Clean jokes …
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Gary Phelps
Oct 8, 2024, 8:08:04 PM10/8/24
to Sailors Clean Humor
Clean jokes …
Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
——
My significant other and I were discussing mistakes we have made in our relationship.
I suggested she should embrace her mistakes.
She then hugged me.
——
A Setback Is A Setup
"A setback is a setup for a comeback."
- Anonymous
——
—
To subscribe to Sailors Clean Humor send blank email to sailors-clean-...@googlegroups.com
—
Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
——
My significant other and I were discussing mistakes we have made in our relationship.
I suggested she should embrace her mistakes.
She then hugged me.
——
A Setback Is A Setup
"A setback is a setup for a comeback."
- Anonymous
——
—
To subscribe to Sailors Clean Humor send blank email to sailors-clean-...@googlegroups.com
—
Gary Phelps
Oct 15, 2024, 12:28:09 PM10/15/24
to Sailors Clean Humor
Clean jokes…
Sayings from airlines:
On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
——
On landing the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you are going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
——
"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
——
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
——
A flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
——
From a Southwest Airlines employee...."Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 859 to Los Angeles. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
——
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child...pick your favorite. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
——
"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
——
"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children... or other adults acting like children."
Sayings from airlines:
On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
——
On landing the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you are going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
——
"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
——
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
——
A flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
——
From a Southwest Airlines employee...."Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 859 to Los Angeles. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
——
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child...pick your favorite. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
——
"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
——
"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children... or other adults acting like children."
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