Walmart Bar Jokes, Walmart Short Jokes, physically challenged students, family jokes, Wallymart, Wallyworld. Pool, teacher, Cenosillicaphobia
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Gary Phelps
Apr 9, 2019, 10:34:14 AM4/9/19
to Sailors Clean Humor
Walmart Bar Jokes, Walmart Short Jokes, physically challenged students, family jokes, Wallymart, Wallyworld. Pool, teacher, Cenosillicaphobia
A 61 year old employee, Roger Stephens, allegedly slapped a 2 year old toddler he'd never even seen before because she wouldn't stop crying in a Walmart store in Georgia.
The girl's mother later told the local news, "That man is probably one of the worst greeters they've ever hired!"
*****
Wal-Mart announced plans to open its first retail stores in India and China. Tags on clothes and stickers on items will read, "Made Here."
*****
Pool Player #1: "I nicknamed the cue ball on my pool table 'Itch'."
Pool Player #2: "Why?"
Pool Player #1: "I'm always scratching it!"
*****
Walmart Short Jokes
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because they are all Targets!
Q: How can you afford a middle class lifestyle on $10/hour (average pay at Walmart)?
A: By shopping at Walmart!
Q: Why did Westley Strellis smash 29 Flat Screen TVs with an Easton baseball bat at a local Walmart in Atlanta, Georgia?
A: They were playing an episode of MTVs "Jersey Shore"
Q: Why did Walmart abandon it's plans to open a bank?
A: CEO Lee Scott found out it's against the law to lock illegals and cleaning staff in bank vaults after hours without paying overtime.
Q: What does Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: Boy's underwear half off!
Q: What do you call a dog that steals from Big Box stores?
A: "The Wolf of Walmart"
Q: How dumb is your momma?
A: So dumb, she got lost in a Wal-Mart and went around asking the smilie faces which way was out!
*****
Teacher: How many seconds are there in a year?
Little Johnny: Twelve.
Teacher: Twelve? Are you sure?
Little Johnny: Yes. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2....
*****
During my first meeting with my physically challenged students, I assured them that most people are handicapped in some way.
"Look at me," I said. "My eyes are so bad, I need to wear glasses. Because I can barely hear, I need a hearing aid. and look at my ears -- they're much bigger than they should be."
From the back, boy added, "And your nose too."
*****
What Is Cenosillicaphobia?
Cenosillicaphobia is a real thing and it affects many people. What is it exactly? It is the fear of an empty beer glass.
A 61 year old employee, Roger Stephens, allegedly slapped a 2 year old toddler he'd never even seen before because she wouldn't stop crying in a Walmart store in Georgia.
The girl's mother later told the local news, "That man is probably one of the worst greeters they've ever hired!"
*****
Wal-Mart announced plans to open its first retail stores in India and China. Tags on clothes and stickers on items will read, "Made Here."
*****
Pool Player #1: "I nicknamed the cue ball on my pool table 'Itch'."
Pool Player #2: "Why?"
Pool Player #1: "I'm always scratching it!"
*****
Walmart Short Jokes
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because they are all Targets!
Q: How can you afford a middle class lifestyle on $10/hour (average pay at Walmart)?
A: By shopping at Walmart!
Q: Why did Westley Strellis smash 29 Flat Screen TVs with an Easton baseball bat at a local Walmart in Atlanta, Georgia?
A: They were playing an episode of MTVs "Jersey Shore"
Q: Why did Walmart abandon it's plans to open a bank?
A: CEO Lee Scott found out it's against the law to lock illegals and cleaning staff in bank vaults after hours without paying overtime.
Q: What does Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: Boy's underwear half off!
Q: What do you call a dog that steals from Big Box stores?
A: "The Wolf of Walmart"
Q: How dumb is your momma?
A: So dumb, she got lost in a Wal-Mart and went around asking the smilie faces which way was out!
*****
Teacher: How many seconds are there in a year?
Little Johnny: Twelve.
Teacher: Twelve? Are you sure?
Little Johnny: Yes. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2....
*****
During my first meeting with my physically challenged students, I assured them that most people are handicapped in some way.
"Look at me," I said. "My eyes are so bad, I need to wear glasses. Because I can barely hear, I need a hearing aid. and look at my ears -- they're much bigger than they should be."
From the back, boy added, "And your nose too."
*****
What Is Cenosillicaphobia?
Cenosillicaphobia is a real thing and it affects many people. What is it exactly? It is the fear of an empty beer glass.
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