Clean jokes… Turkey day, humor…
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Gary Phelps
Nov 23, 2024, 8:31:03 PM11/23/24
to Sailors Clean Humor
Clean jokes… Turkey day, humor…
"What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?" "He got the stuffing knocked out of him!"
——
"Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at dinner?" "Because he will gobble it up."
My wife accused me of not liking her family and relatives. I replied, “No, I don’t dislike your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.”
——
My son was like "I got a D in my math class" and I was like "That's really bad" ... and my wife was like ... "you need to stop doing his homework."
——
Teacher: Are you good in history? Little Johnny: Yes and no. Teacher: What does that mean? Little Johnny: Yes, I’m no good in history
——
After years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, a young man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.
"Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "But it didn't work out and they brought you back."
——
A man being tried for murder happens to know one of the jurors. Before jury deliberation, the man finds a way to contact his friend and emphatically demands that he vote for life in prison with the possibility of parole. The friend agrees.
The jury deliberates for a week and returns a verdict of guilty with life imprisonment. The convicted man phones his friend and asks why it took so long for the verdict.
His friend says, "It took me a long time to convince the other jurors for life imprisonment."
"Why is that?"
"Because they wanted to acquit you!"
——
You Talk When You Cease
“You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.”
- Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
——
—
To subscribe to Sailors Clean Humor send blank email to sailors-clean-...@googlegroups.com
—
"What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?" "He got the stuffing knocked out of him!"
——
"Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at dinner?" "Because he will gobble it up."
My wife accused me of not liking her family and relatives. I replied, “No, I don’t dislike your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.”
——
My son was like "I got a D in my math class" and I was like "That's really bad" ... and my wife was like ... "you need to stop doing his homework."
——
Teacher: Are you good in history? Little Johnny: Yes and no. Teacher: What does that mean? Little Johnny: Yes, I’m no good in history
——
After years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, a young man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.
"Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "But it didn't work out and they brought you back."
——
A man being tried for murder happens to know one of the jurors. Before jury deliberation, the man finds a way to contact his friend and emphatically demands that he vote for life in prison with the possibility of parole. The friend agrees.
The jury deliberates for a week and returns a verdict of guilty with life imprisonment. The convicted man phones his friend and asks why it took so long for the verdict.
His friend says, "It took me a long time to convince the other jurors for life imprisonment."
"Why is that?"
"Because they wanted to acquit you!"
——
You Talk When You Cease
“You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.”
- Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
——
—
To subscribe to Sailors Clean Humor send blank email to sailors-clean-...@googlegroups.com
—
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