opinion.
“The Mishnah Berurah (30), though, quotes several Acharonim who are stringent about this. He also contends that where a man is wearing only one item of a woman, and it is recognizable that he is a man, one need not protest against it, although this is incorrect dress. In addition, the Aruch HaShulchan (696:12) maintains that, although there was a custom to be lenient in the earlier generations, nowadays, one should be strict. Also, even according to the lenient opinion, this applies only to Purim itself. There was never a custom to be lenient at celebrations during the Purim season.
THE REACCEPTANCE OF THE TORAH
“Let me share with you a thought on Purim from the Chafetz Chaim.
“The possuk says (Ester 9:27), ‘they established and they accepted.’ Chazal understood this to mean that the Jewish People experienced a willing reacceptance of the Torah that they had previously accepted at Har Sinai against their will.
“The obvious question is, how is it possible to say about the people of the generation who experienced the ten plagues, the splitting of the sea, and the receiving of the Torah at Har Sinai, where they actually heard Hashem speaking to them, that they needed to be forced into accepting the Torah? They themselves said, ‘na’aseh v’nishma,’ which indicates a willing acceptance!
“Rather, explains the Chofetz Chaim, Chazal are informing us of what was going through the minds of the people of that generation. They were not refusing, chalilah, to accept the Torah. However, they were concerned that they would not be able to live up to the demands of a Torah-lifestyle throughout all the generations. Would they be able to be shomrei mitzvos in foreign lands and under hostile governments? This is especially so if the Torah requires a distancing between Jew and non-Jew, something that could foster the non-Jew’s hatred. Haman’s decree to annihilate the Jews was prompted by the fact that Mordechai would not bow to him, since he was wearing an idol.
“What happened when the Purim miracle occurred? Achashveirosh made a complete about-face. He gave a command to hang his most important minister, about whom, not too long before, he had commanded that everyone must bow. For the nation that, several days earlier, he had ordered must be annihilated, he was now doing whatever they wanted.
“The Jews learned from this episode that it is possible to live a proper Jewish life in exile. What is expected of them is to have the desire to keep the Torah, and be willing to be moser nefesh for it. If they do their utmost, the power of the Torah will protect them and Hashem will save them.
“This is why there was a willing reacceptance of the Torah during the days of the Purim miracle. All of their doubts regarding keeping the Torah in diverse situations were laid to rest.
“A freilichen Purim!”
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