My favorite job

[صادق‎]

Hi,
I'm going to begin my first post in this group and wish we learn many thing together.

----
All of us though about what we want to do, witch job is suitable for us, what are the parameters to select ideal job and so on.
In my point, enjoy the moment is most important part of life. Doing things that maximize length and deep the happy times are so important. and job is just a part of life.
In other hand, all of us know that to be able do things we need money! but earn money and enjoy moments is not possible together in most cases.
Anyway, I like to see people talking each other and discuss in different subjects. I like to meet peoples with different ideas. In other hand I'm really great in computer field and enjoy the moments I design and develop new programs. and I like the IT world because of it change so fast and you will not become bored.
Another patient for me is looking to the children when they are learning to live.
I think a lot about what I like and what I did before well.
I think my current job will not satisfy enough more but It is really so better for make money than other options. so I think it is good idea to find a part time job for evening. maybe what help me meet more peoples. Therefore there is two option, being a tour leader and work in a coffee shop. The 1st one seems really good because you can meet people from all around the world, talk to them and in addition you have visit many places. I tested it and it sound great. now I'm active member of CouchSurfing website and meet really nice people. It help me to practice my English and improve it.
Unfortunately I have not the chance to test 2nd option. I'm seeking for a chance to test it to. being a coffee-man seems great You meet new people every day, if one of them become a customer or if some one come, you may able talk to him/her and know more about how other people think. In other time you can easily listen to what people talk. You can see many nice scene that is not possible see in other public places so this sound really nice. The bad things about this job is that there is not job progress but your skill in making relation to others will improve fast.
 I talk so much. What do you want to do? Are you satisfy with your job? Do you think is there any better job that what you are doing now?

- Sadeq

[Mehdi Amirhaydary]

Hi!
Am I allowed to correct some little mistakes you have made?
Regards,
Mehdi

[Mahssa]

Why not, we are all here to correct each other,and improve our English
skills.
Your participation in any part is most welcomed.

[Mahssa]

Dear Sadeq,
Thank you for your essay. That was acceptable. There was a nice
logical advance in your writing, you stared saying thing about why is
pleasure is important, but it is necessary to make money for life, so
you have to do a job, and then combined all together, and made a
suggestion. That helps the reader follow the writing and get the
points that you wanted. That was very good. I have made some notes in
brackets, corrections, and also suggestion. The note does NOT mean
that I did not like your job, as mentioned before, that was
acceptable, just tips for better future work. Any questions, do not
hesitate to leave a reply!
Cheers,
Mahssa

Hi,
I'm going to begin my first post in this group and wish we learn many

thing {things} together.

----
All of us though about what we want to do, witch job is suitable for

us, what are the parameters to select ideal job and so on.{We all
think about what we desire to do, which job is the most suitable, and
our ideal parameters to our jobs}
In my point {In my opinion}, enjoy {enjoying} the moment {the phrase
‘enjoying the moment’ is the subject of the sentence, is you say
enjoy, it will be an order form, means that you are telling some on to
enjoy, but that is not what you intend to say, the phrase ‘enjoying
the moment’ is considered noun, and subject of the sentence} is {the,
’the’ is used before superlative form of adjectives } most important
part of life. Doing things that maximize length and deep {depth, a
noun is need here, the noun form of ‘deep’, is ‘depth’} the happy
times are so important {I’d rather sat this sentence like that: It’s
very important to do things that makes you more happy, longer times,
and deeply! I guess that you translate something from Persian in your
mind, please do think in English to write good English Essays}, and
{when using ‘and’, put a ‘,’ just beside the previous word, then a
space is need, now put the term ‘and’}job is just a part of life.
In other hand {on the other hand}, all of us know that to be able do
things we need money! But {You should capitalize ‘b’ because the
exclamation mark (!) has finished the previous sentence, you have used
‘but’ to start a new sentence, and the first word of any sentence is
capitalized } earn {use ‘earning’ or’ to earn’, because after a
conjunction, you need a noun, adding ‘ing’ after or use ‘to’ before,
makes noun out of a verb } money and enjoy moments {enjoying yourself,
notice ‘ing’ form, and the expression ‘enjoy yourself’ is much more
common } is not possible together {better to say’ is not achieved at
the same time’} in most cases.
Anyway, I like to see people talking each other {talking with each
other} and {, and: for the same reason mentioned before} discuss in
{omit ‘in’ no preposition needed after the discuss } different
subjects. I like to meet peoples {omit ‘s’, people is a plural noun,
that means it means a group of people itself, and no ‘s’ is needed
here} with different ideas. In other hand {‘on the other hand’ or ‘in
other words’} I'm really great in computer field and enjoy the moments
I design and develop new programs, and I like the IT world because of
it change so fast {‘because of fast changes’ or ‘because it changes so
fast’, the word ‘change’ is both noun and verb, in the fist phrase I
have used it as noun, and a verb in latter } and {‘, and’ like I
mentioned before} you will not become bored {better to say ‘you are
not bored’, again I feel that you translated you Farsi mind to
English!}.

Another patient for me is looking to the children when they are
learning to live. I think a lot about what I like and what I did

before well. {I am not following you in this paragraph, in fact the
word ‘patient’ is no used properly, I guess that you wanted to mention
that you enjoy kids grow, and try to learn life skills, am I
right??!!}
I think my current job will not satisfy enough more {my current job is
not satisfying anymore} but It is really so better for make money than
other options {‘but it is the best choice for me to make money’, or
‘there is not better option for me to make money’ }, So I think it is
good idea to find a part time job for evening {evenings would be
better I guess}. maybe {‘m’ must be capitalized as mentioned before}
what {better to use ‘something’ instead of ‘what’, then you have to
say ‘something that helps me’}help {helps, third person verb takes
‘s’} me meet more peoples {people, as I mentioned before}. Therefore
there is {are}two option {options, ‘option’ is a countable noun and
needs ‘s’, when more than one}, being a tour leader and {or, these are
two separate options, if you use ‘and’, you join them together and
make one option} work in a coffee shop. The 1st one seems really good

because you can meet people from all around the world, talk to them

and {, and, as I mentioned before} in addition you have visit many
places. I tested it and {, and, as I mentioned before} it sound
{sounded, because you said ‘tested’ so it refers to something done in
the past, so the next verb must be in the same tense } great. now {‘n’
must be capitalized as mentioned before} I'm {an} active member of
CouchSurfing {“ CouchSurfing”, use double quote when writing special
names }website and meet really nice people. It help {helps as
mentioned before} me to practice my English and improve it.
Unfortunately I have not the chance to test {the, ‘the’ is used before
1st, 2nd,,…} 2nd option. I'm seeking for {omit ‘for’, no preposition
needed after seek, you may also say searching for}a chance to test it
to { I am sure you meant ‘too’}. being {‘b’ must be capitalized as
mentioned before} a coffee-man seems great You meet new people every
day, if one of them become {becomes, as mentioned before} a customer
{better to say regular customer, anybody who uses your service is your
customer, even for once, but the one who comes regularly is your
regular customer} or if some one {someone, it is a single word, ‘some
ones’ have a different meaning} come {comes as I mentioned before},
you may able talk to {you may be able to talk to, ‘able’ is a kind of
adjective, and need ‘to be’ verb} him/her and know more about how
other people think. In other time {Other times, no ‘in’ is needed} you
can easily listen to what people talk {talk about}. You can see many
nice scene {scenes, many refers to plural form, as scene is a
countable noun, you have to use ‘s’} that is not possible see {to see,
or seeing} in other public places. {Avoid writing long sentences, it
is hard for readers to follow you, so cut here, put a dot, and start a
new sentence } so {omit ‘so’, there is no need for that} this {‘s’
must be capitalized as I mentioned before} sound {sounds, as I
mentioned before} really nice. The bad things {thing, not plural, you
have just mentioned one reason, so no need for plural form} about this
job is that there is not job progress{there is no progress sounds
nicer, do not repeat word so close, I mean the word ‘job’ here} but
your skill in making relation to others {make relation refers to
something else, you may say, making friends with other people or
socializing with other people but not making relations at all, that is
emotional physical affairs} will improve fast.
I talk so much {too much, so much for positive sense, and too much
for negative ones, here you mean that the long text may bother so you
have to use ‘too much’}. What do you want to do? Are you satisfy
{satisfied, with ‘to be’ verb, we use adjectives, and above that, this
is a passive sentence } with your job? Do you think is there any
better job that {I am sure you meant ‘than’} what you are doing now?

- Sadeq