Clean jokes…
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Gary Phelps
Nov 20, 2024, 8:03:04 PM11/20/24
to Sailors Clean Humor
Clean jokes…
When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?” I said, “No, not particularly."
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Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note, it said, ‘Parking Fine.
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So this Texan fella was visiting Australia and met an Aussie farmer, the Aussie showed him his fields, and his cattle. The Texan bragged, "We have fields and cattle that are twice as large.” Just then 3 kangaroos came bounding past, and the Texan said, “What are those?" The Aussie asked, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"l
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Last night I visited a stately home and I said to the tour guide, "Is this place supposed to be haunted as rumors would have it’?" He replied, "In all the time that I have worked here, I have never seen a ghost". I said, "That is a relief, how long have you worked here?" He said, "About 700 years".
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"What did the turkey say to the computer?" "Google, google."
"What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost?" "A poultry-geist."
"What kind of weather does a turkey like?" "Fowl weather."
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To subscribe to Sailors Clean Humor send blank email to sailors-clean-...@googlegroups.com
—
When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?” I said, “No, not particularly."
——
Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note, it said, ‘Parking Fine.
——
So this Texan fella was visiting Australia and met an Aussie farmer, the Aussie showed him his fields, and his cattle. The Texan bragged, "We have fields and cattle that are twice as large.” Just then 3 kangaroos came bounding past, and the Texan said, “What are those?" The Aussie asked, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"l
——
Last night I visited a stately home and I said to the tour guide, "Is this place supposed to be haunted as rumors would have it’?" He replied, "In all the time that I have worked here, I have never seen a ghost". I said, "That is a relief, how long have you worked here?" He said, "About 700 years".
——
"What did the turkey say to the computer?" "Google, google."
"What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost?" "A poultry-geist."
"What kind of weather does a turkey like?" "Fowl weather."
——
—
To subscribe to Sailors Clean Humor send blank email to sailors-clean-...@googlegroups.com
—
Gary Phelps
Nov 21, 2024, 8:27:03 PM11/21/24
to Sailors Clean Humor
Clean jokes…
"What's the best song to play while cooking a turkey?" "All about that baste."
"Why did the turkey cross the road?" "He wanted people to think he was a chicken."
"Why was the turkey put in jail?" "The police suspected fowl play."
"How come the turkey didn't eat dinner?" "He was already stuffed."
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I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes. I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis.
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Lady: "Is this my train?" Station Master: "No, it belongs to the railroad company." Lady: "Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New York." Station Master: "No Mam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy."
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A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train. ”The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead, and if my bull sees you, you’ll be able to catch the 4:11 train.”
"What's the best song to play while cooking a turkey?" "All about that baste."
"Why did the turkey cross the road?" "He wanted people to think he was a chicken."
"Why was the turkey put in jail?" "The police suspected fowl play."
"How come the turkey didn't eat dinner?" "He was already stuffed."
——
I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes. I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis.
——
Lady: "Is this my train?" Station Master: "No, it belongs to the railroad company." Lady: "Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New York." Station Master: "No Mam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy."
——
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train. ”The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead, and if my bull sees you, you’ll be able to catch the 4:11 train.”
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